# Going to a bar alone? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 1, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077 "2011-01-01T21:07:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/21 "2011-01-02T02:14:15Z")
I used to be incredibly shy about going to bars alone, but really, it’s a lot scarier in your head than it is actually doing it. I started with a neighborhood joint - had dinner there, then moved to the bar for a drink afterwards. Somehow that made it easier than just strolling up to the bar. The bartender there was super nice and we always had good chats. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/22 "2011-01-02T05:59:51Z")
I used to do this, and bring a book. A friend of mine, my roomie actually, worked at a bar and I’d often go to the bar she worked at to listen to the rather excellent local band. I usually didn’t get too far into the book before someone would strike up a conversation with me. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/23 "2011-01-02T06:31:27Z")
I usually only go to various local microbreweries alone – it’s fine, and most people seem to come alone. If you tip well and behave yourself, a good bartender can be a good source of entertainment, and if you become a regular, you’ll get to know personally a lot of people there, without having to commit to being friend-friends with them, but rather just friendly acquaintances you can grab a game of chess with or trade off-color jokes or kvetch about your love life or whatever. Even people you’ve never seen can be entertaining to talk to, just say, like “How’s your night going?” and you might hear a funny story or two. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/24 "2011-01-02T06:52:38Z")
> [@dragongirl](#): > > The second on had exactly two cars in the parking lot, the bartender and the cook? See, something like that could end up being a really good night. You only need one or two people to chat to, quantity doesn’t make quality. Leave the lonely girl wanders into bar thing at home and go with friendly girl who enjoys the company of others. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/25 "2011-01-02T07:03:28Z")
Thank goodness I’m not the only one who’s gone into a bar with a book! ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/26 "2011-01-02T07:35:37Z")
Always got to bring the book. Although a bar-friend accused me of carrying out my Pleiade edition of Mallarme in my pocket exclusively to impress women. Nah, it can help pass the time, too. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/27 "2011-01-02T19:16:50Z")
In the old days it was OK, but now guys take their cell phones and snap pictures of girls coming into bars alone and put them on their Facebook pages and well…The rest, as they say, is left to the imagination. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/28 "2011-01-02T23:28:53Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > In the old days it was OK, but now guys take their cell phones and snap pictures of girls coming into bars alone and put them on their Facebook pages and well…The rest, as they say, is left to the imagination. I hear the madness has spread to Twitter as well. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/29 "2011-01-03T00:13:36Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > In the old days it was OK, but now guys take their cell phones and snap pictures of girls coming into bars alone and put them on their Facebook pages and well…The rest, as they say, is left to the imagination. What? I must be lacking imagination, because I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/30 "2011-01-03T00:25:46Z")
I used to take my phone out as soon as I sat down and start texting. It gave me a chance to get a feel for the place and (in my thinking) it looked like I was communicating with someone who may show up to join me at any moment. Generally I was just updating Twitter though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/31 "2011-01-03T00:31:55Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > In the old days it was OK, but now guys take their cell phones and snap pictures of girls coming into bars alone and put them on their Facebook pages and well…The rest, as they say, is left to the imagination. Really? Cite for this? And perhaps my imagination is lacking, but what exactly happens then? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/32 "2011-01-03T01:35:57Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > So avoid party type bars, and have fun. > > -MOL, who spends a disgraceful amount of time in bars Alright, dammit, that’s IT. We need a dopefest where-ever-the-hell **MeanOldLady** is. Let’s meet in her favorite bar. [Picard]Make it so. [/Picard] ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/33 "2011-01-03T01:55:07Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Really? Cite for this? And perhaps my imagination is lacking, but what exactly happens then? I kind of assumed he was kidding. Speaking as a woman who’s been to bars both alone and with friends, I’ve never seen it happen. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/34 "2011-01-03T05:15:07Z")
dragongirl, I’ll go to a bar with you. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/35 "2011-01-03T17:25:01Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > dragongirl, I’ll go to a bar with you. I was going to say this, but then the whole thread would be moot, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/36 "2011-01-03T17:27:16Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Alright, dammit, that’s IT. > > We need a dopefest where-ever-the-hell **MeanOldLady** is. Let’s meet in her favorite bar. > > [Picard]Make it so. [/Picard] Hook it up, bro! ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/37 "2011-01-03T17:27:48Z")
Dragongirl thanks for this. - actually kind of. Have to start doing this myself, for various reasons. This thread reminded me and has gave me sdome good tips. [Hijack] Also, hi RickJay, I just finished making lasagnas for the lasst of the Christmas parties tonight. One is completely per your instructions, but for the other the terrorists have already won, its a chicken lasagna. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/38 "2011-01-03T17:35:01Z")
I go to bars alone all the time. The vast majority of times I go out Most of the time, I will be going to my local bar though, and I know lots of people down there, but they are people that I have met since going into that bar… But when I am in a different area, I’ll wander to the local watering hole, and either find someone to chat with or sit and watch whatever sports event is on the TV (curse you, day after the All Star Game!). But I am male, and I do appreciate that makes a difference. A good bartender will, though, ensure the bar is safe for single women - he or she should pay enough attention to assure you aren’t becoming chum for the local assclowns. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/39 "2011-01-03T17:50:26Z")
I’m a little late to the party on this one, but rule numero uno when you’re by yourself in a bar no matter how high-brow - or low-brow, as the case might be - the setting: never, never, \*\*ever \*\*leave your drink unattended even if it’s only for a second or two. better safe than sorry at all times. you have to watch out after yourself because nobody else is there to do it for you. ---
**Author:** ![mbetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@mbetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbetter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077/40 "2011-01-03T20:10:12Z")
> [@Scubaqueen](#): > > I’m a little late to the party on this one, but rule numero uno when you’re by yourself in a bar no matter how high-brow - or low-brow, as the case might be - the setting: > > never, never, \*\*ever \*\*leave your drink unattended even if it’s only for a second or two. > > better safe than sorry at all times. you have to watch out after yourself because nobody else is there to do it for you. I figured rule one would be “don’t pee your pants.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-bar-alone/566077.md?page=3)