# Go fuck your mother again, you inbred car-keying motherfucking cocker spaniel fucker! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137 "2011-10-10T01:51:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/41 "2011-10-11T04:01:45Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > While that’s true enough, cars will get dinged. They just will; it happens. It’s probably not a good idea to have one’s self-worth dependent on driving around in a car without dings. My self worth is based on not being an asshole, what is yours based on? ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/42 "2011-10-11T04:46:25Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Did you take cell phone photos of her doing it and make a report? No - I was on foot, and didn’t realize what she was doing until I got near her, at which time she stood and went into the restaurant. We made eye contact as she was going in. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/43 "2011-10-11T14:52:50Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Admit it. You were in the 8 items or less lane with 9 ITEMS!!! and an express lane vigilante found out. Man I hate the Express lane vigilante. Just because your billionaire parents where killed in front of you, while queueing in a 8 items or less lane, doesn’t mean you get to be a dick about it. ---
**Author:** ![FrancisCastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/44 "2011-10-11T14:59:58Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Cut anyone off in traffic, or otherwise piss someone off? Honk your horn at anyone? Have any potentially controversial/partisan type bumper stickers? Have a car that would particularly elicit jealousy/envy? My ex-husband cut a guy off in traffic. The guy followed us to the store, and when we went inside, he slashed all four of our truck’s tires! Too bad for him it was witnessed by a lady in the parking lot who reported it to the police. The act was also recorded by the store’s security cameras. (I’m not sure if there was any mother fucking involved…if so, it wasn’t caught on camera.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/45 "2011-10-11T15:22:41Z")
I used to have the bumper sticker “Stupid people shouldn’t breed” on my car. It never got keyed (not that I’m complaining). I think people define “stupid” as those less intelligent then themselves, so they were not offended. Once you reach the level including complete illiteracy, it no longer matters. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/46 "2011-10-11T15:57:16Z")
> [@FrancisCastle](#): > > The act was also recorded by the store’s security cameras. Man, that’s evolution in action! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/47 "2011-10-11T17:44:25Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Admit it. You were in the 8 items or less lane with 9 ITEMS!!! and an express lane vigilante found out. Justice served, vigilante style! ---
**Author:** ![Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hero_From_Sector_7G)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/48 "2011-10-11T18:32:55Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > Look, just because you are comfortable with an older dinged up car does not mean you should think less of someone who values their newer nicer car. They worked to earn the money to pay for it and they would probably like keep it nice. It’s not always a status symbol just because it’s new and clean - it’s just new and clean and what they wanted to buy, that’s all. What you are engaging in is reverse snobbery - just as bad as traditional snobbery. I was just trying to be helpful. But to you I say: Fight entropy by polishing your mustang with your buttcheeks. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/49 "2011-10-11T18:44:29Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > I was just trying to be helpful. But to you I say: Fight entropy by polishing your mustang with your buttcheeks. Sorry, I did not realize I was responding to someone who is functionally insane. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/50 "2011-10-11T19:19:58Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Admit it. You were in the 8 items or less lane with 9 ITEMS!!! and an express lane vigilante found out. But…but…they were two cans of the same food! ---
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/51 "2011-10-11T20:02:55Z")
OP, I feel your pain. Some years back I got one of the painters at the Ford dealership I worked at to paint my 1966 Mustang, which was my first car and daily driver at the time. I went to the trouble to remove all the exterior trim so it would be painted “under” and not “around” because I wanted a quality job and a nice looking car. After it was painted, I drove it back to my apartment complex (only a mile away) and carefully parked it. I was planning on driving it home the next day and finish installing all the emblems and trim on it. Came out the next morning and someone had keyed the drivers side from the back bumper to the front headlamp. Yea, it’s just a car, but I loved that car and wanted to fix it up really nice. Turns out, I didn’t even have the pleasure of having a nice paint job on it for 24 hours before some asshole had to spoil it for me. I think doing something like this warrants justifiable homicide. I am only partially kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/52 "2011-10-12T03:29:12Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > What possesses people to do this? Keyed my car from front to back, making sure a repaint will have to cover both quarter panels and the door on the passenger side. Do you park like an asshole? Blare loud music out of your car? Honk your horn a lot? In my experience, very few people get their cars keyed at random. Not saying it never happens, but more likely the keyed car’s owner did something to piss someone off. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/53 "2011-10-12T04:48:33Z")
> [@Snow\_Pea](#): > > Do you park like an asshole? Blare loud music out of your car? Honk your horn a lot? > > In my experience, very few people get their cars keyed at random. Not saying it never happens, but more likely the keyed car’s owner did something to piss someone off. Adding. Got a shitty little yappy dog? Talk loudly on your cell phone in the parking lot for long periods? Have a car alarm that goes off for a FUCKING HOUR if a leaf falls on it? It’s the pit. Fuck it, you probably deserved it. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/54 "2011-10-12T11:59:29Z")
> [@Snow\_Pea](#): > > Do you park like an asshole? Blare loud music out of your car? Honk your horn a lot? > > In my experience, very few people get their cars keyed at random. Not saying it never happens, but more likely the keyed car’s owner did something to piss someone off. Bullshit. I’ve had my car egged by some little shit who had nothing more constructive to do with his time. I have no idea who did it or why, so I assume he was just bored. If the keyer was pissed off, he needs anger management, because there is never any good reason to vandalize someone else’s property. In this regard, I agree with Mr. Vega and Mr. Winnfield. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/55 "2011-10-12T12:08:25Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > In this regard, I agree with Mr. Vega and Mr. Winnfield. How do you feel about foot massages? ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/56 "2011-10-12T15:02:37Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Bullshit. I’ve had my car egged by some little shit who had nothing more constructive to do with his time. I have no idea who did it or why, so I assume he was just bored. > > If the keyer was pissed off, he needs anger management, because there is never any good reason to vandalize someone else’s property. In this regard, I agree with Mr. Vega and Mr. Winnfield. Just because YOU don’t know why he did it doesn’t mean he didn’t have a reason. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/57 "2011-10-12T15:20:31Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > How do you feel about foot massages? Heh. Love 'em, as long as Airman doesn’t throw the massager off a balcony. 😃 > [@Snow\_Pea](#): > > Just because YOU don’t know why he did it doesn’t mean he didn’t have a reason. I don’t give a flying fuck what his “reason” may have been. In fact, since you apparently think it’s OK to do so, let me spell it out for you so you can understand it: Y-O-U D-O N-O-T H-A-V-E T-H-E R-I-G-H-T T-O V-A-N-D-A-L-I-Z-E S-O-M-E-O-N-E-'-S P-R-O-P-E-R-T-Y! E-V-E-R! Got it now, asshole? FTR, I’m still pissed about the egging because it took forever to get rid of all the egg out of the windshield-washer system, and because I’m damn lucky it didn’t get into the air vent or the paint. The woman across the street, whose car was egged at the same time, wasn’t so lucky. You can still see where the egg splattered because of the damage to the paint. And this unfortunate incident was last fucking spring! If I catch the little shit who did this (not that I know who did it, but it’s a nice fantasy), I’ll happily stuff each individual egg up his ass, followed by the carton and maybe a hen or two. ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/58 "2011-10-12T15:36:19Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Y-O-U D-O N-O-T H-A-V-E T-H-E R-I-G-H-T T-O V-A-N-D-A-L-I-Z-E S-O-M-E-O-N-E-'-S P-R-O-P-E-R-T-Y! E-V-E-R! Got it now, asshole?. Get yer panties unbunched and calm down. I never said it was ok or that anyone had a “right” to vandalize anything. I’m simply pointing out that people usually DO have a reason for their actions. Just because you don’t know what the reasons are doesn’t mean the vandal didn’t have them. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/59 "2011-10-12T17:58:01Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > You are correct. It amazes me that some random person could invade my life by causing thousands of dollars of damage to my vehicle and somehow think it was funny, ok or somehow acceptable. I think it’s amazing that someone would be that upset over a paint job that they would even fantasize about a curb stomp. It’s just stuff, man, and it still works. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137/60 "2011-10-12T18:34:02Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > I think it’s amazing that someone would be that upset over a paint job that they would even fantasize about a curb stomp. > > It’s just stuff, man, and it still works. Yeah, but it’s HIS stuff, and he should be the one deciding how nice or how crapped up it is, not some little prick with too much time on his hands. ETA: **Snow Pea** , you don’t seem to understand how vandalism works - there doesn’t have to be any reason for it. See the aforementioned little pricks with too much time on their hands. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-fuck-your-mother-again-you-inbred-car-keying-motherfucking-cocker-spaniel-fucker/599137.md?page=4)