# Giving your parents and/or SOs addresses of your friends? Ok? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595 "2011-01-31T02:43:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/41 "2011-02-02T19:34:34Z")
Please continue to work toward moving out. Keep looking for a better job or consider roommates. Once you are out & financially independent, please consider refusing them keys to your apartment. At that time, perhaps you can respectfully indicate that you would hate to cut them out of your life but you need to be treated as an adult. Until then, do refuse to give them anybody’s addresses, but offer cell #'s. Do you always endeavor to return any of their calls promptly? You are at a disadvantage as long as you are a dependent. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/42 "2011-02-02T20:00:51Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Uh, that’s what roomates are for. If you wanted to make it happen, you could make it happen. She already has roommates. It’s not an ideal situation, but repeatedly insisting that the OP needs to move out when she has already indicated that this situation is what is financially feasible for her at the moment doesn’t really answer her question. It’s okay to just answer the OP’s question. Nobody will look down on you for that. That said, the OP’s parents certainly are overstepping boundaries. There’s rarely any reason a name and phone number of the OP’s closest friends shouldn’t suffice. It would also be in her right to refuse even that if she feels her parents are smothering her. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/43 "2011-02-02T20:34:49Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > What’s the monthly rent and utilities? Sent a PM. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/44 "2011-02-04T14:40:23Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > She already has roommates. It’s not an ideal situation, but repeatedly insisting that the OP needs to move out when she has already indicated that this situation is what is financially feasible for her at the moment doesn’t really answer her question. > > It’s okay to just answer the OP’s question. Nobody will look down on you for that. > > That said, the OP’s parents certainly are overstepping boundaries. There’s rarely any reason a name and phone number of the OP’s closest friends shouldn’t suffice. It would also be in her right to refuse even that if she feels her parents are smothering her. I think that you’re judging the parents too harshly. Clearly, the OP cannot behave in a way that would resolve the ‘conflict’ and the parents are doing what they believe is right to resolve their conflicts. The OP has no resources with which behave in an adult fashion. In short, if the OP wants to be treated as a child, the parents are obliging. I do not feel that any of this is wrong, only that the OP wants to be the boss, but doesn’t want to put in the hours. Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/45 "2011-02-04T15:46:55Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > Please continue to work toward moving out. Keep looking for a better job or consider roommates. Once you are out & financially independent, please consider refusing them keys to your apartment. At that time, perhaps you can respectfully indicate that you would hate to cut them out of your life but you need to be treated as an adult. > > Until then, do refuse to give them anybody’s addresses, but offer cell #'s. Quoted for truth. From what you’ve said, Diamonds02, if you give your parents a set of keys for emergency purposes (ie. you’ve locked yourself out), this trust will be misused. I’m sure your parents aren’t bad people but they clearly have a problem with boundaries. The only harder than steadfastly refusing giving your parents keys will be asking for them back or changing the locks to keep them from invading your space. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595/46 "2011-02-04T16:01:14Z")
> [@PotLuck](#): > > I’m sure your parents aren’t bad people but they clearly have a problem with boundaries. Where do you get that they have boundary issues? Because they want to know who she’s hanging out with and where they live? That’s not a boundary issue. They sound like overprotective parents. And the OP sounds like an adult child. Most people in their late 20’s don’t live at home. Most parents of whose children are in their late 20’s don’t let them live at home. The OP and and her parents sound like they are made for each other. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-your-parents-and-or-sos-addresses-of-your-friends-ok/569595.md?page=2)