# GOddamn phone fuckpot ASs! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472 "2002-10-09T02:46:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/1 "2002-10-09T02:46:47Z")
i’m very damn sorry i hate answering the phone. i hate talking to people who think our orderline is some kind of phone sex asian marriage fetish line. WE DO NOT HAVE WOMEN TO SEND TO YOUR HOUSE. please stop leaving messages on our voice mail about “titty fucking”. For Canadian callers please stop asking about the size of my bossoms. Please stop calling and use the internet or some other means so I DON’T have to listen to your stupid asses!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: I hate phones. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/2 "2002-10-09T03:00:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glarGH \* > **WE DO NOT HAVE WOMEN TO SEND TO YOUR HOUSE.** Can they meet me halfway? > [@](#): > > **For Canadian callers please stop asking about the size of my blossoms.** Lotus bossoms? > [@](#): > > **Please stop calling and use the internet or some other means so I DON’T have to listen to your stupid asses!!** You’d rather get e-mail asking the same questions? By the by…what are you wearing? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/3 "2002-10-09T03:05:12Z")
What exactly do you _do_, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/4 "2002-10-09T03:13:37Z")
All I have to add is that the thread title is one of my favorites ever. That is all. LC ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/5 "2002-10-09T03:21:30Z")
I am the , uhhhh, sole and long suffering phone-anser-bot (among other things) for a mail order bride company. Our ads are in the back of various publications, including penthouse (right next to the ones advertising “hot Shemale love”. ) It is my job to let people know that we no longer offer a magazine, but have since migrated to the web. And they callers say, “But Miz GlargH, what’s the Inter-net? Do them lay-dees speak American? ARe yooo on Thar, too?” and then I cry and cry. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/6 "2002-10-09T03:31:46Z")
But, uh, If I mail-order one of your brides, can I get her mailed to my house? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/7 "2002-10-09T03:41:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glarGH \* > **I am the , uhhhh, sole and long suffering phone-anser-bot (among other things) for a mail order bride company.** Ok, I’ll admit it, you’ve piqued my curiosity. At a mail order bride company, what exactly does “among other things” encompass? And I think you owe me an honest answer, I spent my 500th post on you earlier. 😃 > [@](#): > > **And they callers say, "But Miz GlargH, what’s the Inter-net? Do them lay-dees speak American? ARe yooo on Thar, too?"** Why are only the Canadians interested in big blossoms? Is it because they don’t have any native flora other than pine trees and poutine? > [@](#): > > **and then I cry and cry.** On the phone? What’s your number? You still didn’t mention what you were wearing. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/8 "2002-10-09T03:52:56Z")
aND doN’T fuCKing get me STarted on the GOddamn sHiFT keY!!! :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/9 "2002-10-09T13:24:51Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/10 "2002-10-09T14:19:01Z")
Perhaps a change of employment is in order? ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/11 "2002-10-09T14:21:30Z")
Anyone ever see “Office Space”? _Mother sh_tter! Son of an ass!\* First thing that popped into my head. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/12 "2002-10-09T15:48:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone ever see “Office Space”? You have to ask that on _this_ board? Office Space might be the most quoted movie on the board, with the possible exception of The Princess Bride. (Although I’m trying to increase the frequency of Cool Hand Luke references) ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/13 "2002-10-09T16:05:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by apothesis_ > **Why are only the Canadians interested in big blossoms? Is it because they don’t have any native flora other than pine trees and poutine?** No, we don’t. And the rivers run with honey and we have furniture made of cheese. I also love the title. Now find a different job before this one eats your soul. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/14 "2002-10-09T16:49:30Z")
May I…please…use you in my sig? “WE DO NOT HAVE WOMEN TO SEND TO YOUR HOUSE” - glarGH ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/15 "2002-10-09T16:54:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Some Guy \* > \*\*But, uh, If I mail-order one of your brides, can I get her mailed to my house? > > 😃 \*\* Only if you have one of those mailboxes with doors at each end. Otherwise, she wouldn’t fit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/16 "2002-10-09T19:07:39Z")
Homebrew, this may shock you but: I’ve never seen Office Space. ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/17 "2002-10-09T19:23:55Z")
**jarbabyj** , you most certainly may. \*\* apotheosis \*\*, “other things” includes being customer service, receptionist, scanner monkey, head of the graphics department (Design, layout and photo editing), and sales girl. All this for only $10/hr. I’m selling myself pretty cheap. I feel dirty. I’d rather these ass-poles email, because we have another little donkey who handles email. This job makes me so damn mad I’ve actually bitten the handset. Its not “Lotus Blossoms”, but you’re on the right track. Think Asian flower festivals, you’ll probably figure it out. I’m heading back to my job of international madaming now. ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/18 "2002-10-09T19:46:01Z")
::Blinks at **airdisc** :: oy. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/19 "2002-10-09T20:02:28Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve never seen Office Space. Wha?? Rent it. Watch it. Learn it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472/20 "2002-10-09T20:31:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simetra \* > \*\*Anyone ever see “Office Space”? > > _Mother sh_tter! Son of an ass!\* > > First thing that popped into my head. \*\* Maybe it’s just 'cause I’m old, but I was thinking of Harold Ramis teaching that ESL class in _Stripes_ “Son of beech!! Sheet!!” And why are only Canadians interested in the size of your bosoms? We American boys are just as breast obsessed as they are. [sub]And I’ve never seen Office Space either[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamn-phone-fuckpot-ass/131472.md?page=2)