# Go fuck your mother again, you inbred car-keying motherfucking cocker spaniel fucker! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137 "2011-10-10T01:51:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/21 "2011-10-10T14:35:40Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > What if somebody drives their stretch Hummer with after-market whistle-tip directly into a pile of adorable puppies, slowly crushing them to death, then, in a fit of rage, slices open his gas tank and throws down a lit match, destroying the half-dead puppies once and for all in a fiery inferno of flaming death and steel? Also, he’s a rabid Bon Jovi fan. > > Is it OK to key his car then? No. If he were a Winger fan, however… ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/22 "2011-10-10T14:39:27Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > This is yet another episode of “who the fuck cares what kind of car it was?” What does it matter if he drives a 1963 El Dorado with whaleskin hubcaps and actual baby seal eyes for headlights? And the optional all leather cow interior. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/23 "2011-10-10T15:25:13Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > And the optional all leather cow interior. As a total hijack, I think a road trip with John Wayne, Sam Peckinpah, John Cassavetes, Lee Marvin, and a case of whiskey sounds like pretty much the ideal recreational endeavor. ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/24 "2011-10-10T15:37:58Z")
So how does having a scratch on one your car negatively effect your life? Save your money and don’t bother to fix it. It’ll make it that much easier to accept the next inevitable ding. It sucks you were the target of an act of random asshole, but that is life. (I’ll admit I have a view of cars that is contrary to many. I don’t see them as status symbols, rather, ways to get me from A to B. My first car was given to me by my uncle, and he walked outside with me and gave the car a decent kicking, putting a small dent in the side. He smiled and said “now when you back into a pole and dent the shit out of your bumper, you don’t have to feel bad for ruining your car. I already did it for you.” True enough, I ended beating the hell out of that car over time, and I feel like that first kick made it easier to accept its inevitable destruction.) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/25 "2011-10-10T16:02:32Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > Not illegal at all. In fact, I actually checked that to just make sure I hadn’t inadvertently parked in a handicapped spot (no) over any line (no, perfectly within the boundaries of my allotted space.) or too close to someone (no again. Both cars on either side of me were the same as when I went in to the store, so even if someone may have been blocked in, it wasn’t a factor. I left before they found out. > > What was I doing? Something extremely controversial. I took my daughter to the store to pick up a few items. It appeared the bastard keyed me because he felt like it…Well, up his ass with a red hot poker. > > I am still seething. > > What a fucking turd. Where you buying your daughter an abortion? I hear total strangers get really riled at that. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/26 "2011-10-10T17:26:15Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I have a feeling it was a teenager. I wish that were true. I posted a few weeks ago about sitting in a meeting room waiting for a delayed vendor to arrive and listening in on a conversation between a couple of senior managers and one them talking about how he keyed the car next to his because it was parked incorrectly. People suck\* no matter how old they are. \*While some individuals do not suck the percentage is low enough that the statement people suck is essentially always true. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/27 "2011-10-10T17:34:57Z")
Maybe it was someone who knows you. Have you done anything evil in every day life recently? ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/28 "2011-10-10T17:35:37Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > As a total hijack, I think a road trip with John Wayne, Sam Peckinpah, John Cassavetes, Lee Marvin, and a case of whiskey sounds like pretty much the ideal recreational endeavor. And we’ll cruise around in that fucker at 110MPH getting ONE mile per gallon eating quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers. And when we’re done sucking down those grease ball burgers we’re chuck the containers right out the side YEAH! Wow, I hadn’t rubbed to those two brain cells together for quite awhile. Thanks for bringing it up! Bottom line, Stinkfishpot? The guy’s an asshole ee oh E O E O! ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/29 "2011-10-10T18:08:21Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > So how does having a scratch on one your car negatively effect your life? Well, if the scratch is deep enough to get to the metal, it can rather violently shorten the lifespan of the panel by allowing a foothold for rust to form if you don’t fix it. If it’s a newish car that you intend to keep for a while, that’s a major negative effect. I mean, I dunno about you, but I don’t buy cars as status symbols, I buy cars I expect to last me for 10+ years. Any damage that might shorten the lifespan of the car is unacceptable. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/30 "2011-10-10T20:59:18Z")
I have a confession to make, but first you have to PROMISE not to be mad… ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/31 "2011-10-10T21:10:07Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > So how does having a scratch on one your car negatively effect your life? > > Save your money and don’t bother to fix it. It’ll make it that much easier to accept the next inevitable ding. It sucks you were the target of an act of random asshole, but that is life. > > (I’ll admit I have a view of cars that is contrary to many. I don’t see them as status symbols, rather, ways to get me from A to B. My first car was given to me by my uncle, and he walked outside with me and gave the car a decent kicking, putting a small dent in the side. He smiled and said “now when you back into a pole and dent the shit out of your bumper, you don’t have to feel bad for ruining your car. I already did it for you.” True enough, I ended beating the hell out of that car over time, and I feel like that first kick made it easier to accept its inevitable destruction.) Look, just because you are comfortable with an older dinged up car does not mean you should think less of someone who values their newer nicer car. They worked to earn the money to pay for it and they would probably like keep it nice. It’s not always a status symbol just because it’s new and clean - it’s just new and clean and what they wanted to buy, that’s all. What you are engaging in is reverse snobbery - just as bad as traditional snobbery. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/32 "2011-10-10T22:45:20Z")
Cut anyone off in traffic, or otherwise piss someone off? Honk your horn at anyone? Have any potentially controversial/partisan type bumper stickers? Have a car that would particularly elicit jealousy/envy? ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/33 "2011-10-10T23:01:48Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I have a confession to make, but first you have to PROMISE not to be mad… Bing, I thought he told you to go fuck your mother? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/34 "2011-10-10T23:05:39Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Bing, I thought he told you to go fuck your mother? One of the many activities that vandals enjoy in between vandalizing. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/35 "2011-10-10T23:40:12Z")
> [@Tibbytoes](#): > > Yes, that was me. After driving my two cars to that restaurant, I believe I offended the female Thai chef when, apparently, there was a miscommunication when I ordered my giant noodle roll to be slathered liberally with Phú\* Qu\*\*ốc \*\*sauce. \* I think she was probably more offended by you using the Vietnamese name. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/36 "2011-10-11T01:55:30Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Cut anyone off in traffic, or otherwise piss someone off? Honk your horn at anyone? Have any potentially controversial/partisan type bumper stickers? Have a car that would particularly elicit jealousy/envy? Been buying fruity little drinks and giving billiards lessons to floozies down at the roadhouse? Check if the seatcovers have CU carved in them… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/37 "2011-10-11T02:09:28Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > This is yet another episode of “who the fuck cares what kind of car it was?” I do. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/38 "2011-10-11T02:18:04Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > Look, just because you are comfortable with an older dinged up car does not mean you should think less of someone who values their newer nicer car. They worked to earn the money to pay for it and they would probably like keep it nice. It’s not always a status symbol just because it’s new and clean - it’s just new and clean and what they wanted to buy, that’s all. What you are engaging in is reverse snobbery - just as bad as traditional snobbery. While that’s true enough, cars will get dinged. They just will; it happens. It’s probably not a good idea to have one’s self-worth dependent on driving around in a car without dings. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/39 "2011-10-11T02:30:56Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > What was I doing? Something extremely controversial. I took my daughter to the store to pick up a few items. It appeared the bastard keyed me because he felt like it…Well, up his ass with a red hot poker. Admit it. You were in the 8 items or less lane with 9 ITEMS!!! and an express lane vigilante found out. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/40 "2011-10-11T02:34:08Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I saw a lady keying two cars the other day. They were parked at the curb in front of a restaurant, and she seemed to be with the restaurant? Did you take cell phone photos of her doing it and make a report? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137.md?page=3)