# God Damn Robitussin Commercial, If I were dicator of the World children would be bann **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 18, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633 "2004-04-18T04:17:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fluffball86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@fluffball86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluffball86)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/1 "2004-04-18T04:17:06Z")
If I were dictator of the world Children would be banned from television until they learn to talk w/o a speach impediment. I hate that fucking Robitussin commercial, it goes something like this (typed phonetically) AK= annoying kid AK:When somebody ssshneezes you say blesssh you right /whining tone/ Mom: Right AK:What do you say when somebody cawffshs Mom: Robitussin. Every time I hear that commercial (thankfully we are almost out of Cold season) I grates on my nerves, If I were that kid’s mom, I would give her an Overdose of Robitussin, Ha that will teach you for talking too much. Why on earth do Commercial makers think we like to hear small children? The sound of a child’s voice is probably the most annoying thing in the world. They should pull that commercial from the air and use it to torture Al Quada operatives, I guarentee you a week of that mother fucking commercial would be enough to break anybody. To any commercial makers out there: DO NOT INCLUDE CHILDREN IN YOUR ADS UNLESS THEY CAN TALK PROPERLY. Or so help me god, when I become Belevolent Dictator of the World, you will be buried alive with your feet sticking up out of the ground. (Thank you Dante’s Inferno). I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. AK:Mom … ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/2 "2004-04-18T05:28:37Z")
Finally, someone said what needed to be said! Not only is the kid incredibly annoying, but the mom talks in the most akwardly-affected voice ever. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/3 "2004-04-18T06:16:23Z")
I don’t think I’ve seen that one. The one I really hate is the one for the “unspillable” cough medicine with the precious little blonde girl who knocks the spoon out of her mother’s hand. Little brat. Then later, when she has the “unspillable” cough medicine, she’s all sweet and shit. What a load. BTW, it’s speech. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/4 "2004-04-18T06:44:54Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > The one I really hate is the one for the “unspillable” cough medicine with the precious little blonde girl who knocks the spoon out of her mother’s hand. Little brat. I hate all commercials that portray kids as imperious horrors. Food ads are notorious for that. (I cut a _little_ slack for cranky sick kids, having been one myself long ago. Not that my mom would have excused it as total license, mind. She was very good at brisk sympathy.) Ads featuring kids refusing meals, with blunt “adorable” commentary, abrade my last nerve. Same goes for cute destruction, aimed at selling expensive products to mitigate the damage. Kids can be basically _great_. They don’t require–or want–expensive consumer solutions for their existence. Just had a rant moment goin’ there. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/5 "2004-04-18T10:51:56Z")
Gee, every time I see that commercial I think, “Awww, what a nice little girl!”. Robitussin! ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/6 "2004-04-18T12:54:09Z")
I hate such commercials myself. But, thank heaven parents let their toddlers record their answering machine greetings. Nothing thrills me more than to hear: “HIIII!!Thish is Kelsey\* Pwaese weave us a methage.BYYYYEEEE!!!” The only way it can be improved is if the tyke lists every member of the family for whom we migh leave a “methage” including Boots and Fido. \*I was sure her name was Chelsea ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/7 "2004-04-18T13:47:44Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > The one I really hate is the one for the “unspillable” cough medicine with the precious little blonde girl who knocks the spoon out of her mother’s hand. Little brat. Then later, when she has the “unspillable” cough medicine, she’s all sweet and shit. What a load. Not only that, but if I’d been the age the girl in the ad looks to be and knocked a spoon of medicine out of my mom’s hand, I’d probably have gotten a hand across the backside for it. And deservedly so. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/8 "2004-04-18T16:41:26Z")
Anybody else old enough to remember, “More Park’s Sausages, Mom!”? I think after a while they changed it to add a whiney, “Please.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/9 "2004-04-18T18:00:11Z")
Whew, I thought it was just me and my curmudgeonly hatred of all things child that made me dislike commercials with kids so much. I keep thinking “If I had tried that as a kid, I would have only tried it once.” Kids grabbing stuff out of parents’ hands, kids backtalking parents, kids wrecking stuff willy-nilly, parents throwing their hands up in helplessness - I don’t recall any of this being kosher in my childhood. I certainly don’t recall my parents throwing their hands up in helplessness being one of their responses to my shenanigans. (As for young kids on the answering machines, letting them answer the phone is even more annoying. If they’re too young to write down a message reliably, they’re too young to answer the phone.) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/10 "2004-04-18T18:18:49Z")
These little hoodlums don’t need cough medicine, they need **Castor Oil!!** **Mark Twain’s Notions Of Children’s Medicine.** > [@](#): > > I have an idea that I could invent some little remedies that would stir up a commotion among these women, if I chose to try. I always had a good general notion of physic, I believe. It is one of my natural gifts, too, for I have never studied a single day under a regular physician. I will jot down a few items here, just to see how likely I am to succeed. > > In the matter of measles, the idea is, to bring it out - bring it to the surface. Take the child and fill it up with saffron tea. Add something to make the patient sleep - say a table-spoonful of arsenic. Don’t rock it - it will sleep anyhow. > > As far as brain fever is concerned: This is a very dangerous disease, and must be treated with decision and dispatch. In every case where it has proved fatal, the sufferer invariably perished. You must strike at the root of the distemper. Remove the brains; and then - Well, that will be sufficient - that will answer - just remove the brains. This remedy has never been known to fail. It was originated by the lamented J. W. Macbeth, Thane of Cawdor, Scotland, who refers to it thus: “Time was, that when the brains were out, the man would die; but, under different circumstances, I think not; and, all things being equal, I believe you, my boy.” Those were his last words. > > Concerning worms: Administer a catfish three times a week. Keep the room very quiet; the fish won’t bite if there is the least noise. > > When you come to fits, take no chances on fits. If the child has them bad, soak it in a barrel of rain-water over night, or a good article of vinegar. If this does not put an end to its troubles, soak it a week. You can’t soak a child too much when it has fits. > > In cases wherein an infant stammers, remove the under-jaw. In proof of the efficacy of this treatment, I append the following certificate, voluntarily forwarded to me by Mr. Zeb. Leavenworth, of St. Louis, Mo.: > > "ST. LOUIS, May 26,1863. > > “MR. MARK TWAIN - DEAR SIR: - Under Providence, I am beholden to you for the salvation of my Johnny. For a matter of three years, that suffering child stuttered to that degree that it was a pain and a sorrow to me to hear him stagger over the sacred name of ‘p-p-p-pap’. It troubled me so that I neglected my business; I refused food; I took no pride in my dress, and my hair actually began to fall off. I could not rest; I could not sleep. Morning, noon, and night, I did nothing but moan pitifully, and murmur to myself: 'Hell’s fire! what am I going to do about my Johnny?” But in a blessed hour you appeared unto me like an angel from the skies; and without hope of reward, revealed your sovereign remedy - and that very day, I sawed off my Johnny’s under-jaw. May Heaven bless you, noble Sir. It afforded instant relief; and my Johnny has never stammered since. I honestly believe he never will again. As to disfigurement, he does seem to look sorter ornery and hog-mouthed, but I am too grateful in having got him effectually saved from that dreadful stuttering, to make much account of small matters. Heaven speed you in your holy work of healing the afflictions of humanity. And if my poor testimony can he of any service to you, do with it as you think will result in the greatest good to our fellow-creatures. Once more, Heaven bless you. > “Zeb. Leavenworth.” > > Now, that has such a plausible ring about it, that I can hardly keep from believing it myself. I consider it a very fair success. > > Regarding Cramps. Take your offspring - let the same be warm and dry at the time - and immerse it in a commodious soup-tureen filled with the best quality of camphene. Place it over a slow fire, and add reasonable quantities of pepper, mustard, horse-radish, saltpetre, strychnine, blue vitriol, aqua fortis, a quart of flour, and eight or ten fresh eggs, stirring it from time to time, to keep up a healthy reaction. Let it simmer fifteen minutes. When your child is done, set the tureen off, and allow the infallible remedy to cool. If this does not confer an entire insensibility to cramps, you must lose no time, for the case is desperate. Take your offspring, and parboil it. The most vindictive cramps cannot survive this treatment; neither can the subject, unless it is endowed with an iron constitution. It is an extreme measure, and I always dislike to resort to it. I never parboil a child until everything else has failed to bring about the desired end. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/11 "2004-04-18T19:00:13Z")
Can we add that no kid should be dressed up like a mini-adult? Everytime I see the ad with [this](http://www.evenflo.com/) kid I get freaked out. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/12 "2004-04-18T19:15:41Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > I hate such commercials myself. But, thank heaven parents let their toddlers record their answering machine greetings. Nothing thrills me more than to hear: > > “HIIII!!Thish is Kelsey\* Pwaese weave us a methage.BYYYYEEEE!!!” The only way it can be improved is if the tyke lists every member of the family for whom we migh leave a “methage” including Boots and Fido. > > \*I was sure her name was Chelsea George Carlin did a routine about this one. ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/13 "2004-04-18T19:39:40Z")
I’m not annoyed by children in commercials, at least any more than I am by the adults. I am bothered by poor behavior not addressed by the parents. That’s what bothers me so much about the little girl hitting her mom’s hand away, in the cough medicine commercial. Another one along these lines, is for some product I am not able to remember, where a kid is out on the front lawn spraying passersby with a hose. It cuts to the parents standing at the front window watching, but doing nothing about it. I realize the baby-talk can be annoying, but find it’s about on par with the adults having orgasms over shampoo, dancing like an episode of Fame because the chicken (or other food product) is _that_ good, and plugging up boat leaks with tampons. ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/14 "2004-04-19T00:54:20Z")
Can we ban Welch’s from doing this, too? “It’s too good to gulp.” Agg! The kid delivers his lines with the emphasis in all the wrong places and it’s pretty obvious where they edited things because the kid couldn’t do a steady take. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/15 "2004-04-19T01:01:12Z")
There is some fucking paper towel commercial that makes me just about puke. A chubby kid is eating ribs or chicken wings and is covered in barbecue sauce. A mountain of paper towels builds until it obscures his face. Just skeeves me out somehow. The Welches grape juice kids are always the worse though. I have wished many a violent death upon the makers of those commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/16 "2004-04-19T01:05:03Z")
> [@easy e](#): > > The kid delivers his lines with the emphasis in all the wrong places and it’s pretty obvious where they edited things because the kid couldn’t do a steady take. Kid was drunk. Anyone ever see the French television ad w/ the little boy throwing a tantrum in the store? It was for Zazoo condoms. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/17 "2004-04-19T01:16:55Z")
I suppose we are to keep our kids home till they can pronounce their Ss and Rs properly as well huh? Anyone with a stammer should be shot in the head till dead, any child over the age of three that pisses themselves in public should be kept at home or made to wear diapers. Heaven forbid we parents not have the perfect child and take said defective child into public or place them on the television for public display. We may offend some fuckwit like you. I give you my heartiest fuck you and a quadruple finger flip. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/18 "2004-04-19T01:34:46Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > These little hoodlums don’t need cough medicine, they need **Castor Oil!!** Good. You can clean up after the kid. Robin ---
**Author:** ![HumptysHamhole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f0a364/32.png) [@HumptysHamhole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HumptysHamhole)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/19 "2004-04-19T01:38:09Z")
I can’t stand the commercial for some brand of paper towels in which the little girl spills a large bottle of blue soda and the mom saves the day by sopping it up with X-brand. After this the little girl then says, “Mom, we’re out of soda!,” in an annoying voice. No shit we are out of soda - you spilled it all on the damn floor. You get tap water for the rest of the week. Most important is that I can’t remember what brand of paper towels they were advertising – great concept Madison Ave. I also hate it when companies think that showing an infant’s naked ass in their ad will somehow make me want to purhase their product – I don’t find infant nudity so compellingly cute that I am drawn to purchase your shitty product! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633/20 "2004-04-19T01:38:11Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Anyone ever see the French television ad w/ the little boy throwing a tantrum in the store? It was for Zazoo condoms. 😃 That one right there is my number one reason for not having kids. Best ad ever. Here’s a [Link](http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/1571/Zazoo_Cannes.mpg) for anyone who hasn’t seen it. And a quadruple finger flip? You’re giving us four? I think you’re confused, it’s “High five”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-damn-robitussin-commercial-if-i-were-dicator-of-the-world-children-would-be-bann/240633.md?page=2)