# GOD is not a girl **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 1999, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113 "1999-08-15T18:06:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 1999, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/61 "1999-09-04T20:40:00Z")
speakeasy wrote: > [@](#): > > Why should an omnipotent omniscient being sit on the sidelines while the rest of us get laid? Think about it, god would be able to hot on command (omnipotent) I must not be watching enough pornographic movies. I have never before heard “hot” used as a verb. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 1999, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/62 "1999-09-05T04:39:00Z")
I have. As in “you-uns hot not be a-thinkin bout stuff lak thet.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 1999, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/63 "1999-09-05T07:01:00Z")
Let’s get back to the original question. Here are some reasons god is NOT a woman. 1. Because he had Noah build an ark with no windows. 2. Because He never apologized for anything, and He never said please and thank you. 3. Because He used fire, flood and famine to get his point across. He never said it with flowers. 4. Because He always picked the boys for His teams. 5. Because He turned water into wine. A woman would have turned it into chocolate. 6. Because He was born in a barn. 7. Because He wants ALL our attention ALL the time. 8. Because He let Solomon have so many wives. 9. Because He told women to obey their husbands, AND… 10. Because He says He’s GOD! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 1999, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/64 "1999-09-05T07:44:00Z")
That’s very amusing and all, so I’ll play along. Just for the sake of argument: 1. Would a man get the job done in 7 days? 2. Look at a man’s body; now look at a woman’s body. Which is the sacred image? 3. A woman **would** get jealous of us worshipping nonexistant gods. 4. The rainbow. A man would stop with Red and Blue. 5. Multiple orgasms and unlimited access. 6. Would a man make a fuss over what you ate and when you ate it? 7. Stars. Who’s counting? 8. Everything in Nature is circular, spherical, or cyclical. Female. 9. God never speaks Truth directly. “You should **know**. If you have to ask, just never mind.” 10. Love is more important than sex, power, money, etc. **Love**. ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 1999, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/65 "1999-09-05T07:56:00Z")
I told you before: I’m the best of both worlds. Consider me **bicelestial**. ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 1999, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113/66 "1999-09-05T18:38:00Z")
And **multilingual** …now that is fun for all concerned! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-not-a-girl/2113.md?page=3)