# God help you, you fucking racist shitbag. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094 "2014-04-01T16:27:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/1 "2014-04-01T16:27:02Z")
If I so much as see you near any car, let alone mine, with your “Vote for the American” bumper sticker, I will end your life without a second thought and move on with my day knowing the world is better than when you were still breathing, you racist, brain dead, shit eating fucktard. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/2 "2014-04-01T16:36:00Z")
Geez, I’m sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/3 "2014-04-01T16:40:00Z")
Maybe switch to decaf? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/4 "2014-04-01T16:46:12Z")
More context might help. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/5 "2014-04-01T16:47:09Z")
I’m guessing he apparently saw a (now outdated) bumper sticker from one of the two recent presidential elections and decided to take offense. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/6 "2014-04-01T16:48:50Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > If I so much as see you near any car, let alone mine, with your “Vote for the American” bumper sticker, I will end your life without a second thought and move on with my day knowing the world is better than when you were still breathing, you racist, brain dead, shit eating fucktard. :mad: The fact that you want to have a Non-American be the next President shows how much of a commie bastard you are and that you should be jailed for treason. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/7 "2014-04-01T16:52:53Z")
When I murder people because of a bumper sticker, I usually refrain from announcing it in advance of the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/8 "2014-04-01T16:55:46Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > When I murder people because of a bumper sticker, I usually refrain from announcing it in advance of the internet. Right. I mean sure we’ve all done it a time or two, but like farting in public it is kinda gauche to talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/9 "2014-04-01T16:57:27Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > When I murder people because of a bumper sticker, I usually refrain from announcing it in advance of the internet. I just put another stick figure on the driver’s side door. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/10 "2014-04-01T16:57:52Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > I’m guessing he apparently saw a (now outdated) bumper sticker from one of the two recent presidential elections and decided to take offense. Not “saw”, found it attached to my car. :mad: > [@Crotalus](#): > > When I murder people because of a bumper sticker, I usually refrain from announcing it in advance of the internet. I doubt this particular asshole spends much time reading boards aimed at fighting ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/11 "2014-04-01T17:09:00Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Not “saw”, found it attached to my car. :mad: Then I endorse this pitting, and will help you murder him. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/12 "2014-04-01T17:23:03Z")
Do you think the date today might have something to do with it? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/13 "2014-04-01T17:26:12Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Not “saw”, found it attached to my car. :mad: Do you have enough #9 bonesaws? Because you can never have enough when your disposing of a body. They dull faster than you might expect. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/14 "2014-04-01T17:26:35Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > Do you think the date today might have something to do with it? Good point – the OP should consider that the perpetrator might be a friend/relative who knows about his/her political opinions. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/15 "2014-04-01T17:28:33Z")
FUCKING HELL! I’ve been had! :smack: My wife just let me in on the joke. Happy April Fools’ Day to me. :o But I’m not one to make idle threats so now I guess I have to kill her. Shame, really. Things have been going so well all this time. ETA: ninja’d by **Esox Lucius** , et al. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/16 "2014-04-01T17:32:07Z")
Alright everybody. On three. One, two, [three.](http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/17 "2014-04-01T17:32:16Z")
Sounds like a good prank in concept, but actually vandalizing your property isn’t cool. Unless it was easy to remove. \*Then \*it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/18 "2014-04-01T17:33:31Z")
Also, the last update has changed this from a pit thread to something more MPSIMSy. Off it goes! ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/19 "2014-04-01T17:34:06Z")
I would like to thank the OP’s wife for providing the best joke of the day I’ve seen so far. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094/20 "2014-04-01T17:40:37Z")
The good news is, I have 364 days to plot my revenge. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-help-you-you-fucking-racist-shitbag/685094.md?page=2)