# Goat Porn **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657 "2000-08-09T02:14:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/21 "2000-08-09T18:13:53Z")
Scylla–where the hell do you live? Some perverted alternate universe version of Hooterville??? BTW, did you get rid of the groundhogs? Or am I thinking of someone else? ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/22 "2000-08-09T18:18:29Z")
I was really nervous to open a thread entitled _Goat Porn_, but honestly, I’m glad I did. Well, not glad exactly, but you know. This was seriously funny stuff. I can’t stop thinking about that poor goat with a bale of hay on his head. [hijack] When I was a kid, my parents had a goat to graze our huge backyard. It was evil incarnated. It’d go after anything and seriously try to kill it. My parents decided to deal with his temper somehow, and after basically exhausting the poor creature they were able to see that its horns had curled and were growing _into its head_. No wonder he was pissed. They brought the vet over who sedated him and sawed the horns off. The animal might have lost some of its pride, but also the migraines. From that day, he was the sweetest thing. I used to ride around on him every now and then. I was never molested. I think. Maaaaah. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/23 "2000-08-09T18:32:01Z")
chickens don’t have hinders or cooters. they, like all birds, have cloacas. Cloacal sex. Sounds dirty to me. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/24 "2000-08-09T18:50:10Z")
**soda** , you are a sick individual. **Scylla** paints a picture of a goat suffocating a chicken and encasing it in polyurethane and you’re thinking about a bale of hay. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/25 "2000-08-09T19:27:56Z")
Scylla, that is one of the funniest damn stories I have ever read! You must save it for your memoirs. ---
**Author:** ![lunapark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/278dde/32.png) [@lunapark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lunapark)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/26 "2000-08-10T20:05:05Z")
I’m giving this a _bump_ it was so damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/27 "2000-08-16T00:13:20Z")
\*\*re; Chicken rape \*\* You know, when I see \*smothered chicken \* on a restaurant menu in the future, I for one, will never ever look at it the same way again. \*Little voice peering over the edge of the table, " Just what is it smothered in, Mommy?" \* ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2000, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/28 "2000-08-16T02:48:45Z")
So now your horse is pining away with no companion? The goat idea was actually a pretty good one, but if you try this again, remember to ask for a _disbudded wether_. Disbudding involves making sure that the horns don’t grow (becoming dangerous). A wether, having no ornamental body parts, is both gentler and far less odiferous than a buck. (I haven’t actually met a person who owned goats who referred to billies or nannies–they always seem to be called bucks and does.) ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/29 "2001-01-05T00:15:28Z")
What does goatplasm look like? ---
**Author:** ![Davidbw1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7993a0/32.png) [@Davidbw1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davidbw1)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/30 "2001-01-05T00:44:23Z")
that is sick!!! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/31 "2001-01-05T01:17:07Z")
**Scylla** , you had me laughing so hard, my wife was complaining about the racket! > [@](#): > > It was then that pity stayed my hand. > > “It’s a pity I lost the rubber band,” I thought. I see you’ve read _Bored of the Rings_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/32 "2001-01-05T02:13:29Z")
**Scylla** , that’s the funniest damn thing I’ve read in ages! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/33 "2001-01-05T02:17:36Z")
Chronolicht: Mix two parts Elmer’s Glue, one part water. Stir slightly. Eject from goat. RTFirefly: I am of course conversant with **all** the great classics. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/34 "2001-01-05T03:15:20Z")
Darn. I saw the thread title and thought it would be something I might enjoy. Guess not… 🙂 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **1) I have no idea how big a goats penis is. I’m not much of an expert on chicken vagina either.** :looking down: It’s pretty damn huge… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/35 "2001-01-05T03:21:21Z")
**Scylla** , absolutely the funniest thing that I have ever read. Bar none. Without a doubt. ---
**Author:** ![sulawesi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sulawesi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sulawesi)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/36 "2001-01-05T03:27:39Z")
Wow, the funniest, and yet most disturbing post I’ve read yet. Great job, **Scylla**!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/37 "2001-01-05T05:13:25Z")
Scylla: Glad to see that you draw the line at goats… ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/38 "2001-01-05T05:24:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* > \*\*Darn. I saw the thread title and thought it would be something I might enjoy. Guess not… 🙂 > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > > **1) I have no idea how big a goats penis is. I’m not much of an expert on chicken vagina either.** > > :looking down: > > It’s pretty damn huge… :rolleyes: \*\* **c\_goat** , you have a huge chicken vagina? That’s just wrong, man. It’s wrong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/39 "2001-01-05T05:56:04Z")
Am I the only person on earth who has seen _Fun on the Farm_? If “Chicken Lover,” who by genetic default rates as a human, could pull it off, twice, Pirate at least had a fighting chance. Scylla, I must thank you. You’ve made my nightmare. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657/40 "2001-01-05T06:03:18Z")
**Brain:** Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering? **Pinky:** Um… I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won’t wear the nylons? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goat-porn/28657.md?page=3)