# Going to a movie or a restaurant alone:Nerdy, look like a loser? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 3, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639 "2007-04-03T23:31:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BluePitbull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@BluePitbull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BluePitbull)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/1 "2007-04-03T23:31:49Z")
What do you think of a person who goes to a restaurant or go to a movie theater alone? Seems like every sitcom make a joke about someone going to a restaurant by themselves, instead of on a date or with friends or family. What is the general opinion nowadays? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/2 "2007-04-03T23:41:17Z")
I have no problem with it. My SO and I have somewhat different taste in movies and I have no problem going alone to something I want to see and he doesn’t. He doesn’t like it at all and insists that I or another friend go with him. So there’s one vote for each side. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/3 "2007-04-03T23:44:18Z")
I’m married and most of the movies I see in the theater I see by myself. It’s not uncommon for me to sit in a mid-scale restaurant all by my lonesome, too (gotta eat between those double features). Never once felt weird or uncomfortable, and would never assume the same about someone else (based on that “evidence” alone). ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/4 "2007-04-03T23:46:53Z")
I have no problem with it, and have done it on various occasions. When I was in college, I lived alone and my schedule didn’t always sync with my friends. If, when no one else was available, I suddenly got a hankering for something from a restaurant or wanted to see a movie, I’d just go and do it. There was no sense in waiting around until I could get somebody to go with me. Honestly, I’ve eaten out by myself so many times now that it doesn’t feel awkward or lonely in the slightest. It makes far more sense than being so needy as to go searching for company just so I can eat my linguine with somebody across the table. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/5 "2007-04-03T23:50:08Z")
I very rarely go to the movies, but the last couple of times I went (which was every time I went in the last 16 months or so) I went alone. I don’t mind it at all, except that there is no-one to discuss the movie with afterwards. Eating out alone is another deal entirely. I do it all the time at low-class establishments like Burger King and similar, where you can bring a book or a newspaper or something without it looking weird, and there is little or no time spent waiting for food. I’ve never done it at a fancier place where I’d feel uncomfortable whipping out reading materials. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/6 "2007-04-03T23:54:22Z")
I lunch by myself all the time and prefer it. For one thing, I like a bit of time alone. I work for five attorneys and I get to interact with people constantly as it is and I need a break. For another thing, few people like the ethnic mom ‘n’ pop restaurants that I adore. Co-workers my age are more into icky chain restaurants like “The Elephant Bar” (puke) or “TGIFridays” (ralph). I don’t go to movies alone, because I don’t like movie theaters. However, I watch recorded movies before Mr. brown gets up in the morning - usually stuff he despises, like musicals or animated movies. I like this, too, because no one talks during the movie and wrecks it. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/7 "2007-04-03T23:55:58Z")
Seeing someone dining alone is a big shrug of the shoulders to me. I used to eat at restaurants alone all the time when I was in college, because I was working in a mall, and if I didn’t want to eat in the back room (yuk!), I sat down by myself with a book and enjoyed a good meal on my break. Business people who travel often find themselves eating alone, too. I don’t see what the big deal is. Hell, I used to _vacation_ alone! Who needs the hassle of arguing about whether to see some exciting sight or lay on the beach like a slug, or waiting around for someone to finish primping before you can go get dinner? Not to mention I didn’t always have friends with the same vacation schedule or funds to take the kind of vacations I liked. So it was off to Club Med, where single people traveling alone abound – FUN! As for going to the movies alone, it’s generally too dark for me to take inventory of the crowd to know who’s alone and who’s with someone else, but I’ve done that, too. An art house cinema on the corner near my first apartment brought back 5 classic Hitchcock films to the big screen, which I wanted to see, but none of my friends had any interest in. So I just walked up to the corner, bought myself a ticket and enjoyed the movies. Well, most of them anyway. Rope sucks no matter where you see it. ---
**Author:** ![Gentle\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gentle\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gentle_Robot)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/8 "2007-04-04T00:04:32Z")
I think wow somebody who doesn’t care about silly “rules” like having to go to a movie with someone even though you spend 90-120 minutes not talking to or looking at them. Just kidding. I usually don’t notice because I mind my own business and hate everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/9 "2007-04-04T00:40:28Z")
Anyone who travels a lot gets over the eating alone thing very quickly. Room service sucks. Movies never bothered me at all. It’s dark anyway plus it’s much easier to find a seat. I make it a point to see one movie every road trip I make. I see a lot more alone than with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/10 "2007-04-04T00:44:24Z")
I’ve gone to the movies alone and eaten alone in restaurants (usually while reading) many times. I’m there with a purpose and enjoying myself. Anyone who assumes I’m a loser for enjoying some alone time probably has a sad, needy existence anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/11 "2007-04-04T00:49:44Z")
[QUOTE=BluePitbull] What do you think of a person who goes to a restaurant or go to a movie theater alone? … [/QUOTE] I think that there’s someone who doesn’t care what other people think and does what they like. Good for them! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/12 "2007-04-04T01:07:57Z")
I constantly go to new restaurants / different cuisines by myself; my SO only likes a rather narrow range of food and doesn’t really like to do restaurants, and we have an arrangement of “nights off from each other” and I spend many of mine in restaurants 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/13 "2007-04-04T01:11:56Z")
There is something awesome about vacationing/dining/movie-watching alone. Movie-watching: Watch whatever you want. Dining: Bring a book. People watch. Vacationing or even day trips: Do what you want, when you want. I make it a point to do some of these activities alone every year and though I may be a book nerd I’m no loser! I went to the Ren Faire alone one day last year and sat and watched the lovely, melancholy Shakespear productions they put on all by myself, with no one complaining about the benches, or shifting restlessly. The SO’s just not as into Shakespeare as I am! I recommend everyone try it - a little solitude is good for the soul, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Shawn1767](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/14 "2007-04-04T01:12:05Z")
I’ve had friends who say they could never go to the movies alone. But when I was not dating anyone, there were movies I still wanted to see at the theater and when I didn’t have anyone to go with, I went. My desire to see the movie overrode any qualms I had about anyone thinking I was nerdy or a loser by going by myself. ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/15 "2007-04-04T01:21:07Z")
Eating alone doesn’t bother me at all, but I’ve never been to a movie alone. Lately I’ve been really tempted. My husband isn’t a movie fan and doesn’t like the same type of movies that I do anyway. He’ll go, but I know he’s not crazy about it. I missed _Children of Men_ that I was dying to see, but he did go to see _300_. If I can’t get anyone to see _Grindhouse_ with me, I might just go alone. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/16 "2007-04-04T01:30:01Z")
Seems pretty silly to me. If you’re hungry go eat. Going to the movies is the ideal thing to do if none of your playmates are around. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/17 "2007-04-04T02:15:36Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] There is something awesome about vacationing/dining/movie-watching alone. Movie-watching: Watch whatever you want. Dining: Bring a book. People watch. Vacationing or even day trips: Do what you want, when you want. I make it a point to do some of these activities alone every year and though I may be a book nerd I’m no loser! I went to the Ren Faire alone one day last year and sat and watched the lovely, melancholy Shakespear productions they put on all by myself, with no one complaining about the benches, or shifting restlessly. The SO’s just not as into Shakespeare as I am! I recommend everyone try it - a little solitude is good for the soul, IMO. [/QUOTE] I do these things as well. I don’t mind traveling with a friend now and then, but it’s cool not having a roommate sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/18 "2007-04-04T03:12:36Z")
I do both all the time. I even go to concerts by myself. My husband travels a lot for business and if he’s not around and I want to go do something, I damn well will. I don’t give it a second thought, I don’t think about it at all. [QUOTE=BluePitbull] What do you think of a person who goes to a restaurant or go to a movie theater alone? [/QUOTE] Nothing. I don’t give it a second thought. I don’t think about it at all. It’s not nerdy, and it’s not loserish. [QUOTE=BluePitbull] Seems like every sitcom make a joke about someone going to a restaurant by themselves, instead of on a date or with friends or family. What is the general opinion nowadays? [/QUOTE] See, any sitcom writer who would make it a running joke as if something’s wrong with it is the asshole loser. Anyone who looks at you weird as if YOU have a problem is the asshole loser. I can’t even begin to imagine why people would care what an asshole loser thinks of them. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/19 "2007-04-04T03:31:58Z")
Sometimes people are alone. When you’re alone, and want to entertain yourself, what are you expected to do? Stay home and never go out? Of course not, go see a movie, and have a meal. Why the hell not? ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639/20 "2007-04-04T03:44:32Z")
[QUOTE=Gentle Robot] Just kidding. I usually don’t notice because I mind my own business and hate everyone. [/QUOTE] I don’t know if you meant this as a joke, but made _me_ laugh. 😃 And yes, I eat alone and go out alone all the time. Maybe too much. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-a-movie-or-a-restaurant-alone-nerdy-look-like-a-loser/398639.md?page=2)