# God is talking to (well, e-mailing) me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631 "2012-07-18T15:17:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/1 "2012-07-18T15:17:37Z")
I got this in my e-mail today! ===================== Hi, This is a personal message from God Allah to you. It may be the only message you ever receive from Me so please respond. I, God Allah, am here in the USA looking for a church or mosque, etc. to receive Me. If you know of a church or mosque, business, community, etc. available to receive and welcome God Allah for the purposes previously explained by the religious organizations, please email Me at god @llah.MOBI (no spaces). For more information please contact Allah’s VM/SMS +1-707-925-2488 Emergency Message, God Allah P.O. Box 701 San Mateo, CA 94401 USA +1-650-458-7524 god @llah.MOBI (subscribe) god @llah.US (unsubscribe) * * * NOTE: Due to communications errors, websites may or may not yet fully resolve. This email updated often. NOTE: Sub/Unsub link address is https:// [LLAH.US](http://LLAH.US) ; however, due to the nature of this emergency, links must be typed manually. NOTE: Due to the nature of electronic communications, it is possible you may have difficulty reaching Allah, therefore, please accept this apology for any communication errors during this interim, moreover, you may edit this press release for your market so long as the intended communication and links resolve. e.g. email, phone number, website, etc., as explained herein. NOTE: I personally respond within twenty-four hours or sooner. Thank you for your review. NOTE: Communications in English, please. Message and links updated frequently. Stay alert, Stay alive. NOTE: Due to the nature of divinity, it is possible this is the last message from God Allah to you personally. NOTE: Due to the nature of this emergency, there could be spiritual ramifications for your failure to comply. NEW: 10 Commandments Online: THOU.TEL … click to see. * * * NEXT UPDATE NLT 11 SEP 2012 * * * =============== Who knew God Allah had e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and a PO box in San Mateo? I’d question why He doesn’t have a Web site, but I guess He moves in mysterious ways. I wish I had a church or mosque for Him to use, but I don’t. Seeing as He’s decided to get in touch with me directly, do you think I should build Him one? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/2 "2012-07-18T15:19:14Z")
Personally, I’d block him. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/3 "2012-07-18T15:21:28Z")
> [@](#): > > NOTE: Communications in English, please. Message and links updated frequently. Stay alert, Stay alive. What an odd thing for God Allah to say. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/4 "2012-07-18T15:21:37Z")
Email Him back and tell him you plan to build him a church but you need to know what dimensions (in cubits) He wants it. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/5 "2012-07-18T15:23:51Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Personally, I’d block him. You’re going to hell just for thinking that, **kayaker**! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/6 "2012-07-18T15:27:12Z")
Reply back that he is an obvious false god, for the One True God would want His house on the Temple Mount restored. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/7 "2012-07-18T15:38:24Z")
I had no idea God’s last name was Allah! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/8 "2012-07-18T15:46:20Z")
You should contact a large church and let them know that you can put them in direct contact with God Allah, for a small (large) fee. Sit back and profit! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/9 "2012-07-18T15:46:44Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > You’re going to hell just for thinking that, **kayaker**! I’ll be with all my friends.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/10 "2012-07-18T15:49:54Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > NOTE: Due to the nature of divinity, it is possible this is the last message from God Allah to you personally. As the day nurse may figure out that I’m not taking my meds. ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/11 "2012-07-18T15:53:11Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I had no idea God’s last name was Allah! Of the San Mateo Allahs. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/12 "2012-07-18T16:14:13Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > You should contact a large church and let them know that you can put them in direct contact with God Allah, for a small (large) fee. Sit back and [del]profit[/del] prophet! Fixed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/13 "2012-07-18T16:35:29Z")
Have you tried [chatting with God](http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)? (Link goes to a charming chat bot). ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/14 "2012-07-18T16:41:04Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > Fixed. 😉 Welcome to the SDMB, **Iggy** , We’re pretty strict around here about not messing with other people’s words, even when it’s a joke and clearly labeled as such. Please don’t do this. Thanks, **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![gunnergoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e95f7d/32.png) [@gunnergoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gunnergoz)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/15 "2012-07-18T17:05:19Z")
Is God on Skype? Is his IP address 000.000.0.0? Is his email god@god.god? Otherwise he’s a pretender. :rolleyes: :smack: 😛 I’m just glad I’m not on this particular spam/scam list. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/16 "2012-07-18T17:16:08Z")
[James Tiberius Kirk] Uh, what does **GOD** need with e-mail? [/James Tiberius Kirk] ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/17 "2012-07-18T17:17:27Z")
Everybody knows God uses IPv7. Since the rest of us haven’t fully caught up to IPv6 yet, this hakes God a little hard to contact. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/18 "2012-07-18T17:27:04Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > NOTE: Sub/Unsub link address is https:// [LLAH.US](http://LLAH.US) ; however, due to the nature of this emergency, links must be typed manually. If you unsubscribe to god’s email list, do you go to hell? I don’t believe that was covered anywhere in the Gospels ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/19 "2012-07-18T23:03:51Z")
Not sure putting in a call to El Shaddai would go the way we wanted it to: [YouTube](http://m.youtube.com/?reason=8&rdm=1801#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpRNcdAalcEk&v=pRNcdAalcEk&gl=US). ETA: > [@YogSosoth](#): > > If you unsubscribe to god’s email list, do you go to hell? I don’t believe that was covered anywhere in the Gospels You bring up a good point: [Apostasy - Wikipedia](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostasy) ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/20 "2012-07-18T23:40:56Z")
God is old fashioned. I know this because he sent my father a letter (East German commies also sent my father letters, but after studying the letter us kids concluded it was God. No self respecting commy would sign a letter with a name like Nunziati.) We desperately wanted to see the hole in the sky where God chucked the demons in but in spite of owning a telescope Dad refused to oblige. (He also refused to let us send money when we found out there where only 15 Christians in East Europe.) God is busy but he takes his sweet time and sometimes, considering He’s old, he may be a bit slow. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631.md?page=2)