# Goddammit holy shit a jalapeño burned my dick **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716 "2010-05-17T02:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/61 "2010-05-17T15:46:53Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > He was paraphrasing one of the many variations of the old marching song. > > _I don’t know but I’ve been told > Eskimo pussy is mighty cold._ Was anyone else trying to figure out the bizarre Zeppelin reference? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/62 "2010-05-17T16:11:01Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > And if you get it on your contacts, it ain’t coming off. (And getting the contact out when your eye is spasming shut because of the capsaicin is another set of interesting challenges.) This. Ow. Fourteen years ago and I still remember the pain. And that was after washing my hands twice. :eek: > [@Kimstu](#): > > You’re telling us that a pizza prepper panged his peppered pecker? If a pizza prepper pangs his peppered pecker, what’s the pack of pain relievers a peppered-peckered-pizza-prepper’d pick? Bra-_vo_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/63 "2010-05-17T16:36:41Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > And it’s _much_ worse if you’ve been handling habaneros or Thai chiles. Also, it will kill the romantic mood if you happen to forget to wash your hands after handling chiles and get frisky with the SO. Yes. Oh gods, yes. I now wash my hands thoroughly every time I’m within spitting distance of a habanero. That was two years ago, and I can still feel it. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/64 "2010-05-17T18:47:16Z")
All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie. Many thanks to QtM. I usually remember to “hold it” with the other hand after chopping peppers, but I was in a hurry (couple of dinner-making beers). Poor guy - his life is a series of ups and downs. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/65 "2010-05-17T18:50:13Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Yes. Oh gods, yes. I now wash my hands thoroughly every time I’m within spitting distance of a habanero. That was two years ago, and I can still feel it. I’ve been fortunate enough to “only” get my eye stinging, and I still keep a box of disposable vinyl gloves under my sink, to put on for any hot pepper chopping/handling. I don’t trust my various sensitive mucous membranes to mere hand-washing! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/66 "2010-05-17T19:13:48Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie. I’m not going to post the obvious “creme filling” joke. Just not gonna do it. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/67 "2010-05-17T19:14:10Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie. > > Many … Sounds like time to do a little lyric-rewriting: > **[Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-oreo-cookie-song-Ice-cold-milk-and-an-oreo-cookie/314435193714)** Oh, Oh, ice cold milk after jalapeño peppers They forever go together, What a classic combination When a burny tingly pecker meets an icy cold sensation Like the one and only creamy, bouncy, fun toy, Oh-oh-oh-oh!! ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/68 "2010-05-17T19:41:38Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > . . . and I can’t even smell artificial cinnamon candy even today without thinking about my poor weiner. Isn’t this the last line to Proust’s _Rememberance of Things Past_? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/69 "2010-05-17T19:42:37Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > All is well south of the border, although my wife threatened to grab the camera as I was treating my junk like an Oreo cookie. > > Many thanks to QtM. De nada. It’s not the first time I’ve been called upon to help put out a fire down below. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/70 "2010-05-17T20:11:53Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Was anyone else trying to figure out the bizarre Zeppelin reference? You bet. I couldn’t figure out what the hell big-legged women had to do with this. On the other hand… I’ve got a flamin’ dong, can’t get my fill Glans that shines, burning red Dreams of you all through my head I’ll stop now. ETA, I am impressed that the OP went to the effort of putting the tilde over the n. If my pork sword were on fire, I wouldn’t be reaching for the character map. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/71 "2010-05-17T21:40:11Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Automated Cow Milking machine is missing from that list. And Vacuum Cleaner… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/72 "2010-05-17T21:45:30Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > So you’re one of those who needs oysters. :p:D I never understood what the thing was about oysters. I ate a dozen the other night and only seven of them worked. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/73 "2010-05-17T21:59:33Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I never understood what the thing was about oysters. I ate a dozen the other night and only seven of them worked. You’re not putting them on your dick then, are you? Try that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FE3O4ENAIL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba9def/32.png) [@FE3O4ENAIL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FE3O4ENAIL)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/74 "2010-05-17T22:16:53Z")
A man from New Mexico told me that the migrant workers who pick peppers have hand made copper tools hanging from their belts. One end has a hook to use on their zipper, and the other end a spoon like detail to scoop their penis out of their pants. With no place to wash they need to be able to answer a call of nature without touching their junk. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/75 "2010-05-17T23:42:06Z")
It is also a good idea to be careful with any brand of shampoo when approaching the Cobra Commander. I’m not exactly sure how, but one time while holding and squirting(the bottle you asses)to wash off some forgotten substance with shampoo I managed to aim the stream up the urethra. Now that is a area that is not exactly chemically hardened. It hurt like holy hell for three hours and swelled from the inside, and kept me awake all night with the ache. And peeing was excruciating for 5 days. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/76 "2010-05-18T00:01:23Z")
Sounds like that time I accidentally sat on a gerbil. Bad as it was for me, I think the gerbil got the worst end of the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/77 "2010-05-18T01:51:37Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > A man from New Mexico told me that the migrant workers who pick peppers have hand made copper tools hanging from their belts. One end has a hook to use on their zipper, and the other end a spoon like detail to scoop their penis out of their pants. With no place to wash they need to be able to answer a call of nature without touching their junk. [Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use my spoon.](http://pantsonthegroundvideo.com/tell-me-best-joke-for-10-points.html) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/78 "2010-05-18T03:24:16Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > _“GOD DAMN IT! > HOLY SHIT! > A JALAPEÑO BURNED MY DICK!”_ Burma-Shave. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/79 "2010-05-18T03:25:02Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Burma-Shave. See post #55. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716/80 "2010-05-18T03:31:45Z")
Huh. I didn’t even see that one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddammit-holy-shit-a-jalapeno-burned-my-dick/539716.md?page=5)