# Glurgiest songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 28, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068 "2010-03-28T00:48:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/81 "2010-04-08T17:34:05Z")
Two or three bars of “Butterfly Kisses” is almost enough to send me into a diabetic coma. Fortunately, that leaves me just enough time to run screaming from the room. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/82 "2010-04-08T17:47:04Z")
Well, most of my choices have been taken already, but one remains, and it’s glurgier than anything that’s been mentioned on this thread that [del]I’ve heard[/del] I want to hear: [The Three Bells](http://www.lyricsmania.com/the_three_bells_the_jimmy_brown_song_lyrics_suzanne_clachair.html) At work so can’t find a YouTube video, but sung versions are sung in such a manner to up the glurge factor tenfold. I’m sure when they wrote and composed it the author was thinking “I’ll pump em so full of sap, they’ll have to blow their nose with a pancake!” (yes, stolen from The Simpsons) (And should I be ashamed of the fact that several of the songs in this thread were put into my iPod willingly because I liked them enough to go there? :o) ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/83 "2010-04-08T17:50:08Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > [Blind Man in the Bleachers](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o97ww2dZ9sU), here by Kenny Rogers. I came here to post \*\*“The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation” (aka “Cherokee People”) \*\*by Paul Revere and the Raiders but Blind Man in the Bleachers is perhaps the very definition of glurgiest song. IIRC, it was the B side to “Run, Joey, Run,” which I guess would be glurge with salt instead of sugar. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/84 "2010-04-08T17:53:06Z")
1. "[“Fancy”](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/reba+mcentire/fancy_20114558.html) by Reba McIntyre (written by Bobbi Gentry) 2. **“The Living Years”** by Michael & the Mechanics 3. \*\*“Seasons in the Sun” \*\*by Terry Jacks 4. **“Christmas Shoes”** by Bob Carlisle 5. **“Take the Girl”** by Tim McGraw 6. **“Butterfly Kisses”** by Bob Carlisle (does he get a special award for subjecting us to this inanity?) P.S. “In the Ghetto” by Elvis is one of my favorite songs, but I fully recognize that only Elvis could save it from a glurgy fate. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/85 "2010-04-08T17:53:39Z")
Oh and has “Tell Laura I Love Her?” been mentioned? I forget. (The late 50s early 60s seemed to be prime glurge fodder too.) ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/86 "2010-04-08T18:21:43Z")
“Coat of Many Colors” by Dolly Parton Sad-sack tale of being poor and downtrodden - with a moral lesson at the end! (And yet, to me, the tune is damn catchy) ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/87 "2010-04-08T19:26:24Z")
**Three Wooden Crosses** by Randy Travis. Hooker, preacher, farmer, bus crash… But, honestly, I think we need to exclude country music because it’s pretty much by definition glurge. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/88 "2010-04-08T22:03:28Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > I would like to mention Chuck Berry’s "[Memphis, Tennessee".](http://www.lyricsdepot.com/chuck-berry/memphis-tennessee.html) > > If you read it as intended, it’s glurgey. If you read it with a more cynical eye, it’s pretty sick. Wait, wait, how was this intended to be read? Because I’m having trouble seeing it as anything other than “Chuck does **Cesario** ”. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/89 "2010-04-08T22:07:11Z")
I think that, as intended, the girl is _supposed_ to be his daughter, who his Evil Ex has stolen away from him &c. But yeah. Still pretty creepy. ---
**Author:** ![etc\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90ced4/32.png) [@etc\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etc_1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/90 "2010-04-09T23:47:00Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > _I’ve Never Been To Me_, all about whorin’ in the Greece isles and makin it with the preacher man. But surprisingly less glurgy when camped up by a transvestite a la “The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert”. I would think many of the listed songs would benefit from this sort of treatment. ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/91 "2010-04-10T01:22:08Z")
I came in to complain about Seasons in the Sun But, since thats taken, i nominate Coward of the County. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/92 "2010-04-10T02:25:19Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > … “Last Kiss,” originally made popular by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers in 1964, was another car crash song. … > [@](#): > > … “Last Kiss” caught the attention of record promoter Sonley Roush. Roush brought the song to a group that he managed, J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers, with the idea of having them cover the song. The song was recorded in a tense four-hour session and led to a disagreement leading to the departure of the lead guitarist, Sid Holmes. On a concert trip to Ohio the band’s car collided with a truck, killing Roush and severely injuring Wilson. In 1964, J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers had the first real commercial success with the song. The cover was released in June 1964 and reached the Top 10 in October. It eventually reached number 2 on the Top 40 pop charts, and also earned the band a gold record. …[RIGHT][CITE](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_Kiss)[/RIGHT] and now you know the rest of the story! CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![alw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a6a055/32.png) [@alw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alw)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/93 "2020-07-28T04:51:21Z")
No, the one about Shannon the dog who died is way glurgier than all those. Shannon is gone I heard She’s drifting out to sea She always loved to swim away Maybe she’ll find an island With a shaded tree Just like the one in our back yard … ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/94 "2020-07-28T05:20:01Z")
I see no one has mentioned “Which Way You Goin’ Billy?” by The Poppy Family. This is the earlier Terry Jacks contribution to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/95 "2020-07-28T06:43:48Z")
Christmas songs- Scarlet Ribbons and The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot And if you go back even further, how about [The Volunteer Organist](https://youtu.be/0el5yvoxDss) or [Give Me A Ticket To Heaven](https://youtu.be/vx7YW6m48rE) ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/96 "2020-07-28T07:23:56Z")
[Mill Valley](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-YaWE0zu-c) by Miss Abrams and the Strawberry Point Fourth Grade Class made it into Billboard Hot 100. Mill Valley is in the San Francisco Bay Area, so it got extra airplay there. One time is too many to hear this treacle, but I endured it hundreds of times. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/97 "2020-07-28T09:21:38Z")
Little Green by Joni Mitchell. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/98 "2020-07-28T09:38:53Z")
Kinda weird that it takes ten YEARS for anyone to bring up [I.O.U.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ayUJy3fHcYM), by Jimmy Dean. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/99 "2020-07-28T10:06:10Z")
> [@alw](#): > > No, the one about Shannon the dog who died is way glurgier than all those. > Shannon is gone I heard > She’s drifting out to sea > She always loved to swim away > Maybe she’ll find an island > With a shaded tree > Just like the one in our back yard … > [@kevlaw](#): > > I came in to complain about Seasons in the Sun > But, since thats taken, i nominate Coward of the County. For a glurgy song about a dog try side B of the Seasons in the Sun 45. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2_pX1-IxRBY/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AHeA4AC6AKKAgwIABABGGQgZShKMA8=&rs=AOn4CLBTwjBynKxRou48Y-Q_yYFrxcyLAg "Put the bone in") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_pX1-IxRBY) ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068/100 "2020-07-28T11:08:12Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I don’t think there can be a glurgier song than Red Sovine’s _Teddy Bear_ . > > It must have been specifically engineered to evoke the maximum glurge response. Not familiar with this, so I just read the lyrics. Holy cow, it’s like a parody! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/glurgiest-songs/534068.md?page=6)