# Going out in style....Shirley's funereal idea du jour **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961 "2000-04-14T13:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/1 "2000-04-14T13:44:00Z")
Death is one of my favorite subjects. It’s soooo iffy. We don’t know when or where the final bows will be made, but one thing is for certain, we all die. I want to go out in style. None of the typical dull church service. I want something with pizzaz! _A Funereal Pyre._ I can envision my friends stand around me in the night, singing kum-ba-ya and roasting marshmellows, making smores and chatting about the mundane as I would have if I were physically there. My question to the Teeming Five Thousand is this: Is it legal to do something like this in this country? Believe me, I’ve done a search on this and all I come up with is other countries, like India. I don’t think my friends will travel to India to make smores. I suppose I would have to have a burning permit. * * * That what does not kill me, postpones the inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/2 "2000-04-14T14:20:00Z")
Gram Parsons’ friends stole his body from the airport as it was about to be shipped from California to his parents. They then took it the Joshua Tree Monument and burned it (don’t know if they roasted marshmellows or sang somthing by Gram), claiming that Parsons would have wanted it that way. I don’t seem to recall that they got in too much trouble for it. A burn permit would probably be in order (“Fire Marshall’s Office. You want to do WHAT? WHERE?”). Have you thought about what you want done with the cremains? I have a portion of my brother’s on the mantel at home. When “he” arrived from the crematorium (died in Washisngton State and was mailed to VA first class through the US Postal Service) my father came from the mailbox and said, “Mark’s home.” ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/3 "2000-04-14T14:27:00Z")
Don’t you just love black humour? In this case, burnt black humour. D’oh! snicker snarfel… * * * Fame, ain’t it a bitch. AJ Benza ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/4 "2000-04-14T14:28:00Z")
humor…oh well you get the idea * * * Fame, ain’t it a bitch. AJ Benza ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/5 "2000-04-14T15:19:00Z")
Pass me a marshmallow. Brush the ashes off first though. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/6 "2000-04-14T15:21:00Z")
I always thought it would be great to die while having sex. Might as well go out doing something you enjoy. After that, take me to the local taxidermist and make me into a piece of art. * * * Give your children these two things: One is roots, the other, wings - Wally Wally He’s our Man ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/7 "2000-04-14T15:22:00Z")
[Cecil on Gram Parson’s death](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_014.html) Actually, I was just chatting with a friend about funerals. (Neither of are deathly ill, just morbid.) Me: “So, what do you want at your funeral?” Him: “Strippers.” ('Kay…well, morbid and _odd_…) * * * My classes are optional. So is graduating. (Get your Sig by Wally today!) ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/8 "2000-04-14T16:16:00Z")
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to dispose of a body without some kind of under-taker licence. I know you can’t just plant Uncle Fred in the back yard without a health permit, and I assume the same is true with a funeral pyre. My father has always requested a Viking pyre. Build a raft, soak it in kerosene, put the body on the raft, shove off, and light. Highly illegal. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/9 "2000-04-14T16:59:00Z")
Open bar served on my casket. Everyone has to light up something - cigar, cigarette, pipe, other unmentionables… Disco ball. Mandatory laughter from all. Remember me as I want to be remembered - someone who loved laughter. Later, cremated and ashes thrown in small increments from the top of the World Trade Center, in Yankee Stadium, and off the Brooklyn Bridge. * * * Yer pal, Satan [http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif](http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif) _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five days, 14 hours, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 224 cigarettes not smoked, saving $28.12. Life saved: 18 hours, 40 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/10 "2000-04-14T21:26:00Z")
I want to be buried standing up, but my entire family thinks it’s a really stupid idea and if I die before them, they’ll probably have me laying down. This is why I gotta get married. . . * * * “I need the biggest seed bell you have. . . no, that’s too big.”–Hans Moleman ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/11 "2000-04-14T21:52:00Z")
To answer the OP, is it legal? Your description, if I read it right, is having your body burning on the campfire, and people roasting marshmallows over it? Doesn’t _soiund_ legal. Even though cremation is legal, I doubt that burning someone’s body in the open air is, but I don’t know for sure. The funeral I would like: I want a ceremony like Evita Peron had as portrayed in the movie “Evita”. Crowds thronging the streets, a jam-packed cathedral, a national day of mourning, and then I want my body to lie in state and preserved so that people can come and pay their repsects to me for years after my death, à la “Lenin’s Tomb.” During the funereal mass, any person that laughs will be forcibly ejected by intimidating security guards. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/12 "2000-04-14T21:57:00Z")
I want every guy I’ve ever known (in the Biblical sense) to be there, swapping stories about how good I was. Like Satan, I want laughter, and lots of it. And _no one wears black._ * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/13 "2000-04-14T21:59:00Z")
Oh, I got it all planned. After the service, the funeral procession starts, me up front in the hearse, then the rest. Between the service and the boneyard, I want the hearse to peal off from the procession, and have the driver go get a beer or something. About 20 minutes later, I want the hearse to drive up to my grave, where everyone is already standing, with a sign on the side that says “Late for his own funeral” * * * Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/14 "2000-04-14T22:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I want every guy I’ve ever known (in the Biblical sense) to be there, swapping stories about how good I was. Oh, Cristi, how I want to make a crack about crowds and multitudes. But I won’t, I won’t… 😃 😃 😃 * * * Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/15 "2000-04-14T22:27:00Z")
I want them to play the Pet Shop Boys at my funeral. And I don’t want them to hold it in a church. And I don’t want to be buried in a graveyard, entombed, mummified, embalmed, encoffinated, or otherwise preserved. I want to compost somewhere in a forest. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/16 "2000-04-14T23:28:00Z")
A co-worker’s mom died after a long bout with cancer. She’d had time to plan her funeral including a huge prepaid party. She’d prepared a guest list, selected the caterer, florist, colors of flowers and balloons, etc. I don’t know what her burial instructions were, but she made sure that everyone would mark her death by celebrating her life. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/17 "2000-04-15T02:14:00Z")
weirddave: Make all the jokes you like. I’m saving to have my funeral at the Pontiac Silverdome. :eek: * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/18 "2000-04-15T02:32:00Z")
If I can get the nerve up, I’m going to call up a funereal home and ask this questions…but I better do that number that blocks the \*69 feature on the other end or, I suspect, I’ll have either men with shiny badges or men with the nice white jacket showing up on my doorstep. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/19 "2000-04-15T02:38:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl: > \*\*I want to be buried standing up, but my entire family thinks it’s a really stupid idea and if I die before them, they’ll probably have me laying down. This is why I gotta get married. . . > \*\* My memory is hazy on this, but isn’t this ( standing up) the way it is done in Jerusalem. Not for religious reasons, but more so do to lack of space. I always thought being embalmed and put in as a greeter, like they do at Walmart only at a bookstore, would be kinda fun. Like that guy who died, what 200 years ago, (the name Jeremy Bentham is popping up in my mind, I must be channeling again.) who headed some college (UK?, Boston?) and his embalmed body is trotted out for board meetings every so often. What fun! This fragmented paragraph was brought to you by … ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961/20 "2000-04-15T02:44:00Z")
Swimming Riddles wrote > [@](#): > > My father has always requested a Viking pyre. Build a raft, soak it in kerosene, put the > body on the raft, shove off, and light. Highly illegal. If he waited until the Forth of July for the Big Flame Out (Which is not a National Out-A-Gay Day) to torch himself, then he might be able to count as local fire works. I can envision it now with the 1812 overture blaring on stereo speakers. Ohhhhh, Ahhhhhh… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-out-in-style-shirleys-funereal-idea-du-jour/15961.md?page=2)