# Going Bald (Females Please Help) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294 "2002-03-27T02:02:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Read\_Icculus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Read\_Icculus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Read_Icculus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/1 "2002-03-27T02:02:41Z")
I have been stricken with male pattern baldness. My hair is falling out slowly, but ever so steadily. Was that supposed to be hyphenated? Too hard to keep those hyphen rules straight. Sometimes I wish I was like my cousin - bald at 19… Adolescence, then bam. Bald. But not for me. My hair continues to go slowly - making me want to cling to every last, weak, sorry strand. Now I’m a 26-year-old, somewhat established professional. Should that all have been hyphenated? Who the fuck knows. But really, what can I do? I am seeking the advice of the female Dopers. All of you 200 lb. hideous, lonely, ERRRR, I mean lovely women who frequent this board. Do I cling to my hair and do the comb-over technique until I’m 40? 50? 60? Like every other sorry-looking bald man trying to save something that is long-gone? Or, do I shave my head and look like those guys who try to look cool with the shaven-head when everybody knows that the only reason they shave their heads is because they’re bald and are trying to look cool? How do females feel about this? ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/2 "2002-03-27T02:05:01Z")
repeat after me: comb over is NEVER EVER EVER good. NEVER. NEVER. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/3 "2002-03-27T02:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Read Icculus \* > \*\*All of you 200 lb. hideous, lonely, ERRRR, I mean lovely women who frequent this board. \*\* 😕 care to explain? ---
**Author:** ![Read\_Icculus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Read\_Icculus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Read_Icculus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/4 "2002-03-27T02:19:36Z")
Sorry Green - I meant 198 lb. women. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/5 "2002-03-27T02:32:14Z")
So, are you a returning troll or are you a brand new troll? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/6 "2002-03-27T02:33:55Z")
No comb-over. Never. Not EVER **DO NOT COMB OVER - COMB-OVERS ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN** Really. Other than that - good personal hygiene and self-confidence counts more than hairstyle ---
**Author:** ![Read\_Icculus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Read\_Icculus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Read_Icculus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/7 "2002-03-27T02:53:26Z")
Please Green. I’m new, but I’ve lurked long enough to know what a troll is. I am honestly not trolling. Who would troll in the pit? Sorry about the weight thing. Now that you’ve expressed your disapproval about the weight comment, could you help me with the hair thing? ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/8 "2002-03-27T03:05:47Z")
“You’re damned right I insulted most of you unprovoked, and no, I’m not going to explain why I felt I the need to do so. Now are you going to shut up about it and help me with my problem or not?” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/9 "2002-03-27T03:46:16Z")
Try Rolgain… There is some promising data with the current round of gene therapy w/ hair growth. 2 years ago they managed to make test subjects have their hair grow out blue 🙂 If they can modify your hairpigmentation hopefully it’ll only be 5 or so years before they can get hair to regrow. And if neither of those things work out… Shave it all off. Embrace you. Hell, go for broke, become TOTALLY HAIRLESS! Wax all those li’l bugger off your body. BECOME MORE AERODYNATMIC! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/10 "2002-03-27T03:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Read Icculus \* > \*\*Please Green. I’m new, but I’ve lurked long enough to know what a troll is. I am honestly not trolling. Who would troll in the pit? Sorry about the weight thing. Now that you’ve expressed your disapproval about the weight comment, could you help me with the hair thing? \*\* Gee, why should I? I can lose weight-but you’re still gonna be bald. :rolleyes: (For the record, in case anyone cares, I don’t need to lose weight, nor do I think anyone here does, because most of the people here are gorgeous-inside and out.) ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/11 "2002-03-27T03:58:10Z")
shave it shave it shave it shave it shave it… Personal preferance, I think bald guys are hot. (If I can convince you, maybe I can convince my SO as well.) ---
**Author:** ![cercaria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@cercaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cercaria)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/12 "2002-03-27T03:58:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Read Icculus \* > \*\*Sorry Green - I meant 198 lb. women. \*\* I’m about a hundred pounds shy of that… guess I don’t qualify to help you with your problem. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/13 "2002-03-27T04:19:42Z")
I’m a 200-pound guy, so I guess I’m as qualified to answer your question as a non-200-pound woman. I would say buzz cut. Not as severe as shaving, but it will greatly call attention away from your growing baldness. But shaving has its perks. I always like to think of it as “the Michael Stipe solution.” It’s like saying to your hair, “You can’t quit — YOU’RE FIRED!” I am in the same balding boat as you. What am I doing about it? Not giving much of a shit, that’s what I’m doing. My hair has been shitty from the word go — thin and brittle. That’s kind of an advantage, because it’s less painful than if I once had a magnificent mane. I have so little appetite for conducting actual hair care that losing my hair is probably not that bad a thing to happen. Not great, sure, but at least I can find a silver lining. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/14 "2002-03-27T05:29:09Z")
Try Propecia. It has the added benefit of reducing your fertility. From here:[http://www.merck.com/product/usa/propecia/cns/pi/precaut.html:](http://www.merck.com/product/usa/propecia/cns/pi/precaut.html:) > [@](#): > > …however, when treatment was continued for up to 24 or 30 weeks, there was an apparent decrease in fertility, fecundity, and an associated significant decrease in the weights of the seminal vesicles and prostate… ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/15 "2002-03-27T05:58:06Z")
Perhaps you could shave the hair off your ass, and glue it to your head. Was that supposed to be hyphenated? I’m just not sure. You positive you don’t live under a bridge? Was that supposed to be hyphenated? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/16 "2002-03-27T06:16:12Z")
Two hundred pound lonely, er, lovely woman checking in. My suggestion? Hair in a can. That’ll leave us ladies weak in the knees, guaranteed! And you know what happens when we’re on our knees, right? (Hair in a can…should that be hyphenated?) :wally ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/17 "2002-03-27T06:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Read Icculus \* > \*\*All of you 200 lb. hideous, lonely, ERRRR, I mean lovely women who frequent this board. Based on the way you phrased your OP, this 31 year old. ruggedly handsome respondant with a full head of hair recommends you learn how to masturbate. It’s like peeing, only you tug on it a lot more. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/18 "2002-03-27T07:16:16Z")
I’ve got it on a number of reliable sources that hair plugs don’t make you look like a shaved barbie doll. That’s probably the way to go for you. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/19 "2002-03-27T11:16:12Z")
The man of the house is going a little thin in front. The idea mortifies him, but I couldn’t give a dried-up guinea pig turd. Really. There’s at least a continent’s worth of ladies who don’t care AT ALL about the thickness of a man’s hair. Quit stressing about it. Sorry your intended joke re attractiveness of people using internet mesaeboards didn’t go down too well. A lot of us ladies and gentlemen of the SDMB are quite ferociously attractive. Maybe you are, too - even with the receding hairline 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294/20 "2002-03-27T11:44:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tansu \* > \*\*A lot of us ladies and gentlemen of the SDMB are quite ferociously attractive. \*\* We are? OUCH! Ow! Stoppit! Kidding! It’s like a goddamn fashion parade! OW! pan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-bald-females-please-help/100294.md?page=2)