# Going on a first date with a cute girl i met online. any advice?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 26, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238 "2015-08-26T22:24:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/81 "2015-08-29T01:12:22Z")

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My sex drive dropped off after I hit my 30s and I love it. My penis isn’t fucking up my life as much as he did in my 20s. It gets better.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/82 "2015-08-29T01:17:01Z")

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And yet billions of men and women around the world are in relationships. So maybe you need to consider the possibility that the problem is you.

You want to date women? Be somebody women want to go out on a date with.

Here’s a starting hint. You want to go out on a date with this particular woman? Ask her to go out with you on a date. Stop playing these “I dunno, maybe we could hang out sometime” games. Ask her out.

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**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/83 "2015-08-29T01:28:37Z")

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Pffft. Working people. Am I right?

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**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/84 "2015-08-29T01:29:21Z")

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Are you seriously complaining that someone is NOT texting while driving??

And why would she be texting from work? Maybe she is actually working.

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**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/85 "2015-08-29T01:41:41Z")

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You must chill.

You’ve talked yourself into a position where if she doesn’t do exactly what you are wanting/hoping/fantasizing about the whole thing is hopeless. Reality doesn’t work like that. If anything, that level of desperation increases the odds that you’ll freak her out and chase her away.

Chill.

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**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/86 "2015-08-29T01:47:10Z")

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> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#):
>
> Is “swimming” a euphemism for coming up for coffee?

😃

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/87 "2015-08-29T01:50:45Z")

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Jake, you’re totally right. She’s just wasting your time. Forget about her.

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**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/88 "2015-08-29T01:52:06Z")

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Thank you for being a bigger trainwreck than me 🙂

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**Author:** ![Kedikat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kedikat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kedikat)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/89 "2015-08-29T01:55:20Z")

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Don’t over think it.  
Definitely don’t let this worry show. It will smell of desperation.  
Relax.  
If she doesn’t show up for the date. She should give you a good excuse. Not just for ditching, but also for not letting you know. If not. Move on. She is rude. Thoughtless. You know, like most of us guys. But she is a girl. They do it intentionally. We do it because we are only partially socialized.

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**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/90 "2015-08-29T01:55:49Z")

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i thought i could get serious responses here. not this crap.

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/91 "2015-08-29T01:57:35Z")

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The sad thing about this situation is these _are_ the serious responses.

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**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/92 "2015-08-29T02:08:54Z")

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I wanted to add some info-

The night or two ago where i was gunna see her and i “fell asleep” was only because after her almost insisting (almost, she came onto me and said that SHE wanted to see ME) she didn’t say anything at all indicating she wanted to see me that night or plans. She was complaining briefly about how she was tired or something. If she was THAT into me, wouldn’t she get over the fact she’s tired? I mean you guys said the same thing to me “dude, you fell asleep when you could’ve got some?” (\<\<\<more or less)

So, i ended up falling asleep.

But what she does is she waits till its really late and then she’ll send me like complaint messages or small talk and then it doesn’t get anywhere. Like she talks to me at night when shes lonely.

I’ve had this happen once or twice before and it never gets anywhere. I call these girls “stringers” they are full of themselves and love to talk to you when they are lonely because they’ve got nothing better to do at the time. Might as well kill it talking to you.

Is it too soon to jump the gun on her?

Edit: Honestly, i’m tempted to make a fake dating profile with a hot guy in it that seems really realistic. Then invite all the girls that ignored me onto dates and then i’ll just show up and be like" Hey!" (with a grin on my face) i mean they’ll probably leave but i’ll be ready to be an asshole and tear them a new one, along with wasting THEIR time like they did mine. And explaining it if necessary.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/93 "2015-08-29T02:11:47Z")

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> [@justjake](#):
>
> i thought i could get serious responses here. not this crap.

You sound immature and unstable. I think she senses that.

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/94 "2015-08-29T02:12:50Z")

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When you said you were 22, did you mean 22 _years_?

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**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/95 "2015-08-29T02:13:16Z")

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> [@April\_R](#):
>
> You sound immature and unstable. I think she senses that.

What messages here or from what i’ve said give off that vibe?

Because i’m upset about the fact that someone i really liked just dropped me like a complete hot potato? I mean, that seems FAIRLY reasonable does it not?

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**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/96 "2015-08-29T02:15:20Z")

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> [@Siam\_Sam](#):
>
> When you said you were 22, did you mean 22 _years_?

You’re funny.

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**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/97 "2015-08-29T02:16:02Z")

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> [@justjake](#):
>
> What messages here or from what i’ve said give off that vibe?
> 
> Because i’m upset about the fact that someone i really liked just dropped me like a complete hot potato? I mean, that seems FAIRLY reasonable does it not?

Because you say you just want to screw her, then get mad she doesn’t drop her life to take the D, then contemplate making a fake dating profile to trick bitches in to going on a date with you to teach them a “lesson.”  
Trust me, if I of all people say you’re unstable, you’re REALLY unstable.

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**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/98 "2015-08-29T02:16:34Z")

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Jake, have you given any thought to a monastic community? It wouldn’t be hard to find a celibate one. I think you’d be a good fit there.

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**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/99 "2015-08-29T02:17:20Z")

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> [@justjake](#):
>
> i thought i could get serious responses here. not this crap.

Why would you think that? You always complain about the responses you get here.

How many times can you possibly be disappointed by the same thing?

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**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/100 "2015-08-29T02:22:03Z")

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> [@April\_R](#):
>
> Because you say you just want to screw her, then get mad she doesn’t drop her life to take the D, then contemplate making a fake dating profile to trick bitches in to going on a date with you to teach them a “lesson.”  
> Trust me, if I of all people say you’re unstable, you’re REALLY unstable.

Just because i really wanted to have sex doesn’t mean that was 100% the ONLY thing i wanted from her.

If she went on a date with me two days ago and was like"i don’t wanna have sex for a while" i’d be fine with waiting… a while.

I find her attractive, unique, and she SEEMED charming.

But she’s pulling the whole flaky online dater.

I mean there are tons of websites EVERYWHERE with TONSSS of people complaining about how in online dating all the women are super super flaky because there is no commitment or anything. You can drop someone with a mouseclick. They can build their own ken doll or find the guy with the biggest pockets, or the biggest muscles. It’s become “shallow”

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