# Go-to insults

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 4, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323 "2017-01-04T18:02:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/41 "2017-01-06T19:07:16Z")

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> [@digs](#):
>
> I remember sitting patiently while a student made up an ignorant and completely wrong answer.  
> I _might_ have shaken my head in despair, saying:
> 
> “And _you_ were the fastest sperm…”

[Walter’s](https://youtu.be/PCnl2E8ewzA?t=76) got this one for you!

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**Author:** ![VanLandry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/eb9ed0/32.png) [@VanLandry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanLandry)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/42 "2017-01-06T19:22:00Z")

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The Jerk Store Called!

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**Author:** ![Jumpbass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jumpbass/32/147_2.png) [@Jumpbass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jumpbass)\
**Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/43 "2017-01-06T20:04:48Z")

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> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> “Bastidge. Farging icehole.”
> 
> From the film _Johnny Dangerously_; one of the characters was a gangster who badly mispronounced English (particularly obscenities). Insulting but funny, and plausibly not actually naughty words.

“Corksucker.” I still have those in my repertoire.  
Replies to heckling:

I guess every village has one.

If we had seventeen more of him, we’d have a golf course.

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**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\
**Post date:** [January 7, 2017, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/go-to-insults/776323/44 "2017-01-07T04:17:17Z")

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> [@Anne\_Elk](#):
>
> “Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!”

This.

and

“You have a keen grasp of the obvious.”

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