# God: "Don't Kill." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019 "2011-09-12T04:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/1 "2011-09-12T04:33:18Z")
[From _The Onion._](http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rule,222/) Hey, I can’t argue with someone I don’t believe in. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/2 "2011-09-12T06:13:58Z")
You don’t believe in the Onion? Heretic! It’s National Lampoon that was the false god - the Onion is real, you blasphemer! ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/3 "2011-09-12T14:00:36Z")
That was one of _The Onion’s_ finest moments. I always suspected that a strain of incredulous fury at how screwed-up people are drove a lot of their humor. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/4 "2011-09-12T14:38:43Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/5 "2011-09-12T14:45:42Z")
I loved how God capitalizes first person pronouns. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/6 "2011-09-12T15:09:46Z")
A funny idea, but like many _Onion_ articles, it’s about twice as long as it should be. They need some editors over there. Comedy rule #1: Get in, tell the joke, and get out. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/7 "2011-09-12T15:15:30Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > I always suspected that a strain of incredulous fury at how screwed-up people are drove a lot of their humor. [I agree.](http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-commemorates-911-by-toasting-stable-afghan-gove,21332/) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/8 "2011-09-12T16:38:31Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > A funny idea, but like many _Onion_ articles, it’s about twice as long as it should be. > They need some editors over there. Comedy rule #1: Get in, tell the joke, and get out. Yeah, but that piece had more to say than just a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/9 "2011-09-12T22:05:53Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Yeah, but that piece had more to say than just a joke. I don’t think it was funny at all. And I don’t mean that as a criticism. It was written in the close aftermath of the destruction of the Towers, and it was a simple, grief-stricken rant. It was in the FORM of a joke, but it could have been in the form of a villane just as easily. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/10 "2011-09-12T22:44:39Z")
I believe the writer of that Onion article was recently interviewed by Marc Maron on his WTF podcast. Interesting guy. He attempted suicide a while back by taking some huge amount of pills and washing it down with a bottle of whiskey. He expected to go to sleep and never wake up. Miraculously, he awoke over 24 hours later. The doctors had no explanation, as the amount of pills were more than enough to kill him a few times over. Interesting guy and great interview. Here we go: [Todd Hanson](http://wtfpod.libsyn.com/episode-190-todd-hanson) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-dont-kill/596019/11 "2011-09-13T14:58:53Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > The doctors had no explanation, as the amount of pills were more than enough to kill him a few times over. God still has plans for him down here.