# Goddamned fucking heavy-duty staples!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 16, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308 "2002-07-16T23:55:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/1 "2002-07-16T23:55:18Z")
Goddamned heavy-duty staples!!! How is it that they always manage to bend, twist, warp just a wee bit, or sometimes not such a wee bit, upon use, thus rendering them nearly impossible to remove? And while I’m at it, fucking rabid admin assistants on speed! Why do they have to staple things in 75 different places at a variety of angles and depths, thus rendering them impossible to unstaple? A bit of context: my employer, a law firm, just lost a very large client to other counsel in another state, and the client and new counsel are now demanding that we provide them with copies of EVERY GODDAMNED DOCUMENT in every goddamned one of several hundred files, for free (as our fees are not hourly, but per-project, and this work was obviously not contemplated in the fee agreement). The pitiful part: the client already has around 95% of this stuff in their own files, or should if they aren’t complete morons, as we’ve already provided it to them at earlier stages of the process. Basically, they’re having us do their sucky grunt work for free, for which I get to do lots of unpaid overtime. (The partners will have to duke it out about the fees later on.) Some of these files are quite thick, and I am fried beyond belief, and simply do not have the emotional wherewithal to fight with my staple remover. It’s also very emotionally draining to see these guys go out the door; some of them are like old friends, and it’s not like we lost the client because we screwed up. I feel like I’m doing the legal equivalent of embalming bodies. Anyone know of a good client loss bereavement counselor? ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/2 "2002-07-17T03:09:55Z")
You have a heavy duty staple remover, right? Not one of those little things you squeeze between two fingers? When I was an administrative assistant at lending division of a bank, my heavy-duty staple remover was one of my best friends. A simple push with the palm of my hand and it was done. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/3 "2002-07-17T03:12:36Z")
This, by the way, is what I am talking about: [http://www.staples.com/images/products/catalog/products/264093\_01\_std.jpg](http://www.staples.com/images/products/catalog/products/264093_01_std.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/4 "2002-07-17T16:04:09Z")
How appropriate a supplier. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/5 "2002-07-17T16:44:12Z")
Unfortunately, I’ve only got the crappy kind; management lately is trying to make us feel that we’re going insolvent any second (and has laid off 10% of our staff) as a result of the client loss, so I fear that asking for even the most mundane purchase puts me at risk… It annoys the crap out of me, because even post-client loss, I’m still billing approximately nine times my salary. That’s one hell of a profit margin, even after overhead. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/6 "2002-07-18T05:54:13Z")
Well, it would suck, but if it is that much annoyance you might consider just buying your own. It shouldn’t cost more than $8. But staples do suck. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/7 "2002-07-18T13:36:31Z")
Thankfully, we finished the legal equivalent of embalming bodies last night, so it probably isn’t necessary for a while…unless, God forbid, it happens again. ---
**Author:** ![Morningstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Morningstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morningstar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-fucking-heavy-duty-staples/119308/8 "2002-07-18T15:51:05Z")
I feel your pain. I’m not sure what possesses people to use 14 heavy duty staples to keep two pieces of paper together.