# Goddamned, motherfucking, shit-eating, goat felching WINDOWS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 6, 2002, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525 "2002-05-06T12:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/1 "2002-05-06T12:16:26Z")
On second thought, all the curses are redundant. Windows is a curse in and of itself. This particular rant was caused by something relatively minor: The time on the Windows clock. This morning, it was correct. Just a few minutes ago, I created a new install disk for some software and checked the create date and time to be sure I had the correct files before burning a CD. WTF? The files I just made have the wrong create time. Check the clock. The Windows clock is suddenly an hour behind. Setting it is no big deal, but why in HELL does windows have to fuck around like this? Give me Linux or give me death!!! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/2 "2002-05-06T13:08:15Z")
Which windows version? XP has a function that automatically synchs with Internet time. Did you turn off your computer after you set the clock? If so, the battery on your motherboard might need replacement. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/3 "2002-05-06T13:21:52Z")
Win98. It is not the clock battery. The computer was running the whole time, and windows just had a spontaneous brain fart. I wouldn’t have ranted like that about it if it were something simple like the battery. Besides, a weak battery wouldn’t cause a one hour change. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/4 "2002-05-06T13:40:15Z")
OK, here ends my expertise, then. 🙂 I hated Win 98 as well. I was about to give up on all things MS. Then I installed XP. It simply rocks! ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/5 "2002-05-07T01:53:38Z")
Take Linux, **Mort**. It is better. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/6 "2002-05-07T09:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mnemosyne \* > \*\*Take Linux, **Mort**. It is better. \*\* Yup. That’s why I have Linux at home - my house is a Microsoft free zone. I have to use Windows at work. Arrrggghh! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/7 "2002-05-07T09:56:02Z")
::crrrssskkk:: Agent SPOOFE to motherbase, SPOOFE to motherbase… are you there, Warlord Bill? Over. ::crrrrrssskk:: _Affirmative, agent SPOOFE. What is the subject’s condition? Over._ ::crrrrrrrrsssskkkss:: Subject is close to total mental collapse. Desire to commit mass murder is rising. Will continue to observe. Over. ::crrrssskkkk:: _Well done, agent SPOOFE. Operation “Drive Mont Furd Nuts” is proceeding nicely. Prepare to move on to Phase 2… randomly renaming his files. Over._ ::crrrrrsssskkk:: Will do, motherbase. Over and out. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/8 "2002-05-07T10:52:49Z")
Nah. Not mass murder. Not unless you define murder as “format C: and install Linux.” I don’t even have the option of moving to Win2000 or WinXP. 95% of the software we run here at work is DOS stuff - some of it as much as fifteen years old. DOSEmu doesn’t help either - the programs go directly to the hardware in most cases (serial port stuff, mostly.) The crappy things use software timing loops, too, which causes no end of fun in a true multitasking environment. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/9 "2002-05-21T06:24:39Z")
Aha! I found the thread (Thanks to **flamsterette** ). This morning I was perusing my e-mail when I happened to run across an article about this very problem. Maybe it’ll help. In the first solution, the author (Fred Langa- [The Langa List](http://www.langa.com/)) fields questions from readers attributing the problem to owning a Dell (As if owning one on its own isn’t bad enough). Apparently it’s so wide spread Dell has even come up with a fix (Langa Newsletter 5-13-2002 - [“Weird problem solved”](http://www.langa.com/newsletters/2002/2002-05-13.htm)). The second theory, or fix, comes straight from Microsoft and it deals with the default settings of your clock when you originally set it up ([Microsoft Database - The time may decrease…"](http://support.microsoft.com/search/preview.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;Q311884)). Maybe one of these two just might help you out. If so, cool. If not… then _fuck_ I wasted a lot of time! ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/10 "2002-05-21T10:49:45Z")
Sorry, Chris. I don’t own a Dell, and I am using Win98. Thanks for trying to help. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goddamned-motherfucking-shit-eating-goat-felching-windows/107525/11 "2002-05-21T13:14:46Z")
Do you run a Gnutella client? I’ve found that most if not all the gnutella clients I’ve used (like Bearshare) causes the clock to act funny, usually only slowing down though. I use the “Beatnik Internet Clock” which corrects the time with NIST every so often, at an interval you configure. [http://somedec.com/downloads/](http://somedec.com/downloads/) Works fine with Win98.