# God DAMN Papercuts!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844 "2002-10-25T15:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/1 "2002-10-25T15:49:00Z")
Son of a bitch! Little stinging bastards! I have just lacerated myself with a manilla folder. This does not make me happy. In fact it makes me ANGRY! Grrr!!! This is the face I make when I papercut (or foldercut, as in this case) myself: :mad: That’s my mad face. I hope you liked it. Kn(very, very angry!)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/2 "2002-10-25T16:00:34Z")
Preach it! I got me a papercut this morning, and it hurts like a… well, all out of proportion to the size of the injury. And it was from a **book** , too. I thought books were my friends!:mad: ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/3 "2002-10-25T16:09:18Z")
Neosporin with Pain Relief is your friend. I carry a tube in my purse because, well, I’m a wimp and papercuts hurt like the dickens (whatever they are). Kn\*ckers, is your name from a _Monty Python_ sketch? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/4 "2002-10-25T19:25:01Z")
Better than Neosporin would be hand-sanitizing gel. You can get a nasty blood-borne infection from a paper cut (health care workers are required to report them same as accidental needle-sticks). ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/5 "2002-10-25T20:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\* > Kn_ckers, is your name from a _Monty Python_ sketch? \*\* Damn straight, and congratulations, \*\* Juanita \*\* , you’re the first one to get it! papercut update: Now I have TWO! How unfair! Too much papershuffling today, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/6 "2002-10-25T20:38:54Z")
File a work comp claim!! 😉 Syl 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/7 "2002-10-25T20:51:55Z")
I am a Printer, I am use to them, try a Metal Cut - cutting your finger on a metal plate for the press - OUCH. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/8 "2002-10-25T23:45:50Z")
I have five paper cutes on the thumb and forefinger of my right hand. Feel my pain. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/9 "2002-10-26T00:16:19Z")
Why **DO** paper cuts hurt so damned bad? I’ve cut myself with bow saws, pocketknives, and a hatchet[sup]1[/sup] and none of them stung as badly as a simple little paper cut. **WHY,** Cecil, **WHY?** [sup][1][/sup] No, not all at once. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/10 "2002-10-26T00:43:43Z")
> [@](#): > > I have just lacerated myself with a manilla folder. The worst paper cut I ever got was from a manila envelope. I slid a bunch of stuff into it, flipped it up so I could lick the flap, and as I ran the flap across my tongue, the opening of the envelope sliced across my _chin._ Holy flaming fruit bat’s _asshole_, that hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/11 "2002-10-26T03:45:27Z")
Oh god, nothing hurts as much as a papercut. Those things sting so BAD!!! A couple of times, I’ve gotten them in the webs of my fingers-you know, the little spot between your fingers? OUCH!!! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/12 "2002-10-26T04:41:30Z")
You’d love my job – you think papercuts are bad, try slicing into your finger with the sharp bevel of a freshly cut matboard. Or glass shards. Or a collection of razor blades in various sizes and shapes. Once I got stitches. ---
**Author:** ![Tuco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tuco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuco)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/13 "2002-10-26T08:09:28Z")
Think yourself lucky, I used to dry towels for a living - we put them in metal wheely containers these are groin height they picked up a LOT of static electricity drying at 100 degrees C they gave me electric shocks I am a man OUCH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/14 "2002-10-27T22:45:35Z")
I work at Kinko’s, where paper cuts are an occupational hazard. I am so careful, because I know the likelihood of getting cut, but every now and then, one gets me. Motherfuck, do they hurt. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/15 "2002-10-27T23:10:58Z")
**apotheosis** , I asked the same question in GQ a while back. The general consensus was that, unlike razors or other blades, paper has acids and germs on it that really irritate the nerves after penetrating, even a relatively small cut. Works for me. And all you folks who work with Lots O’ Paper[sup]TM[/sup] for a living, you can reduce the likelihood of paper cuts if you follow my advice. I used to work in the editorial department of a children’s book publisher. Lots of paper to handle. Thus, a higher likelihood of paper cuts, which I received in abundance. But I noticed that my hands, especially my fingers, seemed to dry out more than they did before I handled so much paper. I think the paper itself drew some of the natural oils from my skin and the dryness contributed to the paper cut probablility factor (PCPF). I started using ordinary hand moisturizing cream in the morning and in the afternoon, and I got many fewer paper cuts (PCPF - X). And my hands were kissable soft, too. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/16 "2002-10-27T23:22:55Z")
May I add that, working my way through college in assorted factories, where I spent many hours of quality time hefting cardboard boxes, I learned that it is perfectly possible to give oneself a cardboard cut. It is not unlike a paper cut, only deeper, longer, and more likely to be full of horrible germs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/17 "2002-10-27T23:36:19Z")
Papercuts, file folder cuts, staple-sticking-out-a-little-bit-and-ripping-my-thumb cuts, and cuticles pushed back to my knuckles and bleeding are all hazards of my filing clerk job. And all the paper I handle all day _does_ dry them out badly. My hands are just lovely, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/18 "2002-10-27T23:51:50Z")
I had a folder cut once during a very bad day. First I got the folder cut. Then I found out I’d been running the wrong commercial for a client all month. Then my belt dropped in the toilet while I was going to the bathroom and I peed on it. That was a banner day. ---
**Author:** ![SparrowHawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/19 "2002-10-28T00:51:51Z")
Is anybody willing to sacrifice for science and test the GQ theory by papercutting him or herself with autoclaved, acid-free archival paper? Yeah, me neither. Plus, I don’t have an autoclave handy. But it would be interesting to know the results. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844/20 "2002-10-28T02:53:31Z")
I have a friend who managed to get a papercut on one of her eyes. Yup. She told us this story while we were eating, which was a really thoughtful touch on her part. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-papercuts/133844.md?page=2)