# Going on a first date with a cute girl i met online. any advice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238 "2015-08-26T22:24:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/101 "2015-08-29T02:23:56Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > The sad thing about this situation is these _are_ the serious responses. That is where you went wrong. A lot of us are holier than thou assholes who are several decades older than you and we feel it entitles us to act douchy towards you because none of us had any interpersonal problems when we were 22. Edit: meant to reply to the OP with that comment. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/102 "2015-08-29T02:30:00Z")
> [@justjake](#): > > What messages here or from what i’ve said give off that vibe? Try reading your posts objectively. Like a chick would, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/103 "2015-08-29T02:33:50Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > You sound immature and unstable. I think she senses that. You said that with a straight face. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/104 "2015-08-29T02:35:00Z")
So, player… did you smash yet or what? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/105 "2015-08-29T02:35:02Z")
Jake, the online thing isn’t working for you. Move up to cheap beer bars and half drunk bar flies. You’ll have better luck. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/106 "2015-08-29T02:35:50Z")
That you have leapt to the idea that she’s ‘pulling a flakey online dater’, is a total projection of your issues. I wager while she does like lots about you, she can sense your judgement and impatience. While you seem blind to it. I mean she works till 9pm and you’re pissy because she only wants to talk when it’s late ‘and she’s lonely’? A lot of projection there too. Only my opinion (and I don’t know either one of you,) based solely on what you’ve shared! Wishing you Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/107 "2015-08-29T02:39:14Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > That you have leapt to the idea that she’s ‘pulling a flakey online dater’, is a total projection of your issues. > > I wager while she does like lots about you, she can sense your judgement and impatience. While you seem blind to it. > > I mean she works till 9pm and you’re pissy because she only wants to talk when it’s late ‘and she’s lonely’? A lot of projection there too. > > Only my opinion (and I don’t know either one of you,) based solely on what you’ve shared! > > Wishing you Good Luck! so at this current moment, where the last message sent was me asking her to see me TEN HOURS ago and she hasn’t responded, what should i do? Leave it alone because if i send anything more i’ll seem impatient and needy? ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/108 "2015-08-29T02:46:07Z")
> [@justjake](#): > > so at this current moment, where the last message sent was me asking her to see me TEN HOURS ago and she hasn’t responded, what should i do? Leave it alone because if i send anything more i’ll seem impatient and needy? Send her a dick pic. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/109 "2015-08-29T02:47:01Z")
> [@justjake](#): > > What messages here or from what i’ve said give off that vibe? What messages of yours have _not_ given off that vibe? > [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > The sad thing about this situation is these _are_ the serious responses. > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > That is where you went wrong. A lot of us are holier than thou assholes who are several decades older than you and we feel it entitles us to act douchy towards you because none of us had any interpersonal problems when we were 22. > > Edit: meant to reply to the OP with that comment. If you’re several decades older than me, then sex is probably the last thing on your mind. (I know, but I couldn’t resist. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/110 "2015-08-29T02:52:27Z")
> [@justjake](#): > > so at this current moment, where the last message sent was me asking her to see me TEN HOURS ago and she hasn’t responded, what should i do? Leave it alone because if i send anything more i’ll seem impatient and needy? By any chance, do you have some rope and an empty car trunk? ---
**Author:** ![justjake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@justjake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justjake)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/111 "2015-08-29T02:52:34Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Send her a dick pic. yeah ok. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/112 "2015-08-29T02:58:46Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Send her a dick pic. This requires a level of sophistication, worldliness, and confidence with women that the young padawan has yet to achieve. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/113 "2015-08-29T03:03:31Z")
Why are you here? Don’t you have friends or Facebook or something? Aren’t there chat rooms you can get terrible advice in like when I was a kid? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/114 "2015-08-29T03:31:41Z")
If she has any brains, she’s already gotten a restraining order. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/115 "2015-08-29T03:48:40Z")
“You should see me when you get off” is not an invitation to anything. If you really want to spend time with her and not just try to get in her pants, you would have responded to her saying she works til 9 with something like, “wanna get a bite after work? There’s a restaurant name here nearby, let’s meet.” That gives her something to accept or decline. What you said, I wouldn’t respond to either, as it’s a non-starter. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/116 "2015-08-29T04:06:48Z")
I might regret getting involved but here’s what you do. Text her this tomorrow in the middle of the day: “Hey, I was going to go do X later and I wanted to invite you. If you’re busy, that’s cool, but it’ll be fun so you should totally come do X with me :)” X is a fun activity of some sort that you think she might enjoy. If she says “sorry, work tomorrow” ask “Would you like to do it another day?” If she says “can’t Sunday and I work Monday-Wednesday but maybe thursday” then you’re in. You don’t need a commitment in her reply, you’re looking for a good solid possibility of doing X. If she’s not interested, she won’t give you that. If she says “I’m not sure when I work and I have a lot to do this week” forget about her. She’s being vague and putting you off. She’s one that got away. Not _the_ one that got away, just one. Don’t be heartbroken, just forget about her. If she agrees to go do X with you, you spend that time talking to her, asking her favorite color, her hopes, her dreams etc. Ask her what she’d do with a million dollars, ask her what she likes and doesn’t like about her job. Just talk and enjoy X. Remember, the whole point of the first date is to get a second date. There. That’s the secret to women. No need to thank me but I would like 10% of any pussy you get from my advice please. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/117 "2015-08-29T04:24:15Z")
> [@justjake](#): > > i thought i could get serious responses here. not this crap. What do you expect? We’re treating you the way you present yourself. If you don’t want people to treat you this way, stop acting this way. The world doesn’t owe you respect. The world doesn’t owe you a girlfriend. The world doesn’t owe you a job. The world doesn’t owe you money. If you want these things, you’ll have to earn them. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/118 "2015-08-29T04:25:17Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > You said that with a straight face. I may have been snickering a little. I fully acknowledge the irony. Takes one to know one, and all that jazz. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/119 "2015-08-29T04:50:12Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Remember, talk to her respectfully. Don’t use slurs when talking about women. Bitches hate that. LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238/120 "2015-08-29T05:16:39Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Actually, when I tried out Tinder I had an experience much like that. I had talked to the girl a good amount via text as well as over the phone (she was definitely real), and she had been very flirtatious and clear that she was interested in having sex with me. Yet whenever I would push for a time we could actually meet up, she avoided committing to it. And she said two things that were giant red flags: that she still saw her “ex” sometimes, and that every few months she would delete the Tinder app but that it made her feel good getting attention from guys on it. I gathered that she was probably still committed to this relationship of hers and was never truly interested in meeting anyone through the app but was just using it as a kind of ego/self-esteem boost. Pretty shitty, but there are women like that out there. Yeah, I wasted some time with a couple. They love to see you squirm and try and ask you out but when the time comes, suddenly they are too busy. Best thing is if you ask and she declines (she might actually be busy) but makes no effort to find an alternative time, drop her and go elsewhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-on-a-first-date-with-a-cute-girl-i-met-online-any-advice/729238.md?page=7)