# Gods & goddesses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239 "2000-09-14T22:10:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/61 "2000-09-18T01:16:58Z")
Fairy Princess Kitty- Goddess of Fairies and Princesses, Demigoddess of cute cuddly kittens everywhere. Totem animals: All things girly and adorable Prefered colors: pastels and pinks and glittery colors Silly isn’t it? Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/62 "2000-09-18T07:39:35Z")
If I were listed in the A D&D Deities and Demigods Cyclopedia it would read: Byzantine: (Bitch Goddess) Armor Class -2 in the Pit Move 12/24 Hit Points: 400 Number of attacks: 1 in 10 minutes Damage/attack: By weapon type. Special attacks: Latin, big words Special defenses: Able to laugh hysterically at self Magic resistance: 50% Size: 5’ 9" Alignment: Chaotic Evil Symbol: Single finger salute ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/63 "2000-09-18T10:12:28Z")
Byzantine, I laugh at your 400 hit points, for I have the powers of chaos & confusion at my command, you nihilipilificatrix! [sub][so few opportunities to use that word, I couldn’t resist!][/sub] Arkon - leave my ravens alone, they’re busy at a battle I caused at the moment (I’ll lend you a few when they are fed…), we dark god/desses gotta stick together (until I double cross you and stab you in the back, anyway!)…did I say that outloud? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/64 "2001-01-11T15:50:16Z")
In the vein of Calvinball I’m going to jump in and change the rules (even if it’s just for me) and ask **fierra** to assign me a god title. So fi, original, predictable, creative, trite, stereotypical or normal? _waits with curiosity_ ```auto 1974: Crook Richard Nixon meets his Waterloo following Watergate, People Magazine appeared, Russian ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov defected, scientists first warned of ozone depletion, Billy Joel broke into the charts with his song "Piano Man.", the first "thong bikini." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/65 "2001-01-11T16:18:39Z")
Demi-God of all empaths. ((I’m not cool, smart, or strong enough to be an actual factual God)) Protector of the shamed and cheated on, especially those who’ve experienced love unrequited. Also offered secondary prayers by philosophers/poets/musicians. Nickname: The backwards archer. Symbol: An arrow through a waning crescent moon. ((Just like my tattoo.)) Totem: The weeping buck. Preferred Offering: Two tears and the heart of a dove. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/66 "2001-01-11T17:19:02Z")
I’m the Incarnation of Balance, of course. Totem animals: Wolf and raven (sorry **fierra** , you’ll just have to share). Holy days: the equinoxes Sacred libations: All drinks that contain both alcohol and caffeine. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/67 "2001-01-11T17:37:01Z")
Back at SA forums I was the godess of randomness… I d add slackerdom now. dodgy ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/68 "2001-01-11T17:50:12Z")
If giraffes’ tongues are 18 inches long and prehensile, than Giraffe also gets Gene Simmons. Chrome Spotticus: Deity of Bald Heads and Cheap Tatoos ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/69 "2001-01-11T18:11:15Z")
I don’t think I’m a goddess, but if someone wants to make me into one, that would be fine. Or I can be someone’s pet/totem animal. ---
**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/70 "2001-01-11T18:22:19Z")
Pandora - keeper of chaos I am not deserving of goddess status myself, but rather stand as a servant to the pantheon of powerful gods that is SDMB. I do my frantic best to keep the forces of chaos contained so that the high gods and goddesses can mold the world in their own way. Since I’m not a god, I’m not sure if I am allowed to ave a companion, but if I am, I’d like a puppy… everyone knows that puppies are good with choas. (this isn’t a title, it’s my IRL job description) -Pandora ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/71 "2001-01-11T18:31:23Z")
Dire Wolf: God Of Chaos, Panic And Disorder. Totem animals: Dogs and Bears Sacred Food: Chocolate Official Smiley: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/72 "2001-01-11T18:42:12Z")
andygirlus: Goddess of female deviance and peppermint Altoids. Totem animals: Hermit crabs and cats named after famous composers. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/73 "2001-01-11T18:45:25Z")
Sashay Chante: Goddess of drag queens Totem animal: The peacock Clad in a Jean-Paul Gaultier original, Sashay Chante brings the blessings of proper accessorizing to confirmed bachelors everywhere. To invoke her, devotees spray CK! on her image and intone the prayer, “You go, girl!” accompanied by a triple finger snap. ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/74 "2001-01-11T19:10:21Z")
**NEMESIS** - the personification of divine justice and the vengeance of the gods, sometimes called the daughter of Night. She represented the righteous anger of the gods against the proud and haughty and against breakers of the law; she distributed good or bad fortune to all mortals. No one could escape her power. **Nymysys** - the personification of divine justice in the dating world. Called Daughter of the Night for her ability to stay up 24/7 to talk to people in every corner of the globe. Represents the righteous anger the fates can have on someone that needs a smack-down, and the loud, stupid, and homophobic. Distributes good or bad fortune in chat, depending on her own emotional status. No one can escape her flirting power. Totem animals: Fuck-me boots, Outrageous phone bills, Angelina Jolie Sacred Mantras: “Dude, I’m SERIOUS, dude.” and “Well, if you REALLY want to call…” ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/75 "2001-01-12T02:13:15Z")
dpr…I’m working on it…proclaiming you god who confuses people’s sex would be just plain mean 😉 BornDodgy…I proclaim you goddess of random slackers… screech-owl…I proclaim you goddess of beautiful winged creatures that startle the living bejaysus out of you at night, timely posts, and good ideas… pandora… you may not have noticed, but a lot of those major gods & goddesses (me included 😉 ) _like_ chaos…if you made it keeper of chaos, so that there is always chaos around when we want to play with it or to mould the world with, I _might_ let you keep the puppy! …after all, puppies are good at creating chaos! to all the self acclaimed gods & goddesses…I now proclaim you you!..with a special “you go, girl!” for goboy for making me laugh! (fortunately, being female, I shouldn’t get accessorized! Goddesses of chaos & confusion are _supposed_ to wear black…and another of my divine powers is to look good in it 😉 ) Balance…at least I keep the bats all to myself…I’ll send them to remind you when it’s my turn for the wolves and ravens…or maybe we can just meet on the battlefield…there should be plenty to share there… ## dpr…god of presidents who have honesty and a sense of humour and other absurd and mythical creatures. You can create new mythical creatures at will to serve you, to ravage the world and wage war upon the ungodly creatures of the pit…Totem animal…whatever you imagine into being. fierra, goddess of chaos & confusion fierra, I dub thee Viscountess of Darkness and Evil, Baroness of All Things That Go Bump In the Night. [FPK] One of only two mortals to have met the dark queen of ULVAN, coal goddess, and survived. Yes, I realise that this contradicts the goddess statement… I was incognito that day 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/76 "2001-01-12T03:13:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fierra \* > Balance…at least I keep the bats all to myself…I’ll send them to remind you when it’s my turn for the wolves and ravens…or maybe we can just meet on the battlefield…there should be plenty to share there… \ They shall come unto you at the proper time…I bind nothing that I do not also loose… \ I’ll be the one in gray. Should I make a note to duel a god of law (to a draw, naturally) the day before? The Balance must be maintained, after all… ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/77 "2001-01-12T03:26:57Z")
I’ve always liked to think of myself as the Lord of Blades, or Lord of Flame. If there’s already a God or Goddess of flame (Silver Fire?), hey, I’ll do your ever-so-heated bidding, but cold metal is my domain… I dont really wanna be a God, so you all can rule over me or something. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/78 "2001-01-12T03:28:40Z")
Oh, right… patron animal would be the Dragon, but I’d rather be defined with a patron material; steel, titanium, platinum, and the like. Lord of Blades. _maniacal grinning_ ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/79 "2001-01-12T03:54:18Z")
TroubleAgain: Goddess of All Things Warm and Fuzzy, Demigoddess of Critters of All Kinds! Patron saints: All who give virtual hugs and use smileys in messages (Sorry, ChiefScott). All who post sympathy messages and happy birthday messages. Ritual prayer: Seasonal–either “I’m so sorry you’re having a bad day” or “Happy Birthday” or “Congratulations” will do for a novitiate to the order. Full members of the order will, of course, use more complex prayers and chants. Totem animal: Well, cats, of course. (You see the advantages of deeming myself this sort of goddess–I get to claim in my church such wonderful people as Falcon, Purplebear, DRY, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![LazarusLong42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@LazarusLong42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LazarusLong42)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239/80 "2001-01-12T06:09:50Z")
LazarusLong42, demigod of unpublished science fiction. Patron of rejection letters. Sacred Symbols: IBM Selectric Typewriter, MS Word 2000. Sacred Chant: “Alas.” LL [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gods-goddesses/33239.md?page=5)