# Gladly the Cross I'd Eat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210 "2005-03-25T15:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/41 "2005-03-25T20:03:43Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > What are some of the more unfortunate candy images you’ve chowed down on? My mother and her friends used to love to throw crazy parties, often including goodie bags for all the attendees. One year she threw a Halloween party and I got to help her make the prizes. The best (or worst, I can’t recall) costumes won a “boobie prize,” which was big chocolate boobs she’d made using “adult” candy molds, white chocolate and food coloring and a large chocolate penis, complete with chocolate dipped shredded coconut in the appropriate places. Every guest got a smaller version of either a chocolate boob or a chocolate penis on a stick. I have a feeling those wouldn’t go over too well in an Easter basket, either. > [@Polycarp](#): > > Googling for the punchline to your joke, I found that Ed McBain had written a detective novel with that title, which is going on my “do not read” list Good call – it sucked! ---
**Author:** ![Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lathe_of_Heaven)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/42 "2005-03-25T20:17:31Z")
Maybe there’s an epidemic of cluelessness at the chocolate factory. How else to explain the [Kosher Easter chocolates](http://www.boingboing.net/2005/02/02/kosher_eastereggs.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/43 "2005-03-25T20:46:29Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’m confused. Don’t Catholics regularly venerate Christ himself by eating his flesh and body? What’s wrong with eating his cross? Exactly. I seem to recall Jesus tearing a piece of bread off the loaf and saying “eat me” to his disciples. He also gave them wine and I’m pretty sure he expected them to swallow. But as for inflatable Jesus, I wonder if it will be created by the same company that made the autopilot in _Airplane!_. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/44 "2005-03-25T21:21:18Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > [Ooooh, I’d love a chocolate Joan Crawford!] No milk chocolate Joans EVER! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/45 "2005-03-25T21:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Jesus peein’ on a gay couple might be a better seller, dontcha think? > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Kinky. I have found my market niche! It’s queer Canadian pervs!😃 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/46 "2005-03-25T22:33:26Z")
Well, the problem with the chocolate crucifix is refraining from eating Jesus’ ears right off the bat… ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/47 "2005-03-25T22:48:19Z")
Years and years ago, I was reading the Weekly World News. One of the stories was about a guy who made a chocolate Jesus with raspberry filling. He called it Sweet Jesus. Life is starting to imitate the Weekly World News, folks. Time for the weird to turn pro. ---
**Author:** ![Library\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cab0a1/32.png) [@Library\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Library_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/48 "2005-03-25T22:48:57Z")
The Revised Revised New Testament: John 6:55-56r 55revised For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed, and my cross is a yummy milk chocolate. 56revised He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him, and he who eats my cross before dinner spoils his Easter ham. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/49 "2005-03-25T23:58:12Z")
Now why stop at simple Christian blasphemy? 😃 [Sacrelicious?](http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deities.php) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/50 "2005-03-25T23:59:48Z")
Obligatory Tom Waits quote: > [@](#): > > I don’t go to church on Sunday > Don’t get on my knees to pray > Don’t memorize the books of the Bible > I got my own special way > I know Jesus loves me > Maybe just a little bit more > I fall down on my knees every Sunday > > At Zerelda Lee’s candy store > Well, it’s got to be a chocolate Jesus > Makes me feel good inside > Got to be a chocolate Jesus > Keeps me satisfied… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/51 "2005-03-26T00:26:42Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Now why stop at simple Christian blasphemy? 😃 > > [Sacrelicious?](http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deities.php) Godvinda Jaya Jaya, Gopala Jaya Jaya Radha-ramanahari. Godiva Jaya Jaya ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/52 "2005-03-26T01:28:24Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Now why stop at simple Christian blasphemy? 😃 > > [Sacrelicious?](http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deities.php) Must…have…chocolate Willendorf Goddess! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/53 "2005-03-26T01:44:23Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > Must…have…chocolate Willendorf Goddess! Oooh, **Spoiler** How are you doing 🙂 Don’t see you post often. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/54 "2005-03-26T03:58:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I never ate one, or saw the actual candy, but I did see a picture of a chocolate mold identical to the photo of a starving Biafran child used to pimp charities in the seventies. That was originally from a _National Lampoon_ cover. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/55 "2005-03-26T04:01:08Z")
> [@](#): > > He also gave them wine and I’m pretty sure he expected them to swallow. Well, it’s easy to _say_ you love Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/56 "2005-03-26T04:03:51Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Now why stop at simple Christian blasphemy? 😃 > > [Sacrelicious?](http://www.chocolatedeities.com/deities.php) I’ll have a Ganesh Ganache and a Cocoa-pelli, please. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/57 "2005-03-26T04:09:34Z")
> [@Alonzo John Blitz](#): > > What’s next, halvah Stars of David? The difference is that the chocolate crosses will get eaten while the halvah Stars of David will sit around until NEXT Passover. (No, I have no idea if that’s true. I just don’t like halvah and assume it’s something you serve to make Nana think you still care about the old ways, like Swedes and lutefisk.) ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/58 "2005-03-26T04:13:49Z")
I’m suprised no one has posted [this](http://www.goats.com/archive/980313.html) in this thread ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/59 "2005-03-26T18:13:41Z")
I’m sure they’ve got plenty of chocolate crosses down at Jesus Christ Superstore. _Jesus Christ, Superstore! Come get the bargains you’re looking for!_ Yes, Jesus Christ Superstore is having their big three day sale. The angel is rolling back prices on everything in stock! Crosses, all you can bear for 12.99! Holy water, All flavors .99 a gallon! Ready-to-burn Books, $4.99 a bundle! So come on down to Jesus Christ Superstore. Where Jesus saves…And so do you! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210/60 "2005-03-26T20:55:58Z")
I’ll have the Caramel Cthulhu, please. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gladly-the-cross-id-eat/296210.md?page=4)