I love the old-fashioned “ram’s horn” of racing bikes, but other than that, I’m pretty cool with cheapass bikes.
Cite that it’s cheaper and easier to meet the lower speed standard? When researching motorcycle helmets, I found that DOT helmets often provide better protection in low speed crashes than SNELL helmets, because their lower rigidity provided better protection. It could just be an issue of how tightly the material is compacted, amongst other things.
I haven’t ridden my bike since I moved, but I went and bought tubes for it yesterday and installed them. The best part? When I was done, my helmet was right there, slung onto my handlebars, just how I had left it.
As to the OP, I could never, ever go back to a WalMart bike after my $1000+ bike that I scored for $400 in college. The shifting alone is so much nicer it’s worth it, plus all the parts are interchangeable with pretty much any other quality bike. I don’t think that’s true of the cheaper models.
The last bicycle seat I bought advertised 22% better penile blood flow. 
ETA: Colophon, a motorcycle helmet is pretty much just a “foam hat”, too.
Lack of lasting damage does not equal “fine”. But do go on with the logically bankrupt rhetoric, you’re speaking volumes.