# God is HP stuff junk.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 22, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451 "2011-06-22T17:07:57Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/1 "2011-06-22T17:07:57Z")
Leo Laporte said it a couple of weeks ago, and I say it now. HP stuff is junk.
Laptop: Hard drive fails just weeks out of warranty. Replaced at my expense. Fan is now failing, making grinding noises. Now the optical drive is doa. Battery was never any good, but despite a massive recall, my particular battery seems not to be covered. Holds about five minutes worth of charge now. Fucking junk. Abject crap.
It is fucking sad. They used to make the best stuff on earth. There are still Laserjet 1’s in service. I still have my 32s RPN calculator.
Never buy HP.
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### Author:  [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/2 "2011-06-22T17:18:58Z")
It took me about 30 seconds to parse your subject line. At first I thought you were providing some kind of description of God.
Whatever. Fuck HP.
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### Author:  [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/3 "2011-06-22T17:19:47Z")
And here Nietzsche said he was dead. Your theory is much more interesting, albeit enigmatic…
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### Author:  [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/4 "2011-06-22T17:24:50Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> And here Nietzsche said he was dead. Your theory is much more interesting, albeit enigmatic…
+1
Seriously, Stan, when you’re wanting to use the word God as a profanity to begin a rhetorical sentence that contains a “be” verb as the second word, do please try to remember punctuation, mkay?
I also had the damnedest time parsing your subject line. Then I realized after reading your OP that what you actually meant was “God, is HP stuff JUNK!” or something thereabouts.
Kthanxbai.
\
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/5 "2011-06-22T17:28:36Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#):
>
> It took me about 30 seconds to parse your subject line. At first I thought you were providing some kind of description of God.
It **would** explain a lot about the Universe.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/6 "2011-06-22T17:31:00Z")
I’m the opposite. I’ve never had a problem. Over the years, I’ve switched most of the stuff around me over to HP. I currently sitting in an office with 3 HP computers and an HP laser printer. None of which have had any problems. The forth computer will be replaced with an HP as soon as it kicks the bucket (or I kick it’s bucket, I’m getting sick of it). I’ve tried a few other brands over the years, but I always seem to come back to HP.
I have an HP laptop at home that I like.
I have my parents on an HP computer at their house with an HP laser printer.
No hardware problems in quite a few years of running HP (consumer grade) equipment.
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### Author:  [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/7 "2011-06-22T17:39:41Z")
> [@Cyningablod](#):
>
> +1
>
> Seriously, Stan, when you’re wanting to use the word God as a profanity to begin a rhetorical sentence that contains a “be” verb as the second word, do please try to remember punctuation, mkay?
>
> I also had the damnedest time parsing your subject line. Then I realized after reading your OP that what you actually meant was “God, is HP stuff JUNK!” or something thereabouts.
>
> Kthanxbai.
>
> \
Took me about 5 seconds with a little bit of reasoning sprinkled into the mix.
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/8 "2011-06-22T17:40:20Z")
I have a couple of HP laptops and my PC at work is an HP. I haven’t had any problems with the computers themselves. My only beef with them so far is horrible customer service, even for non-technical issues. They sold me an extended warranty and then turned around and said my laptop wasn’t eligible. Trying to get my money back was such a hassle I finally gave up.
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### Author:  [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/9 "2011-06-22T17:45:55Z")
As for the actual OP, I haven’t had any issues with HP gear. I build my own desktops, so I can’t speak for those, but I’ve had two laptops from them and both are still kickin’. One is 5 years old and the other is 3 years old. The older one’s HDD died after 5 years but costed ~$50 to replace it.
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### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/10 "2011-06-22T17:48:41Z")
GOD is HP stuff JUNK!
God, is HP stuff junk?
God is HP! Stuff Junk!
Other possible interpretations:
Harry Potter is satanic!
Don’t get that Hydrogen Peroxide stuff on your junk!
God does not have enough hit points.
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### Author:  [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/11 "2011-06-22T17:49:48Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#):
>
> It took me about 30 seconds to parse your subject line. At first I thought you were providing some kind of description of God.
>
> Whatever. Fuck HP.
Well that would be easier if God is HP’s junk.
Sounds like you got a lemon Stan. I’ve definitely noticed quality declining in HP’s in the last several years but that is one special laptop
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### Author:  [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/12 "2011-06-22T18:55:21Z")
> [@Sailboat](#):
>
> GOD is HP stuff JUNK!
>
> God, is HP stuff junk?
>
> God is HP! Stuff Junk!
>
> Other possible interpretations:
>
> Harry Potter is satanic!
>
> Don’t get that Hydrogen Peroxide stuff on your junk!
>
> God does not have enough hit points.
God is H; P stuff, junk!
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### Author:  [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/13 "2011-06-22T19:09:39Z")
We currently have two HP printers set up, because the old workhorse that we thought might need to be replaced just hasn’t decided to die yet. It’s only going on thirteen years now. It is a little noisy lately, but the problem that made us think it was on its way out seems to have resolved itself.
We did set up the new one because we needed the scanner. So it’s getting the bulk of the work now. I plan to keep running the old one until it does totally die, though, because I hate the thought of losing the fairly new cartridges in it.
And a bit off topic, but the OP hit one of my recent hot buttons. Your HP laptop might be a piece of junk. It might be the Mondayest or Fridayest of laptops ever produced. But IT’S JUST ONE LAPTOP! IT’S NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE! JUST BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO YOU DOESN’T MEAN IT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY, EVERY TIME!!
Okay, I’ll calm down now.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/14 "2011-06-22T19:20:58Z")
HP is God’s junk, which explains the seamier side of evolution.
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### Author:  [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/15 "2011-06-22T19:24:06Z")
HP printers are okay, but my experience with HP computers and non-printer equipment is that they are crap. I blame Carly Fiorina.
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### Author:  [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/16 "2011-06-22T19:38:15Z")
I blame Compaq.
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### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/17 "2011-06-22T19:38:32Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> HP is God’s junk, which explains the seamier side of evolution.
and stuff
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### Author:  [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/18 "2011-06-22T19:43:40Z")
I have a simple rule about HP.
I won’t buy an HP anything. Printer, Computer, Laptop, tennis racket … Whatever they are selling, I’m not buying it.
This simple rule was enacted soon after I bought the last piece of low quality PC shit that I will ever own after declaring I would never own one because of the previous piece of shit HP product that I owned.
It was a laser printer and for some strange reason it defied typical HP protocol and actually worked well and had toner cartridges which were reasonably priced. Unfortunately I replaced the computer it was attached to with a new Windows 7 computer. That was two years ago and even though the printer was less than 2 months old HP somehow never got around to issuing a driver for it to work on a Windows 7 computer.
So the one lousy functioning piece of HP equipment that I own is not compatible with anything. All of the other lousy POS HP products that I own ARE compatible but quit working because they are TYPICAL POS HP products.
Do yourself a favor - Avoid HP products like the plague
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/19 "2011-06-22T19:44:55Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#):
>
> Took me about 5 seconds with a little bit of reasoning sprinkled into the mix.
>
> :rolleyes:
I actually didn’t figure it out until I read the explanation. I was thinking along the lines of “God is dead,” “God is HP stuff junk,” “HP stuff junk is dead.” 😕 Not sure why my brain didn’t try to insert the comma. :smack:
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### Author:  [@HookerChemical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HookerChemical)
#### Post date: [June 22, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-hp-stuff-junk/586451/20 "2011-06-22T19:45:53Z")
As somebody who’s had the misfortune of buying a HP laptop, sending it in three times for repairs, getting a replacement, and sending that in for repairs three times, and constructs rambling sentences such as this, I managed to parse the title correctly on the first try.
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