# God is talking to (well, e-mailing) me!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 18, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631 "2012-07-18T15:17:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/21 "2012-07-19T01:29:42Z")

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I don’t know about God, but you may have found MOBI dick…

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**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/22 "2012-07-19T03:20:34Z")

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> [@commasense](#):
>
> [color=purple]
> 
> I, God Allah, am here in the USA

By way of Nigeria perhaps?😉

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**Author:** ![gunnergoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e95f7d/32.png) [@gunnergoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gunnergoz)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/23 "2012-07-19T04:03:46Z")

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> [@carnut](#):
>
> By way of Nigeria perhaps?😉

More likely by way of Bellvue. :rolleyes:

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/24 "2012-07-19T04:32:31Z")

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Everyone is going to be so thrilled that God Allah is now in the USA! All the leaders of all the religious groups will just flock to Him!

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**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/25 "2012-07-19T05:20:32Z")

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Ooh! Ask Him if He considers Mormons as Christians.

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**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/26 "2012-07-19T07:51:00Z")

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I think you should act as his go-between (for a small fee) and shop his political endorsement to Obama and Romney.

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**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/27 "2012-07-19T08:23:45Z")

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> [@Procrustus](#):
>
> What an odd thing for God Allah to say.

Yeah, I would have guessed he’d want communications in Enochian or Esperanto or something.

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**Author:** ![GreasyJack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df705f/32.png) [@GreasyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreasyJack)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/28 "2012-07-19T09:03:07Z")

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[QUOTE=God Allah]

NOTE: Sub/Unsub link address is https:// [LLAH.US](http://LLAH.US) ; however, due to the nature of this emergency, links must be typed manually.

[/QUOTE]

I have a feeling that the nature of this emergency involves being caught by spam filters.

Which raises the age old question of whether God can design a spam filter so mighty that not even He can spam it.

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**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/29 "2012-07-19T09:10:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I’d question why He doesn’t have a Web site. . .

All your website are belong to God.

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/30 "2012-07-19T10:08:24Z")

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> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#):
>
> Email Him back and tell him you plan to build him a church but you need to know what dimensions (in cubits) He wants it.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight. What’s a cubit?

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**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/31 "2012-07-19T12:05:49Z")

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> [@Gyrate](#):
>
> Riiiiiiiiiiiight. What’s a cubit?

“I’m going to destroy the world!”

“Riiiiight!”

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**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/32 "2012-07-19T12:24:50Z")

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So Allah is okay with churches? Like, Christianity or Islam, it’s all the same to him?

I think he should be clearing up a few things with some of his more… zealous followers, instead of writing random e-mails.

But what do I know? I’m not God.

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/33 "2012-07-20T02:20:05Z")

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> [@Tangent](#):
>
> Ooh! Ask Him if He considers Mormons as Christians.

…and if James Hoban left enough room in the Whitehouse for Second & Third ladies bedrooms…

I’d say Fourth, but you Know he likes to Fire people…

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**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/34 "2012-07-20T14:47:22Z")

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I’m shocked that you people believe that that email is from God.

Clearly his kid was fucking around on His computer.

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**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/35 "2012-07-20T15:45:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> NOTE: Due to the nature of electronic communications, it is possible you may have difficulty reaching Allah, therefore, please accept this apology for any communication errors during this interim, moreover, you may edit this press release for your market\*\* so long as the intended communication and links resolve\*\*. e.g. email, phone number, website, etc., as explained herein.

so, not all links resolve to allah?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/36 "2012-07-21T09:08:21Z")

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I was going to drop God Allah a postcard at the address given in the O.P., but decided to Google the address first. P.O. Box 701 San Mateo CA 94401 belongs to [dynadot](http://www.dynadot.com).

> [@](#):
>
> Dynadot is an ICANN-accredited domain name registrar and web host located in San Mateo, California. We’re dedicated to providing our customers with world class registration and hosting services for a reasonable price.

One of the services they offer is a [“privacy domain service”](http://www.dynadot.com/domain/privacy.html).

> [@](#):
>
> Protect your contact information with our private domain service. We replace your contact information with our own. We forward any correspondence to you, after filtering out all the spam and junk mail. This service is just $2.00 a year.

[Jesus uses the same address](http://sacramentswholesale.blogspot.com/2010/02/actual-email-from-jesus-this-proves-im.html).

It has also been used by a number of individuals and companies that have been rejected by the BBB and/or sanctioned by the FDA.

God Allah is one cheap sleazy SOB.

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**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/37 "2012-07-21T09:24:01Z")

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> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#):
>
> “I’m going to destroy the world!”
> 
> “Riiiiight!”

So, how long can you tread water?

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/38 "2012-07-21T15:00:56Z")

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Hmm, a spam email without a misspelling? It must be God because that is truly a miracle.

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/39 "2012-07-21T16:42:10Z")

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> [@Jragon](#):
>
> Yeah, I would have guessed he’d want communications in Enochian or Esperanto or something.

Esperanto? I’m so there! For a modest fee, I’ll be happy to translate!

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\
**Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/god-is-talking-to-well-e-mailing-me/628631/40 "2012-07-23T18:28:09Z")

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Weird. You’d think God Allah wouldn’t resort to spam, what with it not being halal 'n all that.

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