# Goddamn fuckin Canada!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [July 6, 2007, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712 "2007-07-06T08:11:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/81 "2007-07-08T17:47:39Z")

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[QUOTE=Sunspace]  
For this procedure, you will need… _\<snip\>_ I hope this helps.  
[/QUOTE]  
My Gosh, you learned well! Nicely done! I do have a few comments, but perhaps it’s best not to perpetuate a hijack. We can take it to e-mail.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/82 "2007-07-08T18:40:41Z")

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[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo]  
No, cuntbag. It’s the arbitrary nature of which your dipshit postal service has taken with regards to our mail. No name on the return address when my fuckin signature is two inches down on the customs form? Seemed to work fine for me before. This is telling me that my mail ran into a douchebag Canadian postal official who is so fuckin by the book that he gets hards when he sees your nonsensical ZIP codes written on the last line before the word CANADA.

Well, now Canada gets none of my goods. I hope they’ll be able to survive on reindeer jerky and maple syrup, or do they offer other products these days?  
[/QUOTE]

“Cuntbag?” I don’t think this insult is working - it made me laugh out loud.

**Sunspace** , we have two cats, and it’s a thing of beauty, how when trying to get them out of somewhere, I pick one up and carry her out, put her down, go back for the other, and as I’m carrying cat #2 out, the first one walks back in. Cats, man.

Did somebody say oil, gas, hydroelectric, lumber, wheat, beef, gold, uranium, diamond, and beer omelette party? Alright! I’ll make the Nanaimo bars!

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/83 "2007-07-08T19:52:52Z")

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[QUOTE=featherlou]  
“Cuntbag?” I don’t think this insult is working - it made me laugh out loud.

**Sunspace** , we have two cats, and it’s a thing of beauty, how when trying to get them out of somewhere, I pick one up and carry her out, put her down, go back for the other, and as I’m carrying cat #2 out, the first one walks back in. Cats, man.

Did somebody say oil, gas, hydroelectric, lumber, wheat, beef, gold, uranium, diamond, and beer omelette party? Alright! I’ll make the Nanaimo bars!  
[/QUOTE]  
Would that be the beef Nanaimo bars or the uranium Nanaimo bars? 🙂

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**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/84 "2007-07-08T20:15:44Z")

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[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo]  
Well, now Canada gets none of my goods.  
[/QUOTE]

I think Canada decided a long time ago that you can stick your goods up your ass, Johnny **Dildo**.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/85 "2007-07-08T20:27:05Z")

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[QUOTE=Sunspace]  
Would that be the beef Nanaimo bars or the uranium Nanaimo bars? 🙂  
[/QUOTE]

I used to work at Darlington Nuclear Generating Station writing operating manuals. Part of the basic station training included taking a course that talked about the safety of the fuel pellets. I was told that they were safe to eat. Ne shiteth vous pas.

I now live a thousand miles away from that place.

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/86 "2007-07-08T21:53:14Z")

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[QUOTE=Muffin]  
I used to work at Darlington Nuclear Generating Station writing operating manuals. Part of the basic station training included taking a course that talked about the safety of the fuel pellets. I was told that they were safe to eat. Ne shiteth vous pas.

I now live a thousand miles away from that place.  
[/QUOTE]  
Hey, at least it doesn’t catch fire if the coolant leaks away…

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**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/87 "2007-07-08T22:07:38Z")

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[QUOTE=featherlou]  
That’s what I was afraid he meant, but I was giving him a chance to explain what he said in a way that made him sound less idiotic than someone who would assume that Canadians would celebrate the American Independence Day.  
[/QUOTE]  
I was clearly being sardonic. Who’s more idiotic, me or **Johnny Hildo**? 😉

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**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/88 "2007-07-08T23:31:35Z")

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[QUOTE=Spoons]  
You missed the unkindest cut of all:

We’ll keep our _beer_! 😛  
[/QUOTE]

You can have it. With the exception of some nice brew produced by Granville Island Brewing, I’ve not yet tasted a Canuck brew that could hold a candle to Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire or Shiner. Care to name some Canadian brews you feel are superior?

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/89 "2007-07-08T23:41:55Z")

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[QUOTE=Kozmik]  
I was clearly being sardonic. Who’s more idiotic, me or **Johnny Hildo**? 😉  
[/QUOTE]

Sorry - I missed your sardonism. (Do I really have to choose? 😉 back atcha.)

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/90 "2007-07-09T01:52:46Z")

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[QUOTE=silenus]  
You can have it. With the exception of some nice brew produced by Granville Island Brewing, I’ve not yet tasted a Canuck brew that could hold a candle to Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire or Shiner. Care to name some Canadian brews you feel are superior?  
[/QUOTE]  
Be glad to:

[Creemore Springs](http://www.creemoresprings.com/live/). Nice dark lager. Try it on tap; the draught is much better than the bottled stuff, but either way, Creemore beats any mass-produced commercial lager hands down.

[Mill Street Brewery](http://millstreetbrewery.com/main3.htm) makes a fantastic wheat beer.

[Empress India Pale Ale](http://www.steamworks.com/thirsty.htm) from the Steamworks Brewpub in Vancouver. All the taste an IPA should have, and then some.

[Propeller Porter](http://www.drinkpropeller.ca/beer/ourProducts.html#porter). Black and sweet, this is probably the best Canadian porter I’ve tasted.

[Steam Whistle](http://www.steamwhistle.ca/). A pilsner. An ice cold Steam Whistle is what you want on a hot day.

Of course, tastes vary, and no doubt some Canadian doper will be in to sing the praises of McAuslan, of Big Rock, of Quidi Vidi, or of other breweries’ products. I’m just answering your question; the ones I think are superior to products from Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire, and Shiner. And to be honest, I think the items my list are superior to Granville Island, too.

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**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/91 "2007-07-09T02:14:59Z")

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[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland]  
**Frank** , darling, there was fucking in Canada as recently as last night. While I don’t have any sort of documentation or a website you can refer to, please take my word for it. I’m still walking funny. 😃  
[/QUOTE]

If all goes well, there will be fucking in Canada tonight. There may even be oral, but don’t worry folks, it’ll be domestic oral. Which is basically free in this Socialist paradise 🙂

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/92 "2007-07-09T02:19:25Z")

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[QUOTE=Spoons]  
Be glad to:

[Creemore Springs](http://www.creemoresprings.com/live/). Nice dark lager. Try it on tap; the draught is much better than the bottled stuff, but either way, Creemore beats any mass-produced commercial lager hands down.

[Mill Street Brewery](http://millstreetbrewery.com/main3.htm) makes a fantastic wheat beer.

[Empress India Pale Ale](http://www.steamworks.com/thirsty.htm) from the Steamworks Brewpub in Vancouver. All the taste an IPA should have, and then some.

[Propeller Porter](http://www.drinkpropeller.ca/beer/ourProducts.html#porter). Black and sweet, this is probably the best Canadian porter I’ve tasted.

[Steam Whistle](http://www.steamwhistle.ca/). A pilsner. An ice cold Steam Whistle is what you want on a hot day.

Of course, tastes vary, and no doubt some Canadian doper will be in to sing the praises of McAuslan, of Big Rock, of Quidi Vidi, or of other breweries’ products. I’m just answering your question; the ones I think are superior to products from Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire, and Shiner. And to be honest, I think the items my list are superior to Granville Island, too.  
[/QUOTE]

I think you can pretty much list any Canadian beer that _isn’t_ Canadian or Blue and you’ve got a fine beer.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/93 "2007-07-09T02:47:03Z")

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Nothing to do with the subject of this thread-I just noticed the [ad](http://tlctugger.com/?gclid=CJ2PirC6mY0CFQeHgQod2UaJzw) at the bottom of the page.

(Could **JDT** still be among us?)

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/94 "2007-07-09T03:50:53Z")

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[For all you sardoniacs:](http://www.mainerec.com/wcounty1.asp?Category=145&PageNum=145)

> [@](#):
>
> A most remarkable and heart- warming relationship exists between Calais and its Canadian sister city, St. Stephen, N.B., just across the St. Croix River. Canadian and American holidays are mutually celebrated, nearly every organization has a mixed membership; Calais imports its very drinking water from Canada one of two places in the world where water is imported for this purpose; the Calais and St. Stephen, N.B., fire and police departments cooperate on every call for help.

They also used to have an international street car.

[Even in the worst of times, everyone partied together:](http://www.educationcanada.com/browse.phtml?sid=nb&eid=1338&a=eip&lang=eng)

> [@](#):
>
> during the War of 1812, the British military provided St. Stephen with a large supply of gunpowder for protection against the enemy Americans in Calais, but the town elders gave the gunpowder to Calais for its Fourth of July celebrations.

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**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/95 "2007-07-09T06:37:14Z")

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Maybe Johnny should get some [anti-stupid pills](http://www.pharmacy-online.ca/).

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**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/96 "2007-07-09T13:07:24Z")

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[QUOTE=Cerowyn]  
Maybe Johnny should get some [anti-stupid pills](http://www.pharmacy-online.ca/).  
[/QUOTE]

The factory hasn’t been built that could meet the production requirements.

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**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/97 "2007-07-09T23:47:18Z")

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[QUOTE=FordPrefect]  
If all goes well, there will be fucking in Canada tonight. There may even be oral, but don’t worry folks, it’ll be domestic oral. Which is basically free in this Socialist paradise 🙂  
[/QUOTE]

Is Canadian domestic oral like, you know, regular oral…but you say ‘Banff’ over and over when she’s just about to come to delay/prolong her orgasm? 😃

Years of getting lucky after counting Canadian license plates have warped my brain into thinking all Canadian women look like [Cobie Smulders](http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/50/97/0000035097_20061021055001.jpg) and are hornier than minx in heat (except when they see me; then they become angrier than [American Maid](http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/a/amermaid.jpg)). _ducks to avoid the in-flight of shoes_

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**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/98 "2007-07-10T01:31:18Z")

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[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]  
The factory hasn’t been built that could meet the production requirements.  
[/QUOTE]  
How about a really big suppository?

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/99 "2007-07-10T01:33:36Z")

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[QUOTE=Count Blucher]  
Is Canadian domestic oral like, you know, regular oral…but you say ‘Banff’ over and over when she’s just about to come to delay/prolong her orgasm? 😃

Years of getting lucky after counting Canadian license plates have warped my brain into thinking all Canadian women look like [Cobie Smulders](http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/50/97/0000035097_20061021055001.jpg) and are hornier than minx in heat (except when they see me; then they become angrier than [American Maid](http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/a/amermaid.jpg)). _ducks to avoid the in-flight of shoes_  
[/QUOTE]  
So it’s all _your_ fault!

Let’s get’im!  
:: avalanche of thrown shoes, Tim Hortons[sup]TM[/sup] donuts, and moose antlers ::

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-fuckin-canada/410712/100 "2007-07-10T01:45:36Z")

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[QUOTE=featherlou]  
I think you can pretty much list any Canadian beer that _isn’t_ Canadian…  
[/QUOTE]

Wait a minute…

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