# Go-to insults **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 4, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323 "2017-01-04T18:02:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/1 "2017-01-04T18:02:06Z")
Go-to insults: You’ve probably got a few that you carry in your pocket. Ones that are ready at a moment’s notice whenever the occasion begs. Ones that have at least a smattering of style and rise a half step above simply shouting an obscenity in a deserving soul’s face. What are your favorites and for what occasions? - Interrupters: “Excuse me, this is an A - B conversation. C’s got nothing the F\*\*\* to do with it” ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/2 "2017-01-04T18:11:40Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > Go-to insults: You’ve probably got a few that you carry in your pocket. Ones that are ready at a moment’s notice whenever the occasion begs. Ones that have at least a smattering of style and rise a half step above simply shouting an obscenity in a deserving soul’s face. What are your favorites and for what occasions? > > - Interrupters: > “Excuse me, this is an A - B conversation. C’s got nothing the F\*\*\* to do with it” I use this one with “so C your way out of it.” ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/3 "2017-01-04T18:12:20Z")
You know, [insert target’s name here], between you and me, we know everything there is to know in the world. You know everything except for the fact that you are an insufferable jerk, and I know THAT! ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/4 "2017-01-04T18:18:38Z")
Someone sees fit to interject themselves in a debate/discussion you’re having with another and takes their side - “So you’re gonna co-sign that bullshit?” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/5 "2017-01-04T18:21:51Z")
Do you know who _else_ has Go-to insults? your mom. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/6 "2017-01-04T18:34:17Z")
“If your parents ever get around to getting married, make sure I get an invite!” ---
**Author:** ![davey77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@davey77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davey77)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/7 "2017-01-04T18:41:45Z")
So’s yer old man!.. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/8 "2017-01-04T18:57:13Z")
Bite a fart. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/9 "2017-01-04T19:09:31Z")
Go take a long walk on a short pier ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/10 "2017-01-04T19:16:46Z")
OFF a short pier ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/11 "2017-01-04T19:19:56Z")
“If I wanted uninformed opinion, I’d watch Fox.” ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/12 "2017-01-04T19:27:23Z")
_Your face_ is a go-to insult! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/13 "2017-01-04T19:34:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > “If I wanted uninformed opinion, I’d watch Fox.” Sick burn. I like: “Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/14 "2017-01-04T19:51:13Z")
In an effort to minimize the amount of obscenities I have been known to spew, I choose to call and offensive individual a _cheese log_. There’s no real logic or history to the term - I just used it once and liked the way it sounded and felt. It works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/15 "2017-01-04T20:06:14Z")
It must take you an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/16 "2017-01-04T20:08:14Z")
My brother and I make fun of each other’s mom quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/17 "2017-01-04T20:22:36Z")
“You were a nice man (or woman) when you were young.” ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/18 "2017-01-04T20:24:37Z")
Neckbeard hipster ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/19 "2017-01-04T20:26:00Z")
Swarthy uncut heathen ---
**Author:** ![Orionizer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orionizer/32/4442_2.png) [@Orionizer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orionizer)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/20 "2017-01-04T20:33:09Z")
Had a coworker (G) use this on another coworker (J) several years ago. (J) always interjected about virtually any subject being discussed and always had a better answer, better equipment, better everything… (G) Discussing something about kayaking (J) “Hey, I have this great kayak! It’s much better than the one you’re using… Blah blah blah…” (G) [Turning to the other coworker he was talking with] “Looks like we’ve got us a sexual intellectual” (J) “What’s that?” (G) “A Fucking Knowitall” Classic! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323.md?page=2)