# God for a day!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-for-a-day/511413>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 24, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-for-a-day/511413 "2009-09-24T20:38:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-for-a-day/511413/1 "2009-09-24T20:38:48Z")

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Inspired by [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=532689) thread.

The object is for you to pick a set of questions (or a couple of sets, if you feel like it, but I’d ask you to limit it to three sets of questions, max), and then make like you’re God and answer them.

Like this:

> [@You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/12):
>
> I’ll try again.
> 
> 1. Is there a purpose to life?
> 
> 2. If I go on living life like I have been, will I go to heaven after I die?
> 
> 3. Do you plan on intervening in human affairs to right wrongs, wipe away sorrow, and create Heaven on Earth?

> [@You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/15):
>
> OK, OK, Mr. Stickler for details I’ll change question 3 to
> 
> Do you ever plan to turn Earth into a paradise?
> 
> There, you happy now? 🙂

Answer#1: Yes. Now go find it.

Answer#2: _:checks little black book:_ You may not want to know the answer to that.

Answer#3: No. I _gave_ you monkeys a paradise, and then you screwed it up with your polluting ways. C’mon, I said, “Be Fruitful, And Multiply,” but you people are taking that to extremes. In short: you broke it, you own it. You want paradise on Earth? Make it yourself."

> [@You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/30):
>
> 1. Should I care what you think?
> 2. Is there anything I could do about it anyway?
> 3. Anybody want a peanut?

Answer#1: _:glowers, throws around some lightning:_  
Answer#2: Nope.  
Answer#3: Honey roast, or salted? Oh, who am I kidding? Gimme.

> [@You may ask God any three yes-or-no questions and have them answered. What do you ask?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-may-ask-god-any-three-yes-or-no-questions-and-have-them-answered-what-do-you-ask/510750/46):
>
> is there a higher purpose to all this?
> 
> want a beer?
> 
> can I have gills?

Answer#1: Yes. What? You want exposition now, too?  
Answer#2: Sure! \* :points finger, turns 1 into 6:\* Pretty neat, eh? Wanna split a sixer?  
Answer#3: Sure. Why not? _:snaps finger, turns **picker** into a fish:_