# Go fuck your mother again, you inbred car-keying motherfucking cocker spaniel fucker! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137 "2011-10-10T01:51:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/1 "2011-10-10T01:51:28Z")
What possesses people to do this? Keyed my car from front to back, making sure a repaint will have to cover both quarter panels and the door on the passenger side. I’d like to catch this motherfucker. I would beat the living (and dead) shit out of him, take his wallet to get his address, and then wait… until some night when this fucker falls asleep watching his taped Jerry Springer episode, and spray paint a solid line around his trailer. What a fucking dick. I hope he gets American History X curb stomped by the next person he does this to. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/2 "2011-10-10T02:08:16Z")
I have to admire the title of your post. If it happened to me I don’t think I could have done better. Believe in Karma. What get’s into some people? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/3 "2011-10-10T02:10:30Z")
As someone who once had a cocker spaniel, I am not at all offended by the breed being incorporated in your colorful expletive. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/4 "2011-10-10T03:55:51Z")
You are good 🙂 Needs more info before getting in this pitting. Were you parked legally, or doing idiot stuff? ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/5 "2011-10-10T04:07:36Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > You are good 🙂 > > Needs more info before getting in this pitting. Were you parked legally, or doing idiot stuff? What the fuck difference does it make? You don’t key someone’s car for any reason. To do so is just assholish behavior on a level normally occupied by NCAA basketball coaches. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/6 "2011-10-10T04:11:38Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > You are good 🙂 > > Needs more info before getting in this pitting. Were you parked legally, or doing idiot stuff? Not illegal at all. In fact, I actually checked that to just make sure I hadn’t inadvertently parked in a handicapped spot (no) over any line (no, perfectly within the boundaries of my allotted space.) or too close to someone (no again. Both cars on either side of me were the same as when I went in to the store, so even if someone may have been blocked in, it wasn’t a factor. I left before they found out. What was I doing? Something extremely controversial. I took my daughter to the store to pick up a few items. It appeared the bastard keyed me because he felt like it…Well, up his ass with a red hot poker. I am still seething. What a fucking turd. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/7 "2011-10-10T04:18:32Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > As someone who once had a cocker spaniel\ That’s a bold statement in the context of this thread title. 😃 I think I know why your car was keyed, **Stink Fish Pot** - because some people are jerks. Big, fat, stinky, hairy jerks. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/8 "2011-10-10T04:19:27Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > What the fuck difference does it make? You don’t key someone’s car for any reason. To do so is just assholish behavior on a level normally occupied by NCAA basketball coaches. Thank you, **MsRobyn**. It’s a chicken shit thing to do under any circumstance. But I was happy to review my actions in case \*\*\*someone \*\*\*could point out what a dick I was and was surprised that I was angry… You never know what we might learn about our fellow dopers. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/9 "2011-10-10T04:22:09Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > What the fuck difference does it make? You don’t key someone’s car for any reason. To do so is just assholish behavior on a level normally occupied by NCAA basketball coaches. What if somebody drives their stretch Hummer with after-market whistle-tip directly into a pile of adorable puppies, slowly crushing them to death, then, in a fit of rage, slices open his gas tank and throws down a lit match, destroying the half-dead puppies once and for all in a fiery inferno of flaming death and steel? Also, he’s a rabid Bon Jovi fan. Is it OK to key his car then? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/10 "2011-10-10T04:24:01Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > What the fuck difference does it make? You don’t key someone’s car for any reason. To do so is just assholish behavior on a level normally occupied by NCAA basketball coaches. I don’t key cars. I have been blocked in by assholes in the past. I carry my keys on my belt, so if I accidently scratch their cars while trying to get to my car, oh well. To the OP, I’m sorry that happened. Its possible that you can buff it out. If you can see silver, call your insurance company. Rust will happen if the asshole dug deep enough to get to the metal. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/11 "2011-10-10T04:24:39Z")
so does he fuck cocker spaniels _and_ his mother, or is his mother a cocker spaniel? And if his mother’s a cocker spaniel, how does he have opposable thumbs to grasp the key? So it must be the first one. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/12 "2011-10-10T04:27:14Z")
What kind of car is it? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/13 "2011-10-10T04:28:34Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I think I know why your car was keyed, **Stink Fish Pot** - because some people are jerks. Big, fat, stinky, hairy jerks. You are correct. It amazes me that some random person could invade my life by causing thousands of dollars of damage to my vehicle and somehow think it was funny, ok or somehow acceptable. I think for punishment, his asshole should be superglued and then sewn shut. And then, he should be fed a steady diet of prunes and paint chips until he explodes. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/14 "2011-10-10T04:35:29Z")
Aw, man–I recently re-watched _Pulp Fiction_, so naturally I’m thinking of [this scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VO48Vr4KIc8). ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/15 "2011-10-10T06:42:11Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > What kind of car is it? HMMMMMM! Good question! ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/16 "2011-10-10T06:43:06Z")
I have a feeling it was a teenager. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/17 "2011-10-10T06:47:05Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Aw, man–I recently re-watched _Pulp Fiction_, so naturally I’m thinking of [this scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VO48Vr4KIc8). I think this warrants a “NSFW” mention 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/18 "2011-10-10T06:56:03Z")
I saw a lady keying two cars the other day. They were parked at the curb in front of a restaurant, and she seemed to be with the restaurant? I’m not sure why she would do that, though… Were you parked in front of a Thai restaurant in the east San Gabriel Valley? ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/19 "2011-10-10T07:55:39Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I saw a lady keying two cars the other day. They were parked at the curb in front of a restaurant, and she seemed to be with the restaurant? > > I’m not sure why she would do that, though.. > > Were you parked in front of a Thai restaurant in the east San Gabriel Valley? Yes, that was me. After driving my two cars to that restaurant, I believe I offended the female Thai chef when, apparently, there was a miscommunication when I ordered my giant noodle roll to be slathered liberally with Phú\* Qu\*\*ốc \*\*sauce. \* ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/20 "2011-10-10T14:01:53Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > What kind of car is it? This is yet another episode of “who the fuck cares what kind of car it was?” What does it matter if he drives a 1963 El Dorado with whaleskin hubcaps and actual baby seal eyes for headlights? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137.md?page=2)