# Goddamn it, I'm tired of the public traumamongering **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873 "2013-04-16T21:02:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/61 "2013-04-21T22:22:57Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > A third possibility is that we are civilized, reasonable and compassionate. I don’t think I want to live in a society that accepts mayhem and death as part of the daily grind. Do you think the people who existed in all but modern western society were uncivilized, unreasonable, and uncompassionate? It’s certainly not “reason”. Do you have any idea how much horrible shit goes on in the world every day - at this very moment? Stuff way worse than the Boston bombings are a daily occurrence all over the world. Why aren’t people rendered completely non-functional by all of this human suffering? Why do they just completely ignore it? Because these civilized, reasonable, compassionate people are so tribal that all the suffering in the world doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen to their tribe? How compassionate. Or because these wonderful people are oblivious and uncaring about these things until the media response instructs them what to get outraged and feel grief over? One random white girl getting kidnapped can be the object of focus and discussion for months while a millions of other people are kidnapped or worse and ignored. You’re lead around by what the stories the media feeds you to feel recreational outrage and recreational grief over. It disgusts me to see a society pat itself over the back for being strong enough to survive the tiniest of papercuts when every other society that has ever lived has shrugged off far worse. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/62 "2013-04-22T02:19:04Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > So we’re either the biggest bunch of pussies that history has ever seen, or we are neurotic people with so few real problems that we actually try to work ourselves up into a traumatized state recreationally. Either way, for fucks sake people, grow the fuck up. Shit happens. The Boston thing was probably the 400th worst thing that happened in the world that day, let alone year or decade. Or we have a level of civilization where bombings are a big deal. Our law, our government, our society is not the same as everywhere else in the world. For better or for worse, we are not the same as a places where the really bad shit happens. Forget drone strikes in Pakistan, the [murder rate in Mexico](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate) is 5 times that of the US. In 2012, 22.7 per 100K vs 4.8 per 100K. Why is that? It’s easy to say it’s the US’s fault for the war on drugs, but would a 22.7/100K murder rate ever be acceptable here? Shit no, our society would not allow it. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/63 "2013-04-22T03:00:31Z")
**SenorBeef** I see you point, but I think the reaction, or perhaps overreaction as the case may be, is a sign of the rather wonderful society we have created for ourselves, and that even though we have many problems to deal with as a whole, bombings and terrorism generally aren’t part of it. I’ve been really absorbing history recently, WWII, cold war, you name it - and right now I think many many Americans as well as other people from civilized nations that have not personally endured real hardships of war and strife just don’t understand how bad it really could be, and react accordingly. Is it acceptable, or reasonable? That certainly can be argued. But the reactions we see are _understandable_, given a public uninformed of the history of man. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/64 "2013-04-22T03:33:51Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Do you have any idea how much horrible shit goes on in the world every day - at this very moment? Stuff way worse than the Boston bombings are a daily occurrence all over the world. And those atrocities are committed by people. I’m glad to live in a society where the people who react to “horrible shit” like bombings outnumber the perpetrators. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/65 "2013-04-23T17:35:47Z")
> [@Debaser](#): > > I endorse this thread as well. > > But I recommend you resist the urge to post this to Facebook. It won’t make you very popular, I suspect. +1. For one thing, you will have outed yourself and your real name and identity and family members and friends to The SDMB. You want to do that? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/66 "2013-04-23T18:33:51Z")
Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/67 "2013-04-23T18:47:14Z")
On a purely personal level, how often does telling someone “well, you shouldn’t be so upset — there are poor people out there going through way worse than you” worked? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/68 "2013-04-25T01:17:55Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > On a purely personal level, how often does telling someone “well, you shouldn’t be so upset — there are poor people out there going through way worse than you” worked? It’s odd that I’m the one telling people this, but here I go anyways. No one is telling them not to be upset. This thread is about not going on and on about it. It’s about not turning an actual tragedy into a way to score points in how good you are that you are upset. It’s about not making it a Facebook meme. Sure, a few posters seem to be a bit too touchy, but, honestly, after an event of this magnitude, that’s to be expected. They don’t want to be reminded of this stuff. They don’t want people trying to make them feel worse than they already do. They’re dealing with it on their own. Take the OP, for example. “I don’t know if I can give a traffic report because of this shooting”? Really? Something that has absolutely nothing to do with the situation is so hard for you that you can’t even manage putting on your normal fake cheeriness that is part of your job as a morning radio host? And it doesn’t even directly affect you or your listeners? The OP is right: they were clearly grieving for the show of it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/69 "2013-04-26T14:48:34Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > I’m starting to get aittle bit angry at the Sandy Hook people. Especially because the only reason it was a news story in the first place is because it happened to middle- and upper-class, mostly white kids. Had it happened at an inner-city school with mostly black, Hispanic, or Muslim children (especially the black kids who had those made-up names that identify them as black and fatherless, and were being raised by their drug-addicted grandparents because their bioparents are in jail), it would have disappeared from the news the second this had been discovered. The few people who would be discussing it would be on racist blogs saying things like “No big loss. 20 fewer kids on welfare, and 20 fewer parasites who will breed like rats when they hit their teen years and cycle through the prison system as adults.” Or 20 potential terrorists if they were Muslim. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/70 "2013-04-26T21:30:44Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > . . . No one is telling them not to be upset. This thread is about not going on and on about it. It’s about not turning an actual tragedy into a way to score points in how good you are that you are upset. It’s about not making it a Facebook meme. . . . > > Take the OP, for example. “I don’t know if I can give a traffic report because of this shooting”? . . . > > The OP is right: they were clearly grieving for the show of it. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s done “for show.” People are different. A friend of mine died, not too long ago. I felt sad and sorry, and I miss him. Another guy took it MUCH harder than I did; several times, he had to excuse himself from the room to weep, and he cancelled several activities (parties, etc.) because he was in mourning. A nasty part of my mind notes that he has done all of this quite publicly. But who can know? Maybe he thinks I’m a cold-hearted callous bastard because I never openly wept. People are weird this way. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/71 "2013-04-26T23:04:59Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > After everybody is through out-caring each other, which will be in another 2-3 days, the media will begin with the inevitable _What can we do to prevent this from ever happening again_ mode. > > It won’t be long before some nitwit will suggest video cameras on every street corner just to be safe. Or some equally overwrought solution, you know, to fight **TERRORISM**. Easy - no more backpacks allowed near marathons. Problem Solved. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/72 "2013-04-26T23:42:33Z")
You just know if you happen to carry a big ol’ pot of chili near any public event, or even a crockpot on the way to a potluck, you’re going to be taken down hard by a SWAT team. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_Mike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Lucky\_Mike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_Mike)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/73 "2013-04-26T23:53:23Z")
Just my opinion. Our lives in the modern U.S. (pardon to the Dopers who are international) are pretty mundane in the scope of world history. Whereas the past is sparked with constant turmoil, and some nations experience horrific loss everyday (via mindless acts of random violence), to the U.S. it is relatively unique and rare. Oh, we are a violent society. Many people die from crime each year, but most of those are not random. This is why it grips us so much. Yes, hundreds of children die from accidents every year (and these are traumatic and scary), but a violent act taking the lives of those from a place like Sandyhook Elementary is something that polarizes people. It grabs their attention, just like the Boston Marathon bombing did. For many accidents, many folks comfort themselves, saying “I would never drive that way”, or " I always watch my (insert danger to loved one)". Accidents offer that sense of randomness, that there was nothing that could be done _OR_ that you can prevent it. Random acts of violence, they just cannot be controlled for. Who, in their right mind, thinks they have to worry about some idiot blowing up the local foot race? Who prepares for that contingency? I spoke to my parents after it(Boston), and they were focused on the man who had his wife and daughter both injured. They sought to empathize with them because they honestly could not relate to the emotional impact on a realistic scale. Their lives (my parents) were not interrupted by the tragedy of something like this. Their sons grew up, got married, prospered, etc… Much like the vast majority of Americans. I think the relative rarity of large, unexpected losses of life caused by random violence, coupled with media coverage, only brings these feelings to the forefront. Yes, the over-dramatic acting by public figures is enough to make anyone a little sick to the stomach. But, the visceral reaction many people feel is sincere because they do not know how to cope with the idea of some event senselessly ripping loved ones away or unalterably changing their lives. I agree with some that it is an expression of impotence, an inability to prevent something like this from happening to them or someone they love. Many seek to give money or take some other action that is not going to change the fact that they have no control over these events. They want desperately to empathize, but they lack a certain perspective which allows them to empathize on a truly personal level. Thus, in an effort to express their desire to empathize, they over do it sometimes. For most it is sincere, but more focused on their own anxiety over not having control over everything that could affect their loved one’s lives. My 2 cents. ---
**Author:** ![flyonwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@flyonwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyonwall)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/74 "2013-04-27T14:47:06Z")
CNN just doesn’t know when to step away. I cannot stomach anymore of either Anderson Cooper’s or Erin Burnett’s sad sack whining and whimpering. Until the subject changes they are off my radar. And all the “Boston Strong” stuff…I grit my teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/75 "2013-04-27T15:28:26Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Especially because the only reason it was a news story in the first place is because it happened to middle- and upper-class, mostly white kids. Had it happened at an inner-city school with mostly black, Hispanic, or Muslim children (especially the black kids who had those made-up names that identify them as black and fatherless, and were being raised by their drug-addicted grandparents because their bioparents are in jail), it would have disappeared from the news the second this had been discovered. The few people who would be discussing it would be on racist blogs saying things like “No big loss. 20 fewer kids on welfare, and 20 fewer parasites who will breed like rats when they hit their teen years and cycle through the prison system as adults.” Or 20 potential terrorists if they were Muslim. Horseshit. A mass shooting or attack on students at a school is always news, and it seems to be exclusively a White Loser crime - not a new one, either. There doesn’t seem to be any rule in place as to the amount of airtime each one gets. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/76 "2013-04-27T16:03:53Z")
Y’know, I could do the traffic report after something like this, specially if I’m not covering the roads on which it happened. I’d just keep a lid on the jokey chatter and simply report it straight. But some previous comments are right, nowadays if you’re in the public eye you had better be doing some for-the-record Looking And Sounding Very Aggrieved. And FWIW there are scales of what other places go through – a toll \*\*\*of an intentional act of aggression \*\*\*on the scale of 9/11 with 3,000 deaths and billions in damages at once in one single strike, or its proportional equivalent based on local population and economy, is NOT an everyday ocurrence where there’s not an active war going on. Three dead and scores hurt in one incident is far more common but like others said, every human society at least _aspires_ at it not being “normal”. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/77 "2013-04-27T17:35:45Z")
And every time the anniversary of 9/11 rolls around, we’re supposed to sit around feeling miserable the whole day, in a very long moment of silence. I must confess that I do not do this. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/78 "2013-04-27T19:15:56Z")
> [@Tee](#): > > Horseshit. A mass shooting or attack on students at a school is always news, and it seems to be exclusively a White Loser crime - not a new one, either. There doesn’t seem to be any rule in place as to the amount of airtime each one gets. Really? Remember this one, assuming you ever heard about it to begin with? It actually got more press because the boy claimed to be a neo-Nazi, never mind that were the Nazis to come to power, he’d be one of the first people executed, and in fact the Nazis learned a lot of their techniques from the whole Indian relocation thing? > **[Red Lake shootings](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Lake_massacre)** > > The Red Lake shootings was a spree killing that occurred on March 21, 2005, at two locations on the Red Lake Indian Reservation in Red Lake, Minnesota, United States. That afternoon at 2:00 p.m., 16-year-old Jeff Weise killed his grandfather (an Ojibwe tribal police sergeant) and his grandfather's girlfriend at their lakeside home. After taking his grandfather's police weapons and bulletproof vest, Weise drove his grandfather's police vehicle to Red Lake Senior High School, where he had been a... ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/79 "2013-04-27T21:09:54Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > And every time the anniversary of 9/11 rolls around, we’re supposed to sit around feeling miserable the whole day, in a very long moment of silence. > > I must confess that I do not do this. Total agreement! Hell no! Minute of silence? Shrug. Okay with me, so long as it’s voluntary. But a whole damn day of mourning? We’ve already got Memorial Day, Veterans’ Day, and December 7th. Let’s hold it down to three, eh? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873/80 "2013-04-29T04:44:47Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > And every time the anniversary of 9/11 rolls around, we’re supposed to sit around feeling miserable the whole day, in a very long moment of silence. > > I must confess that I do not do this. I’m really surprised that I haven’t heard some 9/11 widow or widower say, “We weren’t happy, and if s/he were still alive, we’d be divorced now.” Or worse yet, “I feel bad about all those other people, but I’m glad they’re gone.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-it-im-tired-of-the-public-traumamongering/655873.md?page=5)