# Goddamn designer candy canes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193 "2007-12-16T14:05:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/1 "2007-12-16T14:05:38Z")
Candy canes are red and white stripes. Period. I understand that this is a very limited palate, but that’s it. Red. White. Stripes. Not green, not yellow, not brown, not pink, not blue. This is not Joseph and his amazing technicolor dream cane. Candy canes are peppermint. They are not lemon-lime, or chocolate, or cherry or strawberry done up in peppermint stripes, they are dfinitely not blueberry and they are absolutely not bubble gum flavored. If you disagree with this, you are everything that is wrong with Christmas and America. ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/2 "2007-12-16T14:25:41Z")
Word. That is one of the truest things I have ever read. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/3 "2007-12-16T14:32:48Z")
If guys like you had been in charge, we’d never have had the opportunity to try pizza with pineapple and canadian bacon. And that reality is just not worth living! ---
**Author:** ![3acresandatruck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e79b87/32.png) [@3acresandatruck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3acresandatruck)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/4 "2007-12-16T14:40:43Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] If you disagree with this, you are everything that is wrong with Christmas and America. [/QUOTE] I can only guess that the immoderate weather of late has left you somewhat addlepated. Surely, you must realize that more and more varieties of candy canes are part of the American Dream! You should be grateful that you can still get your red and white candy canes at all. And keep in mind, that so long as I and those of my ilk continue to purchase endlessly strange and colorful candy canes, the merchants who provide them will seek even newer, wierder combinations. BWAA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/5 "2007-12-16T14:45:40Z")
[QUOTE=3acresandatruck] I can only guess that the immoderate weather of late has left you somewhat addlepated. Surely, you must realize that more and more varieties of candy canes are part of the American Dream! You should be grateful that you can still get your red and white candy canes at all. And keep in mind, that so long as I and those of my ilk continue to purchase endlessly strange and colorful candy canes, the merchants who provide them will seek even newer, wierder combinations. BWAA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!! [/QUOTE] You go to _Hell!_ You go to Hell and you _die!_ And don’t call me Shirley. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/6 "2007-12-16T14:54:58Z")
Jesus didn’t have a candy cane on the cross, did he? If we only celebrated in the purist way, we’d only be sucking on pieces of splintered wood and LIKING IT! Meanwhile, I love them spearmint candy canes. I’m no heretic. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/7 "2007-12-16T14:59:22Z")
[QUOTE=NightRabbit] Jesus didn’t have a candy cane on the cross, did he? If we only celebrated in the purist way, we’d only be sucking on pieces of splintered wood and LIKING IT! [/QUOTE] Splintered wood and _nail_. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/8 "2007-12-16T14:59:55Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] If guys like you had been in charge, we’d never have had the opportunity to try pizza with pineapple and canadian bacon. And that reality is just not worth living! [/QUOTE] Without agreeing with the OP, I have to say that you’re wrong here, **Qadgop**. Pineapple pizza is a crime against Man, God and the Prime Directive! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![3acresandatruck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e79b87/32.png) [@3acresandatruck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3acresandatruck)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/9 "2007-12-16T15:06:05Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] You go to Hell and you _die!_ [/QUOTE] No, no, no…you even have _that_ backwards! Well, at least that’s what I’ve been told…I’ll go _after_ I die. In the interim, however, I believe I shall pen a missive to Brachs. It suddenly occurs to me that if we have razors with five blades, why not candy canes with five colors? And maybe they could _braid_ some of the stripes together in delightfully intricate patterns. We shall never give up, we shall never surrender… ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/10 "2007-12-16T15:26:09Z")
[QUOTE=NightRabbit] Jesus didn’t have a candy cane on the cross, did he? If we only celebrated in the purist way, we’d only be sucking on pieces of splintered wood and LIKING IT! [/QUOTE] The hell? You have a specialty candy for Good Friday? What freaky-ass sect are you in? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/11 "2007-12-16T15:28:04Z")
I take it [this](http://www.mfashop.com/533905.html) would be out of the question? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/12 "2007-12-16T15:48:02Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm] I take it [this](http://www.mfashop.com/533905.html) would be out of the question? 😃 [/QUOTE] No, that’s fine. It’s not a candy cane and it’s not pretending to be a candy cane. It uses the correct colors both for the body and for the actual representation of the cane that the pig-rider is carrying. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/13 "2007-12-16T16:00:43Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Without agreeing with the OP, I have to say that you’re wrong here, **Qadgop**. Pineapple pizza is a crime against Man, God and the Prime Directive! [/QUOTE] Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what I said too. Then one day I _tried_ it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/14 "2007-12-16T16:04:38Z")
Are there candies made that are not chocolate? I hadn’t noticed. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/15 "2007-12-16T16:14:19Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] The hell? You have a specialty candy for Good Friday? What freaky-ass sect are you in? [/QUOTE] The sect of my imaginative mind. Wanna join? I give some kickass nonsensical sermons on Sundays 😛 Meanwhile, as soon as I posted, I thought, dumbass, that’s easter, not christmas! I’m not even good at PRETENDING to be christian. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/16 "2007-12-16T16:30:00Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] If guys like you had been in charge, we’d never have had the opportunity to try pizza with pineapple and canadian bacon. And that reality is just not worth living! [/QUOTE] You Communist. You’re already 9/10ths there; why not just go a little further north to Canuckistan and hang out with the other subversives? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/17 "2007-12-16T16:41:44Z")
Moving candy fight to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/18 "2007-12-16T16:53:35Z")
Wait, does this mean we can’t keep swearing? Fuck! ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/19 "2007-12-16T18:05:02Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] Moving candy fight to MPSIMS. [/QUOTE] Can I still call \*\*QtM \*\* a fucking communist? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193/20 "2007-12-16T18:10:25Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] If guys like you had been in charge, we’d never have had the opportunity to try pizza with pineapple and canadian bacon. [/QUOTE] Setting aside for a later date the discussion of Weird Things That Do Not Belong On Pizza…I think that actually this is a good point. Where would _homo sapiens_ be, culinarily, without our knack for endless food experimentation (she asked with a fine rhetorical sweep of her arms)? If it was a brave man who first et an oyster, think how much braver was he who first added cocoa to his coffee? It is not graven in stone that a candy cane must only be peppermint-flavored, the same way it is not graven in stone that a cuppa joe must only be coffee-flavored, and not be embellished with Frangelico, Irish whiskey, or rum. I think it’s an interesting idea to have candy canes come in all the flavors of those fake “Olde Tyme” candy sticks featured at the Gifte Shoppe at every historic site I ever visited. Repackaging. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-designer-candy-canes/430193.md?page=2)