# Going to a bar alone? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 1, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077 "2011-01-01T21:07:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/1 "2011-01-01T21:07:37Z")
I am incredibly lonely and bored out of my mind. There’s not a whole lot to do around here. So, I’m thinking about going to a bar tonight. Alone. I’ve never done that before and I’m looking for any tips or thoughts on the idea. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/2 "2011-01-01T21:24:04Z")
There’s a bar near me that has dart boards. Watching or playing darts is fun, and gives you something to talk about. Pool could be fun too, but I like darts better. ---
**Author:** ![yola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/48db29/32.png) [@yola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yola)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/3 "2011-01-01T21:37:00Z")
Happy 1-1-11 **dragongirl**! I don’t drink _anymore_ but back in the day I would go to the bar by myself. I traveled for work and would get bored and lonely. So here are a couple of tips. If the bar is not within walking distance take a taxi to and from. Have a couple drinks of your choice while you are getting dolled up or not. Listen to your favorite music to get in an uplifting but relaxed mood. Talk to your cab driver on the way to the bar. Tell him you will be needing a cab ride home. Also ask him where he would suggest to go and at what time. Maybe arrange for him to pick you up in an hour to take you to a different bar that say maybe a good band starts at 9. Go directly to the bar and find a seat. (not next to the waitress station. this is known in the business as the _dummy seat_) Order a drink and ask for change for the pool table and the jukebox. Once you are comfortable in your surroundings (the bartender knows your name and you know the bartenders) go put some quarters up on the pool table. If they are playing partners tell them your game but will need a partner. After conversing with them tell them you are going to go play some songs on the jukebox and that you are sitting at the bar so they can let you know when your game comes up. At this point they could very well ask you to join them at their table by the pool table. If there is no pool table this goes the same for shuffleboard, darts etc. While you are playing pool tell them you plan on going to another bar where a good band starts at 9. But nothing is set in stone. You could very well be a pool shark and everybody wants to be your partner and you forgo dancing! Good luck and have fun girl! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/4 "2011-01-01T21:55:25Z")
What are you concerned about? Edit: After hitting submit, I’m afraid that might sound snide. It’s a serious question, and my response to the question depends on your answer. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/5 "2011-01-01T22:23:51Z")
Just feeling a little weird. I’m nut a big drinker and I’ve only gone to bars with friends before, usually as the designated driver/babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/6 "2011-01-01T22:33:17Z")
As a guy, I love sitting in a bar - I prefer being at the bar - with a book and just nurse beers and dig in… …on Clement St. in SF, between 2nd and 3rd, was a bar called the Plough and the Stars that had fresh Guiness and live Irish music. What’s not to love? ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/7 "2011-01-01T22:45:34Z")
Yola has good advice about not taking your own car. And if you like, let the bartender know that you won’t accept drinks from anyone, that is, if you’d prefer not to get caught up like that. ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/8 "2011-01-01T23:14:30Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What are you concerned about? > > Edit: After hitting submit, I’m afraid that might sound snide. It’s a serious question, and my response to the question depends on your answer. My thought exactly, but then I’m a guy & I realize it’s a little different for women. I love going to bars alone, maybe getting to know the bartender or chat w/other folks. Female friends have told me that they find it most comfortable when alone in a new place if they sit at the bar w/ a good bartender who’ll sorta look after them. Alot depends on the venue, crowd, & time of course. Happy New Year & hope you have fun! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/9 "2011-01-01T23:28:17Z")
> [@dragongirl](#): > > Just feeling a little weird. I’m nut a big drinker and I’ve only gone to bars with friends before, usually as the designated driver/babysitter. Ah. The thing to understand here is there are bars and there are _bars_ (glitter, obscenely loud music, people trying to get laid, etc). I can see the weirdness in going to a _bar_ alone; it’s just awkward to be sitting there by yourself while everyone else is partying. If you need suggestions for getting over that feeling, I have nothing, as I do not go to _bars_ alone either, for that same reason. But then there are bars. Regular, neighborhood type bars, that aren’t about people being sexy, and to which people often go alone. This is, of course, a very broad category that includes marginally-safe dive bars, sports bars, neighborhood pubs filled with regulars, after work bars, and a half dozen other bar types that I don’t feel like naming. I’d suggest you find a neighborhood bar with regulars. You wouldn’t be the only person there by yourself, and moreover, if you really feel like talking to someone, you will find people hanging out in bars tend to be a friendly bunch. I mean as a rule, talkative and friendly group of folks. I cannot remember the last time I struck up a conversation with a stranger in a bar who did not welcome the conversation. And this is not a dude-trying-to-lay-me thing. I’ll make a comment to a woman, and we’ll start chatting. So avoid party type bars, and have fun. -MOL, who spends a disgraceful amount of time in bars ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/10 "2011-01-02T00:28:24Z")
**MeanOldLady** _knows_ what a good pub is like. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/11 "2011-01-02T00:47:15Z")
> [@](#): > > I am incredibly lonely and bored out of my mind. There’s not a whole lot to do around here. So, I’m thinking about going to a bar tonight. Alone. > > I’ve never done that before and I’m looking for any tips or thoughts on the idea. I feel the same way most of the time, but with the addition that I’m self-conscious enough to feel like a loser for going to the bar alone… which is why I don’t. ETA: crap, I don’t mean to say that “going to a bar alone”=“loser,” it’s just the way I feel about myself. I don’t know why. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/12 "2011-01-02T00:52:28Z")
> [@dragongirl](#): > > I am incredibly lonely and bored out of my mind. There’s not a whole lot to do around here. So, I’m thinking about going to a bar tonight. Alone. > > I’ve never done that before and I’m looking for any tips or thoughts on the idea. Depending on the type of bar you end up going to, pubs are quite different from clubs. If your only going to have a couple of drinks, I’d suggest either vodka or gin martini and drink in moderation. A lot of people go to bars, so its possible that you might get adopted. As well, dont be afraid to leave, if you feel the night is going pear shaped. Declan ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/13 "2011-01-02T00:53:06Z")
jz78817 I know how you feel. That is part of the reason I hesitate too, low self confidence right now. ---
**Author:** ![Susanann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Susanann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susanann)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/14 "2011-01-02T00:54:18Z")
> [@yola](#): > > (not next to the waitress station. this is known in the business as the _dummy seat_) ! What does that mean? What is a dummy seat? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/15 "2011-01-02T01:02:22Z")
> [@Susanann](#): > > What does that mean? > > What is a dummy seat? Worst seat in the place, noise, people coming and going every few seconds, usually next to the kitchen door or the station where the wai staff collects silverware, napkins and other supplies. You’re a dummy if you tolerate being seated there. Usually reserved for nasty or difficult customers. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/16 "2011-01-02T01:40:35Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Worst seat in the place, noise, people coming and going every few seconds, usually next to the kitchen door or the station where the wai staff collects silverware, napkins and other supplies. > > You’re a dummy if you tolerate being seated there. Usually reserved for nasty or difficult customers. Still, it can often be better than no seat. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/17 "2011-01-02T01:46:17Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Worst seat in the place, noise, people coming and going every few seconds, usually next to the kitchen door or the station where the wai staff collects silverware, napkins and other supplies. > > You’re a dummy if you tolerate being seated there. Usually reserved for nasty or difficult customers. See I sit there because that’s usually where the bartender is and if he has time to talk he/she will while they’re slicing limes or whatever. I also have an icebreaker question: “What is the dumbest drink someone ever had you make?” I have seen people order some craaaazy things in bars and am genuinely curious. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/18 "2011-01-02T01:50:50Z")
Does the OP mean a “bar” (corner tavern) or a “Club” (dancing, etc.?) My clubbing days are long, looooong over (they were called discos back then!) and I rarely go to bars any more. But going alone to a bar is no big deal. Sit at the bar, have a few drinks, watch the tube, people watch/listen, have a few conversations with a stranger (aka a friend you haven’t met yet). 'Course, Milwaukee/Wisconsin has a zillion little “bars” so people going it alone isn’t such a rare thing. Clubbing alone I know nothing about. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/19 "2011-01-02T02:05:38Z")
Ok, so my bar night out has been a bust. I went out, but didn’t set foot in a single bar. I live in a small, rural town. There are three small bars nearby. The first one was closed. I don’t know why. The second on had exactly two cars in the parking lot, the bartender and the cook? The third one was closed for a private party. There are others, but a little farther then I wanted to drive tonight. So, I’m back home. I might stop by the closest one tomorrow afternoon to see what happens then. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/20 "2011-01-02T02:09:31Z")
> [@](#): > > The first one was closed. I don’t know why. it’s New Year’s Day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077.md?page=2)