# Go give a dog a blow job, you semen encrusted fuckhat. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 20, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781 "2003-01-20T12:12:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AmbushBug](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ambushbug/32/4600_2.png) [@AmbushBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmbushBug)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/81 "2003-01-22T03:39:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mirror Image egamI rorriM \* > \*\*What do you call a woman with one leg? > > Eileen > \*\* Her Japanese friend? Irene. Where to they work? IHOP. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/82 "2003-01-22T03:41:52Z")
what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinocerous? elephino… why are fish so thin? because they eat fish ---
**Author:** ![jujuju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@jujuju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jujuju)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/83 "2003-01-22T04:20:17Z")
an hydrogen atom walks into a bar and sits in a stool, having a beer. soon after, another hydrogen atom enters the bar very fast, hits the bar stool of the first atom, and knocks him to the floor, and disappears out the door. the first atom picks himself up and looks at the bartender and says ‘hey, that guy just stole my electron!’ the bartender says ‘really, are you sure?’ the atom answers ‘i’m positive!!’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/84 "2003-01-22T06:54:48Z")
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/85 "2003-01-22T06:58:53Z")
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/86 "2003-01-22T11:04:34Z")
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs… …in the bushes? Russell …on the wall? Art …on stage? Mike …in a wallet? Bill ---
**Author:** ![Janx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Janx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janx)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/87 "2003-01-22T16:38:02Z")
\*\* Skogcat \*\* wrote > [@](#): > > What do you call a deer with no eyes? > > No idea. > > What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? > > Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no balls? Still no fucking idea. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/88 "2003-01-22T17:20:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monalisa9 \* > \*\*How mant surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? > > The Fish. \*\* See, the way I heard it was: Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine tools. And as long as I’m here: Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, but who knows how they got in there! ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/89 "2003-01-23T03:49:55Z")
A cursucker? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AbsolutelyStark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/278dde/32.png) [@AbsolutelyStark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbsolutelyStark)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/90 "2003-01-23T04:11:04Z")
What do you call a leper in a bathtub? Stew Oh, great, now I’m telling jokes too… ---
**Author:** ![AbsolutelyStark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/278dde/32.png) [@AbsolutelyStark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbsolutelyStark)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/91 "2003-01-23T04:13:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Janx \* > What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no balls? > > Still no fucking idea. \*\* G rated version: What do you call a deer with no eyes and legs that’s on fire? Still no flaming idea. ---
**Author:** ![Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Lathe\_of\_Heaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lathe_of_Heaven)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/92 "2003-01-23T04:58:10Z")
A neutron walks into a bar, orders a beer. Bartender sets it down in front of him. “Great!” says the neutron, “How much do I owe you?” “For you,” says the bartender, “No charge.” ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/93 "2003-01-23T05:07:06Z")
A huge black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. “Wow, that’s pretty cool! Where’d you get him?” inquired the bartender. “Africa,” the parrot replied. ---
**Author:** ![thi6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@thi6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thi6)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/94 "2003-01-23T07:45:56Z")
What do you call two boys with no arms or legs on your window? Curt ‘n’ Rod ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weak\_Force](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9dc877/32.png) [@The\_Weak\_Force](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weak_Force)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/95 "2003-01-23T08:57:44Z")
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “gee, it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” The other muffin says, “AAAAAAAAH!! A talking muffin!” ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/96 "2003-01-23T19:04:38Z")
Regarding the title of this thread: _Nick-nack, paddy-wack, give a dog a **blow** _. (orange you glad I didn’t say banana?) ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781/97 "2003-01-23T19:29:35Z")
I know a joke about the Jonestown Tragedy, but the punch line is too long. A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to set him up with 10 shots of his best scotch. The bartender does, and the man starts pounding them down as soon as they are poured. The bartender says “Is everything okay?” The man gulps down the last shot and says “You would have done that, too, if you had what I have.” The bartender says, “Oh my god, what do you have?” The man says “50 cents” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-give-a-dog-a-blow-job-you-semen-encrusted-fuckhat/149781.md?page=4)