# God Bless America is not the fucking national anthem! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856 "2011-10-07T02:40:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/241 "2011-10-27T22:04:36Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Remember when I was 15, I was in a one month stay in an American family in South Dakota. We got to a rodeo show, they started to play the hymn, and I saw everyone rising up and touching their breasts. That felt weird. Really, really weird. > Join the Pod People or be destroyed. Pretty sure I’ve referenced that episode before on this board, but you haven’t been glared at for real until you’ve burst with involuntary laughter at the over-the-top ridiculousness that is a showing of _The Patriot_. Deep in Colorado. On opening day, fourth of fucking July. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/242 "2011-10-27T22:09:10Z")
It’s interesting that TSSB should warble on about “hirelings and slaves”, and by “interesting” I mean “rank hypocrisy” what with there not being any slaves in Britain or her colonies by 1812, but rather a lot of them in the USA even if they weren’t doing any fighting. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/243 "2011-10-28T04:38:34Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Anyone know the lyrics to the SDMB’s anthem? > [@Fish\_Cheer](#): > > I’m sure you can work them out for yourself. [Listen closely.](http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers) I thought it was “Rio” by Duran Duran? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/244 "2011-10-28T10:19:45Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I remember a short story (Clarke? Asimov? one of those two) where knowledge of the third verse was enough to prove someone was a Soviet spy, since no \*normal \*American citizen would bother to memorize the third verse of the anthem. Only an (over-) prepared spy would know that … I bet it was Asimov. He not only knew all the verses, he’d sing the whole thing for guests at parties. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/245 "2011-10-28T11:35:56Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Pretty sure I’ve referenced that episode before on this board, but you haven’t been glared at for real until you’ve burst with involuntary laughter at the over-the-top ridiculousness that is a showing of _The Patriot_. Deep in Colorado. On opening day, fourth of fucking July. Reminds me of a comedian who talks about laughing out loud in the theater when one of the babies dies during March of the Penguins. I imagine both would draw some interesting glares. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/246 "2011-10-28T13:14:52Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Remember when I was 15, I was in a one month stay in an American family in South Dakota. We got to a rodeo show, they started to play the hymn, and I saw everyone rising up and touching their breasts. That felt weird. Really, really weird. Similarly, I still remember my first day in an American school, when the principal got on the PA and said something and all the other students got up and started mumbling. Turns out it was the Pledge of Allegiance. It felt like nothing so much as Chinese students saluting a picture of Mao or something. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/247 "2011-10-28T14:22:48Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Reminds me of a comedian who talks about laughing out loud in the theater when one of the babies dies during March of the Penguins. I imagine both would draw some interesting glares. My best friend in high school was a nervous laugher. She laughed at the sad parts in movies; the sadder the movie, the more high-pitched the laughter. It made movie-watching interesting! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/248 "2011-10-28T15:06:32Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > YES YES YES YES. > > “Brave” is set to ONE FUCKING NOTE. You are a professional fucking singer; you can read sheet music. And they’re really not showing off how awesome their voices are; they’re disguising how inadequate their voices are. ---
**Author:** ![drewber565](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@drewber565](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewber565)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/249 "2012-06-16T02:40:55Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > You don’t need to remove your fucking hat. You don’t need to put your hand over your heart. You don’t need to stand still. You are allowed to move through the stands and through the aisles, head for the beer stand, head for the restroom. (Not necessarily in that order.) > > For crying out loud, I never thought there would be anything that would make me nostalgic for “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”, but this stupid and idiotic obsession with treating “God Bless America” as if it means anything has just about done it. Thanks for that! It pisses me off, too, to see clueless people. The funny thing is, half of them wouldn’t know what to do during the Star Spangled Banner. Our national anthem is a beautiful song, btw!! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/250 "2012-06-16T03:20:37Z")
The thing I hate about “God Bless America” (and forgive me, Irving, for I am about to sin) is that it’s a boring, plodding, prosaic, unexciting, bleaaaah song. And Kate Smith heaving her overample bosoms to scream out the lyrics doesn’t help it one bit. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/251 "2012-06-16T03:45:20Z")
> [@drewber565](#): > > Thanks for that! It pisses me off, too, to see clueless people. The funny thing is, half of them wouldn’t know what to do during the Star Spangled Banner. > > Our national anthem is a beautiful song, btw!! We have a tradition around here of trying to be understanding to first time posters. Certainly it’s quite reasonable to assume you’ve got no idea that this isn’t a current conversation, and that posting to a thread that died a natural death over six months ago. Having said that, I am about to make an exception because you’re so fucked in the head. First off - I want you to show me the first fucking person who doesn’t _know_ what to do during the Star-Spangled Banner? I know several people who make active choices not to perform the normal patriotic obeisances that are considered normal, for various reasons from the religious, to the philosophical, to the political. Yanno what, shithead - the freedom to make those sorts of choices is one of the things that I love about this country. Stop fucking whining when someone doesn’t do the patriotism dance the way you want it done. Grow up, get some maturity, and celebrate that we don’t have jack-booted thugs actually in control (for all that some idiots in the public, and Congress) want that changed. This is a good thing. Secondly, you have to be dicked in the nob to say, with a straight face that the Star Spangled Banner is “a beautiful song.” I will admit the lyrics make for a stunning poem, and the resistance of Fort McHenry was a stunning upset. But as a piece of music, let along a song for people to sing to, it’s a goddamned disaster. Barely anyone can sing it properly. Hell, barely anyone can sing it _well_, even after the take the high parts down an octave or two. It’s got lousy rythm, and just over-all stinks. (BTW, if you dare to come back to me with some BS about people serving in our military so I can disrespect the national anthem I will hand you your fucking head.) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/252 "2012-06-16T05:38:48Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > No, melody had been invented; the tune was written by drunks. For those not in the know, this is not an insult. This is as far as we know literally true. From Frank it may _also_ be an insult. > [@phouka](#): > > So while the lyrics make a decent, if pedestrian, poem, and the melody is insanely difficult for those without vocal training, at least it got played in whorehouses to break up fights between the johns. > > Not every country can say that, you know. Australia probably could have done, if they hadn’t made their anthem “Advance Australia Fair.” > [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > The actual Anthem is perfect, though, precisely because it’s hard to sing. And it’s basically a drinking song. C’mon, that’s perfect Americana: > > (1) Create a song during a terrifying moment of uncertainty and courage. > (2) Set it to a goddamn drinking song. > (3) Keep singing it even if you can’t possibly hit the notes right. > > You don’t get more American than that. That’s _profound_, right there. Ignoble and awesome all at once. > God Bless America, on the other hand, is perfectly fine… for children. And that’s about it. A mediocre tune with cheap lyrics and no worry. There’s no fear, or courage, or difficulty, and it’s worth no more than you put into it. Wow, that was a really good defense of _The Star-Spangled Banner_. I appreciate all that. I can’t get too sympathetic for the original context, though; the War of 1812 was still, um, how do I put this? > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Why you gotta hate on Canada? Technically, Canada is mainly on the North American continent. So even if the Blue Jays played Montreal in the Series, it would be an American series in European eyes. (And if that bothers you, read some of humon’s Scandinavia and the World comics. Canada is referred to as “America’s hat,” but at least it’s recognized; apparently Scandinavians barely even know South America exists, let alone that there are multiple nation-states down there.) > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > eta: I think they’re making a new dollar coin with Jesus riding a stegosaurus on it[…] > > pps: Is that post-posthumously or ex-posthumously, or something? Not sure how that would work… We can’t put Jesus on the money, because the secularists and patriots would point out he wasn’t an American, and the people who are most attached to him don’t think he’s dead, and you have to be dead to be on the money in this country. Also he’s a foreign monarch. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/253 "2012-06-16T05:45:42Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > You know, I really feel cheated here. Normally a comment about having an image of Jesus mowing down Arabs and commies with a machine gun while riding a stegosaurus printed on US currency would get at least _some_ kind of response, but **colonial** has completely derailed my hijack with his nonsensical insistence on addressing the OP in his fucking oh-so-special manner. I didn’t realize this was a zombie thread; I did partially respond to that post–oh, wait, I ignored the, “mowing down Arabs and commies with a machine gun,” part. Um, yeah, very bad taste, I clipped it out of the quote box as distracting. > [@](#): > > Lots of songs are great art, I’m not standing for all of them. And insisting that everyone acknowledge that what you think is great as art is just stupid. I happen to think “Waving my Dick in the Wind” is a really good song, but I don’t feel the need to compel an entire country to fucking stand and “salute” when it comes on the PA. Bah! When I conquer this country, schoolchildren will be made to stand for [“Pharaoh”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lujfwlzW4IQ) by Church, possibly on their heads! (This might be for Eristic reasons.) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/254 "2012-06-16T06:26:40Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > The thing I hate about “God Bless America” (and forgive me, Irving, for I am about to sin) is that it’s a boring, plodding, prosaic, unexciting, bleaaaah song. And Kate Smith heaving her overample bosoms to scream out the lyrics doesn’t help it one bit. For me, it’s association with the Flyers has forever tainted it. Kate Smith as well. (I believe she used to mime a punch at the end when she’d perform it there) I will say the girl who sang it at the Winter Classic didn’t do that bad of a job, though. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/255 "2012-06-16T06:30:13Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I remember a short story (Clarke? Asimov? one of those two) where knowledge of the third verse was enough to prove someone was a Soviet spy, since no \*normal \*American citizen would bother to memorize the third verse of the anthem. Only an (over-) prepared spy would know that … Asimov knew all the verses in real life and would sing them at people. :we need a lightbulb smiley: So Clarke probably wrote the story to tweak him. Who was it linked to Nouvelle Vague upthread? I suggest that the nations of the world toss out their tired old “march to death” anthems and commission new ones a bit like, say, these: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/xYH0zhll0H0/maxresdefault.jpg "[OSS 5.1] Nouvelle Vague - Blister in the Sun") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYH0zhll0H0) https://www.youtube.com/embed/516ZUtOeWMg?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/256 "2012-06-16T13:37:46Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Asimov knew all the verses in real life and would sing them at people. > > :we need a lightbulb smiley: > > So Clarke probably wrote the story to tweak him. I seem to remember that it was in a Black Widowers story, actually. Asimov wasn’t above tweaking himself at times. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/257 "2012-06-16T15:55:52Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Why you gotta hate on Canada? Because Canada is North America’s Belgium. There, I said it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/258 "2012-06-16T16:13:38Z")
Once I helped two obviously lost tourists who were standing on a corner in DC poring over a map. We chatted a bit, and because they had pretty strong accents I asked where they were from. They answered at the same time. “We’re from France.” “We’re from Belgium.” As I looked at them in confusion, the first one hung his head in shame and said, “Yes, we’re from Belgium.” ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/259 "2012-06-16T16:42:28Z")
> [@Justice](#): > > It is poignant but fundamental that the flag protects those who hold it in contempt I hate it when that damn flag swoops down and debilitates my enemies before retreating with a wink. Why did the US think a sentient flag was a good idea anyway? > [@ZPG Zealot](#): > > For that reason alone, it should remain our national anthem. Bad news: prostitutes get [pregnant](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17656179). ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856/260 "2012-06-16T17:23:32Z")
I get really ticked off at the people who use “America the Beautiful” or “God Bless America” as the national anthem. Yes, they are both nice songs. Yes, they are both patriotic. BUT–they AREN’T the national anthem, you ignorant idiots! If you insist on using some song as the unofficial anthem, then you’ve got two–and **only** two–choices. And I want you to listen closely, because I’m going to say this only once. You can use “My Country 'Tis of Thee” or you can use “Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean.” Anybody who uses any other song is going to be publicly ridiculed and forced to repeat high school American History. Oh–and by the way–anybody, no matter how famous or influential, who insists on singing the national anthem in any way OTHER than simply and respectfully, to the best of their ability, is going to be severely beaten. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-bless-america-is-not-the-fucking-national-anthem/598856.md?page=14)