# Glenn Beck and the Worst Book Cover Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 11, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635 "2009-09-11T01:34:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MizTina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MizTina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizTina)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/61 "2009-09-11T16:08:59Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Congratulations. I believe you have just coined **MizTina** ’s Law: > > As any discussion of Glenn Beck grows longer, the probability of someone asking “Is this for real?” approaches 1. Oh yay, I get a law named for me! 😃 Oh crap, it forever associates me with Whistle Britches! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/62 "2009-09-11T16:11:17Z")
> [@MizTina](#): > > Oh crap, it forever associates me with **Whistle Britches**! :smack: I have no idea what this means, but I’m going to be snickering about it for the next hour at least. ---
**Author:** ![MizTina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MizTina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizTina)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/63 "2009-09-11T16:12:19Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > “whistle britches”? The first definition, one who wears corduroy clothing, is fairly innocuous. Rapidly downhill from there… Back in the day, whistle britches also meant someone full of hot air and bullshit, a regular blowhard. It wasn’t the innocuous definition I was stressing there. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/64 "2009-09-11T16:52:46Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Does he adress the allegation in his book that he [raped and murdered a young girl in 1990](http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/)? I am not sayng he did, I just wonder why he avoids the topic in his new book. I was shocked to read that this might be an actual story. Glen Beck. Murder. Rape. A young girl. 1990. I know that people ARE discussing this. Why isn’t Glen Beck responding? If it’s not true, all he has to do is offer irrefutable proof that he didn’t rape and murder a young girl in 1990. I’m keeping an open mind though; maybe it was just a youthful indiscretion. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/65 "2009-09-11T17:04:18Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Much as I hate to say this, Beck wasn’t all that [far off.](http://www.diego-rivera.org/rockefellercontroversy.html) OK, maybe temporally he was - after all, 75 years is a long time. Beck specifically discussed that mural in his Rockefeller communist rant. What he didn’t bother to mention was that the mural was destroyed by Rockefeller shortly after it was painted. And by “didn’t bother to mention,” I mean, “lied blatantly about it still being there.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/66 "2009-09-11T17:05:06Z")
Eh, she was probably a Democrat anyway. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/67 "2009-09-11T17:19:51Z")
The best part is I first came to know of this book while watching his show. The deal was Bill Maher went on Conan O’Brien (or whoever) and said something about people being stupid. Beck got all huffy, and went on with something like, “Oh, la-de-da, Mr. Maher. You’re so smart, and everyone else is so stupid. Well I don’t think people are stupid. I don’t think people are stupid for exercising their rights or disagreeing with me.” Then he cut to a plug for his book, and I saw the title and cover. “Oh my!” I thought. “He must be going for some sort of super-irony!” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/68 "2009-09-11T19:57:59Z")
If he gets too annoying, we can always sic [THESE GUYS](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Repin_Cossacks.jpg) on him. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/69 "2009-09-11T20:26:40Z")
> [@jesuslynch](#): > > You forget. You’ve got to substitute a K for the C. > > It’s a _Kookbook_! This, I have to say, is beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![MizTina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MizTina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizTina)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/70 "2009-09-11T20:37:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If he gets too annoying, we can always sic [THESE GUYS](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Repin_Cossacks.jpg) on him. Heh, and maybe send the letter those guys are purported to be writing in the painting. "According to the legend, the reply was a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes, parodying the Sultan’s titles: Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan! You, turkish devil and damned devil’s brother and friend, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother. You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian villain, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother! So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding Christian pigs. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year in the book, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse! Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host" Clipped from here- [Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks) ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/71 "2009-09-11T20:48:21Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Brownies, Brownshirts - coincidence? _I think not._ Everyone knows those cookies are made from Jews. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/72 "2009-09-11T22:18:44Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Everyone knows those cookies are made from Jews. Are they made from real Jews? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/73 "2009-09-11T22:44:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Are they made from real Jews? No, from Orange Jews. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/74 "2009-09-12T03:05:18Z")
Nutrition alert: cookies may contain as much as 10% Gentile. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/75 "2009-09-12T03:38:02Z")
“’ 'ere, now, this one, whats this, then - _Crunchy Goy_? Don’t you even take the bones out?..” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/76 "2009-09-12T04:02:12Z")
Mmmm… Captain Crunchy! Now with more seamen! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/77 "2009-09-12T04:07:09Z")
So its come to this, has it? ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/78 "2009-09-12T04:24:28Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > I see, so there is a extrememly idiotic reason behind the get-up. Pretty much. If the core theme of the book appeared to be comparing Democrat policies to those of communist systems, it’s would actually be a funny cover, but based on the title, that does not appear to be the case, and to me the joke is bit forced. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/79 "2009-09-12T14:09:41Z")
Other bestsellers from the same publisher: “Diet and Exercise for Eternal Youth, Health, and Slimness” by John Goodman “Convincing Teenage Girls That Abstinence Works” by Sarah Palin and Lynne Spears “Everything in the World You Could Ever Want to Know about Retirement Planning” by Ed McMahon “How to Avoid Being an Annoying Washed Up Child Star” by Dustin Diamond ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635/80 "2009-09-12T14:48:15Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Glenn Beck: Satan’s Doorman Thank you for that. I’m still laughing. It should be shopped. Although, ‘Arguing with idiots’ with his face on the cover is probably a better title. I almost wonder if whomever convinced him of that title, and the silly costume is taking him for a bit of a ride. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glenn-beck-and-the-worst-book-cover-ever/509635.md?page=5)