# Glurge attributed to Mark Twain **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 31, 2016, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716 "2016-03-31T10:13:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/21 "2016-03-31T16:21:28Z")
And I’ve bookmarked her. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/22 "2016-03-31T16:27:19Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Oh, although In the OP I asked about dates and possible authors, I mostly want to avoid blaming Mr. Clemons and could use persuasive evidence that he had nothing to do with that mess. It doesn’t sound like[Bruce Springsteen’s saxophonist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Clemons)either. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/23 "2016-03-31T16:55:19Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Style counts. Anyone who has actually read Twain and knows what style is would reject that as a Twain quote if his body were dug up and it was found tattooed on his chest. It might be the most unlikely attribution I’ve ever seen (apart from jokes.) But it is very wide-spread and I couldn’t find a Snopes-style debunking. 485,000 Google hits for “Twain Kiss Slowly”. And yeah Mr.\*\* Gyrate\*\*, proving a negative is tough. I’m not familiar with the resources for finding the earliest printed uses of expressions, but was hoping someone might be able to discover that there’s no reference for some part of that glurge before, say, 1982. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/24 "2016-03-31T17:39:48Z")
A quick search finds this attributed to Twain on a website as early as 2008 (which predates the Coelho book by 6 years). It doesn’t sound even remotely like anything Twain would have or could have said. It’s as absurd as Sarah Palin attributing a quote about playing nicely to Socrates. Google N-gram has nothing on this quote. [http://forum.quoteland.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/99191541/m/3541012171](http://forum.quoteland.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/99191541/m/3541012171) > **[Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos](https://www.yahoo.com/)** > > Latest news coverage, email, free stock quotes, live scores and video are just the beginning. Discover more every day at Yahoo! I’ve found quite a few uses of this as a sig line from 2005: > **[New clam, gaping??? - Reef Central Online Community](http://www.reefcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=610336)** > > New clam, gaping??? Tridacnid Clams and other Mollusks assuming that the sig lines aren’t automatically updated when the user changes them (which may actually be the case), I’ve got at least three uses from vack then. Here’s a citation from 2005 (the sig line at the bottom of the first box), but it doesn’t atribute the quote to Twain. It’s the earliest use of it I’ve thus far found. > **[The LongLocks Salon - Message Boards for Long Hair Care, Hairstyles and Beauty](https://www.longlocks.com/salon/?num=1109220399%2F2)** > > The LongLocks Salon - Message Boards for Long Hair Care, Hairstyles and Beauty ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/25 "2016-03-31T17:45:34Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > It doesn’t sound like[Bruce Springsteen’s saxophonist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Clemons)either. 😉 To be fair, they’re both dead. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/26 "2016-03-31T17:47:36Z")
Here’s a book that attributes the quote to Mae West Women and Positive Aging: An International Perspective By Lisa Hollis-Sawyer, Amanda Dykema-Engblade (2016) p. 204 > **[Women and Positive Aging](https://books.google.com/books?id=QducBAAAQBAJ&pg=PA204&lpg=PA204&dq=%22Life%2Bis%2Bshort,%2Bbreak%2Bthe%2Brules,%2Bforgive%2Bquickly%22%2B%2B%2B2002&source=bl&ots=H4iBy57AxE&sig=k4_dOON3uAnIydnqQW4ZQIo6RxY&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj9y5qAvevLAhVQ5mMKHdI2D2sQ6AEIRzAJ#v=onepage&q=%22Life%20is%20short%2C%20break%20the%20rules%2C%20forgive%20quickly%22%20%20%202002&f=false)** > > Women and Positive Aging: An International Perspective presents the noted research in the fields of psychology, gerontology, and gender studies, reflecting the increasingly popular and pervasive positive aging issues of women in today’s society from... The book is copyrighted this year, though (!). attributions to Twain go back to at least 2008. This book attributes it to “unknown” on p. 81 Quote This!: A Collection of Illustrated Quotes for Educators By Diane Hodges (2008) > **[Quote This!](https://books.google.com/books?id=3kw_gc4iA84C&pg=PA81&dq=%22Life%2Bis%2Bshort,%2Bbreak%2Bthe%2Brules,%2Bforgive%2Bquickly%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwisqNGRvuvLAhVU1GMKHeNqBzY4ChDoAQgyMAQ#v=onepage&q=%22Life%20is%20short%2C%20break%20the%20rules%2C%20forgive%20quickly%22&f=false)** > > "Known for her motivational and humorous books, Diane Hodges provides the ultimate collection of inspirational quotes and reflective sayings designed to influence, encourage, and motivate educators. Complete with illustrations on a CD-ROM, the quotes... ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/27 "2016-03-31T17:49:13Z")
I can’t find it through Google Books before 2006. It gives a 2001 date to a Facebook post by Kevin Spacey (who attributes it to Twain) but if you check it was actually made in 2013. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/28 "2016-03-31T17:54:24Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I’ve found quite a few uses of this as a sig line from 2005: > > [New clam, gaping??? - Reef Central Online Community](http://www.reefcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=610336) > assuming that the sig lines aren’t automatically updated when the user changes them (which may actually be the case), I’ve got at least three uses from vack then. > > Here’s a citation from 2005 (the sig line at the bottom of the first box), but it doesn’t atribute the quote to Twain. It’s the earliest use of it I’ve thus far found. > [The LongLocks Salon - Message Boards for Long Hair Care, Hairstyles and Beauty](http://www.longlocks.com/salon/?num=1109220399/2) Sig lines and post counts are automatically updated. Looking at that forum’s front page I found the same sig and post count for bikerbraid as late as 2010. You’d have to find a contemporary cache to know what the sig was in 2005. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/29 "2016-03-31T17:54:32Z")
A quick search of Google Books turns up nothing as early as even 2000, attributed to anybody. On the other hand, this e-book from 2014 actually attributes it to Twain, along with a lot of other questionable quotations. > **[Mark Twain](https://books.google.com/books?id=0J3TAwAAQBAJ&pg=PT18&dq=%22Life%2Bis%2Bshort,%2Bbreak%2Bthe%2Brules%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIwaz4vuvLAhVG1mMKHRvcD5I4ChDoAQhKMAg#v=onepage&q=%22Life%20is%20short%2C%20break%20the%20rules%22&f=false)** > > This book is a collection of 233 quotes and aphorisms of Mark Twain: "Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words." "The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter." "The lack of money is the root of all... ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/30 "2016-03-31T20:40:47Z")
Aha! – here’s the thread about the Plato quote. It’s from 2010, and my comments and the quote start on entry #41: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=559832&highlight=Palin+Plato](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=559832&highlight=Palin+Plato) ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/31 "2016-03-31T23:36:01Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > “The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.” -Abraham Lincoln “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and internet quotes.” - Disraeli ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/32 "2016-04-01T03:16:24Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and internet quotes.” - Disraeli “A fourth kind. Anything said by Disraeli.” - Gladstone ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/33 "2016-04-01T13:53:50Z")
Just came across this quote attributed to Mark Twain that resembles the one in the OP: > [@](#): > > Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. –Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/34 "2016-04-01T14:01:23Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Just came across this quote attributed to Mark Twain that resembles the one in the OP: 1.) Granted, it does more closely resemble a Twain quote than the original 2.) Although I’ve read a LOT of Twain, I don’t recall this 3.) Your quote is missing a key ingredient – a _cite_. What work of Twain’s is it from? Or which webpage or book did you glean it from? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/35 "2016-04-01T14:17:05Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > … > What work of Twain’s is it from? Or which webpage or book did you glean it from? > **[HereAndAir.com is for sale | HugeDomains](https://www.hugedomains.com/domain_profile.cfm?d=hereandair.com)** > > Own this domain today. We make your shopping experience easy. Friendly and quick customer service. The ninth one down. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/36 "2016-04-01T14:21:33Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Just came across this quote attributed to Mark Twain that resembles the one in the OP: You know who debunked this? [Quote Investigator] ([Twenty Years From Now You Will Be More Disappointed By The Things You Didn’t Do Than By The Ones You Did Do – Quote Investigator®](http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/09/29/you-did/)). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/37 "2016-04-01T15:20:29Z")
Although that second “Twain” quote is more like him in style, it is certainly unlike him in tone. On the other hand, maybe people are just taking this (actual) Twain quote to heart: “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” – Rudyard Kipling, An Interview with Mark Twain, p. 180, From sea to sea: letters of travel, 1899, Doubleday & McClure Company. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/38 "2016-04-01T16:01:39Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > While it’s hard to prove a negative, the fact that it’s almost certainly not found in any of his known writings is a pretty good sign. > > I mean, you could contact the Twain Library (I haven’t checked but I assume there’s one somewhere) who have probably been asked about this 50,000 times already, but otherwise the poor quality of writing ought to be enough. [The Bancroft Library, UC Berkeley.](http://www.lib.berkeley.edu/libraries/bancroft-library/mark-twain-papers) Although they probably have better things to do. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/39 "2016-04-01T16:49:01Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > [The Bancroft Library, UC Berkeley.](http://www.lib.berkeley.edu/libraries/bancroft-library/mark-twain-papers) Although they probably have better things to do. 🙂 Already cited by me in post #11, in response to the same post you replied to. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716/40 "2016-04-01T20:09:13Z")
An actual quote that seems relevant: “I didn’t really say everything I said.” - Yogi Berra [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurge-attributed-to-mark-twain/750716.md?page=3)