# Gladly the Cross I'd Eat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210 "2005-03-25T15:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/1 "2005-03-25T15:08:15Z")
> [@](#): > > KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - A symbol of Christianity that sits atop church steeples, dangles from necks and hangs on walls is being worshipped in a new way - in the mouths of the faithful. A mass-produced chocolate cross is being sold this Easter by Russell Stover Candies Inc. in about 5,000 stores nationwide.The milk chocolate cross is about 6 inches high, adorned with a floral bouquet and filled with caramel made of goat’s milk, popular in Mexico and Latin America. Russell Stover President Tom Ward doesn’t expect the chocolate cross to overtake the chocolate bunny, but he does expect it to bring in new customers who “wouldn’t buy rabbits. A molded Jesus, for example, would not be a good call and a cross with Jesus on it wouldn’t be a good idea either,” Ward said. But even chomping on a plain chocolate cross is offensive to Joseph McAleer, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic diocese in Bridgeport, Conn. “The cross should be venerated, not eaten, nor tossed casually in an Easter basket beside the jelly beans and marshmallow Peeps,” he said. “It’s insulting.” It’s not often I agree with religious leaders, but Mr. McAleer and I are as one on this. I remember seeing chocolate Wives of Henry VIII when I was in England (the temptation is to bite off Anne Boleyn’s and Katharine Howard’s heads off right away). What are some of the more unfortunate candy images you’ve chowed down on? ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/2 "2005-03-25T15:20:51Z")
I never ate one, or saw the actual candy, but I did see a picture of a chocolate mold identical to the photo of a starving Biafran child used to pimp charities in the seventies. It was the most disgusting image I can recall. I think Jesus would like that one even less than the Chocolate Jesus image. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/3 "2005-03-25T15:22:29Z")
…_goat’s milk caramel_? ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/4 "2005-03-25T15:23:19Z")
Well, I’ve been seeing candy crosses for some time. One of the few Easter treats that is labeled white chocolate is a white chocolate cross sold at Walgreens and other places. I think the brand is Palmer, but I could be mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/5 "2005-03-25T15:24:52Z")
Caramel made of goats milk? Sounds intriguing, I’d risk a little hellfire to try one! 🙂 I shyed away from buying them, but noticed that Target has gawdawful orangey-red marshmallow peeps. The package actually said “Target-red!” as if someone thought that would be a selling point. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/6 "2005-03-25T15:25:28Z")
Crunchy Frog. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/7 "2005-03-25T15:25:40Z")
> [@lee](#): > > One of the few Easter treats that is labeled white chocolate is a white chocolate cross sold at Walgreens and other places. Does it have cherry filling that oozes out when you bite it? 'Cause that would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/8 "2005-03-25T15:30:50Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > I never ate one, or saw the actual candy, but I did see a picture of a chocolate mold identical to the photo of a starving Biafran child used to pimp charities in the seventies. Wouldn’t be very filling, I’d imagine. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/9 "2005-03-25T15:31:55Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > Does it have cherry filling that oozes out when you bite it? 'Cause that would be cool. And the winner of this weeks first class ticket straight to hell goes to… 😃 I’ll be joinin’ ya cause I can’t stop laughing at this. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/10 "2005-03-25T15:32:58Z")
Maybe we could make jellybean rosaries for kids. It could make praying fun and delicious. I’m not catholic but I remember my friends kid trying to recite all the things that the various beads stood for. Just think how fast he’d have learned it if each thing were a delicious new flavor! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/11 "2005-03-25T15:36:45Z")
Did I say delicious? I meant Cruci-licious. Do they make a Krackel™ version of this? Because they could market it as Corpus-Crispie. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/12 "2005-03-25T15:44:39Z")
A kid comes home from Sunday school. His mom asked him what hymns they sang. He says, “The one about the bear”. “Bear?”, his puzzled mother replies. “Yeah”, he says, “that cross-eyed bear”. “You sang about a cross-eyed bear in Sunday school!?”, asks the totally confused mother. “Yeah”, replies the kid. “Gladly, the cross-eyed bear”. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/13 "2005-03-25T15:50:57Z")
[Hijack]I’m still waiting for the blow up Jesus. A 7 foot Jesus on the cross would look great on my lawn![/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/14 "2005-03-25T15:52:32Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#): > > A kid comes home from Sunday school. His mom asked him what hymns they sang. > > He says, “The one about the bear”. > > “Bear?”, his puzzled mother replies. > > “Yeah”, he says, “that cross-eyed bear”. > > “You sang about a cross-eyed bear in Sunday school!?”, asks the totally confused mother. > > “Yeah”, replies the kid. “Gladly, the cross-eyed bear”. Right – that’s exactly what **Eve** was riffing on in the thread title. (I remember getting chocolate crosses, adorned with what appeared to be hard-nougat lilies, when I was a kid.) Googling for the punchline to your joke, I found that Ed McBain had written a detective novel with that title, which is going on my “do not read” list, along with [this](http://www.redbay.com/ekklesia/gbbooks.htm), in which a cartoon character named Gladly Bear, who has the requisite ophthalmic problem, goes on adventures. (I was not able to confirm that the books were edited by Esmeralda, 13th Baroness Mondegreen.) ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/15 "2005-03-25T15:58:01Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Did I say delicious? I meant Cruci-licious. Do they make a Krackel™ version of this? Because they could market it as Corpus-Crispie. Damn you!!! I can’t think of anything nearly so funny or clever. Arrrgggg!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/16 "2005-03-25T16:04:03Z")
I don’t care if I brushes or flosses Long as I got my chocolate crosses Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps Deep rich brown, not white or tan Melts in your mouth not in your hand Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps The Old Rugged Cross made by Russell Stover Means that Spring is here, and winter’s over Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/17 "2005-03-25T16:08:21Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Damn you!!! I can’t think of anything nearly so funny or clever. Arrrgggg!! 🙂 Oh, don’t worry. I’m damned now. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/18 "2005-03-25T16:08:31Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > I don’t care if I brushes or flosses > Long as I got my chocolate crosses > Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps > Deep rich brown, not white or tan > Melts in your mouth not in your hand > Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps > > The Old Rugged Cross made by Russell Stover > Means that Spring is here, and winter’s over > Sitting next to my marshmallow peeps Hold up folks! We got us a late entry in the weekly First Class One Way Ticket To Hell Contest and it looks like a sur- fire winner! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/19 "2005-03-25T16:15:04Z")
From **Polycarp** : > [@](#): > > I remember getting chocolate crosses, adorned with what appeared to be hard-nougat lilies, when I was a kid.) Ditto here – I remember chocolate crosses from when I was a kid. Why the big deal about it now? You want a blasphemous idea people can get worked up about? Garfield-style stick-up crucifixes with suction cups on each arm. For your car. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/20 "2005-03-25T16:16:42Z")
I want a chocolate Jesus with raspberry filling. No, really. I do. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210.md?page=2)