# Going postal on that Dell kid **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 7, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736 "2002-05-07T16:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/1 "2002-05-07T16:21:00Z")
Last night I noticed that Dell commercial which has Steven (The Dell Kid) in a blue convertible and runs into one of his parent’s friends. Is it just me or does it seem as if that guy is going to freaking lose it and either start whumping on Steven, or go storming back into the computer store with a handgun and begin “sorting things out”? \*\* “I’m looking for THIS. They only have THAT. I try to buy THAT. All they have is THIS. It’s enough to make your HEAD spin!”\*\* Or am I just nuts? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/2 "2002-05-07T16:30:44Z")
Did you know that the original Steve died in Viet Nam after eating pop rocks and coke and this guy is actually his brother? ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/3 "2002-05-07T16:35:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Is it just me or does it seem as if that guy is going to freaking lose it and either start whumping on Steven Only in my dreams, Mooch. Only in my dreams. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/4 "2002-05-07T16:54:25Z")
Dude, you’re going to HELL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/5 "2002-05-07T17:02:12Z")
What is supposed to be funny about the lines “Stephen, is this your father’s car?” “Noooooooo” Not that I want to, but I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/6 "2002-05-07T17:05:32Z")
Forget that idiot Dell guy. I need to castrate that stupid “Zoom Zoom!” kid before he spawns an unholy race of “Zoom Zoom!” Zombies and sets out on a campaign to conquor Ohio!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/7 "2002-05-07T17:46:15Z")
Knowed Out, I think Steven is trying to diffuse the delicate situation the best he knows how. Drawing the attention away from the “store that must be cleansed” and the theft of his father’s car back to his own half-in-the-bag idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/8 "2002-05-07T17:53:03Z")
[Jack] SILENCE! [/Jack] ---
**Author:** ![Arken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Arken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arken)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/9 "2002-05-07T18:21:14Z")
I don’t know why the stupid neighbor would think that Steven stole the car to begin with. Does he know every little detail about Steven’s life? If so, why the hell was Steven dumb enough to stop to talk to him if the guy would KNOW that the car was taken without permission. Also, what kind of jerk takes his date to the local Best Buy? They have a new one now… Steven is the speaker at his high school graduation. Yeah. I buy that one. It floors me that people think he’s a teenager in the first place. He looks like he’s about 30. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/10 "2002-05-07T19:01:42Z")
Also notice at the end of the ad, the date says, “Well? Are you going to SAY it?” She asks it laughingly, but you know inside she’s thinking, “He says, ‘dude, you’re getting a Dell’ EVERY FUCKING TIME anyone say anything to him. I don’t CARE if he’s hung like Mr. Ed, I just cannot TAKE this relationship anymore. I mean, kee-rist, he takes me to Best Buy on our dates!” Dude, you’re getting the hook. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/11 "2002-05-07T19:12:55Z")
I don’t think it’s about stealing, but about image. (Such as it is.) When the guy says, “Isn’t this your father’s car?”, Steven tosses his eyes toward his girlfriend and then says “No.” In other words, “Don’t tell this groovy chick that I drive Daddy’s car, Dude.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/12 "2002-05-07T19:16:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arken \* > Also, what kind of jerk takes his date to the local Best Buy? [Homer]Electroville, Marge. Electroville.[/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/13 "2002-05-07T19:48:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arken \* > \*\* > It floors me that people think he’s a teenager in the first place. He looks like he’s about 30. \*\* Twenty-one actually [http://www.dell.com/us/en/dhs/topics/segtopic\_steven\_whois.htm](http://www.dell.com/us/en/dhs/topics/segtopic_steven_whois.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/14 "2002-05-07T20:43:28Z")
Yeah, but where can I get one of those “Dude… you’re gettin’ a Dell” bumper stickers? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/15 "2002-05-07T21:06:18Z")
Shit, he’s more **Haskell** than Eddie **ever** was! Q ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/16 "2002-05-07T21:09:44Z")
Ohio? But I digress. As Mrs. Plant pointed out, “Now we know he lies.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/17 "2002-05-07T21:23:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*Yeah, but where can I get one of those “Dude… you’re gettin’ a Dell” bumper stickers? \*\* Ya want one? I got one and only one. One of the massive perks of working for a major computer manufacturer. Wee. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/18 "2002-05-07T22:43:48Z")
You mean they exist? Cool. I’ve got a Dell - well, most of one (it’s been upgraded beyond recognition) - can I have a sticker? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/19 "2002-05-07T22:46:27Z")
I’ll see if I can dig one up. “Dude, you’re getting a ‘Dude you’re getting a Dell’ Dell bumper sticker.” Maybe. I’ll try really hard to find another. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736/20 "2002-05-07T23:22:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\* “Dude, you’re getting a ‘Dude you’re getting a Dell’ Dell bumper sticker.” \*\* Man, would that sentence be fun to try to explain to an ESL class… I think there’s something fishy about the Dell dude. Like maybe he was secretly boinking that curly black haired kid in the first commercial - upstairs in the bedroom while mom thought they were just playing with their Pentiums. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-postal-on-that-dell-kid/107736.md?page=2)