# Go ahead, creatively insult me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317 "2002-06-21T18:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2002, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/41 "2002-06-24T21:12:21Z")
Trying to find anything good about you is like trying to shove butter up a porcupine’s ass with a red hot poker. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/42 "2002-06-24T23:38:58Z")
(only applicable when insulting women) (warning, it’s crude) I’m going to kick you in the cunt so hard that I’ll wear you like a snowshoe ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/43 "2002-06-25T00:28:02Z")
No insult I could give you could surpass the one Nature gave you first. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/44 "2002-06-25T03:53:59Z")
You’re so fat, when you bust through the wall people yell “Hey, Kool-Aid!!” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/45 "2002-06-25T05:40:00Z")
I heard you once butled a monkey. And liked it. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/46 "2002-06-25T05:55:50Z")
If you and my ass were in a beauty contest, the crowds would jump to their feet and shout “Hooray for the one-eyed man!” ---
**Author:** ![Dances\_With\_Caterpillars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Dances\_With\_Caterpillars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dances_With_Caterpillars)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/47 "2002-06-25T06:12:07Z")
You are a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d_ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh_t. (Thank you, Clark Griswold ;)) ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/48 "2002-06-25T13:51:24Z")
I wonder what you would be like if you had gotten enough oxygen at birth. And the winner… You live in Georgia…that’s insult enough ---
**Author:** ![EggNogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@EggNogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EggNogg)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/49 "2002-06-25T14:32:42Z")
I think you need to get your neuromuscular junctions checked out, just incase they don’t exist. egg ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/50 "2002-06-25T14:41:09Z")
watch it **ultress**. Besides, red clay mud is a lot easier than tar to wash off one’s heels. 😃 **Mullinator** you’re so ugly, your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you. How’d you get that huge wart on your neck…oh wait…that’s your face. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/51 "2002-06-25T15:17:24Z")
(APOLOGY in advance - I ripped this insult off of someone’s sig line here, and I’ve been using it RAMPANTLY ever since. I would gladly credit them if I could remember who they are, and I wouldn’t normally re-post something like that, except it’s soooo perfect for this thread. So, whoever it was, I pay homage to you by posting the following insult) \*\* You couldn’t find your ass with both hands, a map, a compass, ass-finding radar, and “The Complete Idiots Guide to Finding Your Own Ass”! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/52 "2002-06-25T15:22:02Z")
And this is the best you people can do? I ask for creative insults and a chance to clear the dreariness that rots in your minds from you banal existence, and all I get are some half-hearted, limp attempts to send a warning shot across the bow of my ego. ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/53 "2002-06-25T15:31:07Z")
**Metalhead** - you’re so unoriginal. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/54 "2002-06-25T15:35:09Z")
Of course, I ripped it from a post made by **Legomancer** , so I’m just as derivative. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/55 "2002-06-25T15:52:12Z")
Hey, Mully, what do you do on Father’s Day? Send a card to all fourteen suspects? Hey, Mully, I heard you visited the zoo and they made you show ID on the way out. Hey, Mully, if I had a dollar for everytime you did something right, I’d have to get a second job to get out of debt. Hey, Mully, is it true that whenever you lay down at the beach, stray cats scratch sand at you? Hey, Mully, I heard you’re so bad with the ladies, you get rejected by 900 numbers. Hey, Mully, you’re so ignorant, Cecil Adams is waving a white flag. ---
**Author:** ![Plavacek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Plavacek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plavacek)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/56 "2002-06-26T01:12:31Z")
This has to be done. Can’t be helped. \ You fight like a dairy farmer. Soon you’ll be wearing my sword like a shish-kebob. I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur! You’re no match for my brains, you poor fool. You make me want to puke. You have the manners of a beggar. There are no words for how disgusting you are. Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? I’ve spoken with apes more polite than you etc.etc.etc. \ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/57 "2002-06-27T23:01:27Z")
Mullinator has tremendous self-esteem…for no apparent reason. Yeah? Well, your momma’s boots have instructions written on the heel! You do a pretty good Spongebob Squarepants, for what that’s worth. Every male armadillo in Texas has your momma’s phone number. Two. Two boxes of rocks. He’s alive because bullets cost twenty-five cents each. What? You’re still alive? Five guys and two gals want to snuff you for free! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/58 "2002-06-28T09:15:33Z")
[Homer Simpson] You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine. [/Homer Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/59 "2002-06-28T15:22:11Z")
Darwin wrote your obituary. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317/60 "2002-06-28T17:43:26Z")
And it needs to be said. You, Mullinator, are so vain you’d even start a thread asking people to creatively insult you just to get attention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-ahead-creatively-insult-me/115317.md?page=4)