# Going to Nantucket! Need limericks. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365 "2013-11-07T22:56:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Silence\_Lenore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Silence\_Lenore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_Lenore)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/1 "2013-11-07T22:56:27Z")
We’re off to Nantucket for a couple of days and I need limericks to regale my friends with! Whatcha got?? ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/2 "2013-11-08T00:07:05Z")
Are you sure you want to go there (this thread)? Hokay… There once was a man from Nantucket… …whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, “If my ear were a cunt, I’d fuck it”. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/3 "2013-11-08T00:51:48Z")
There was a young man from Madras Who had forty pound balls of brass When they clanged together They played Stormy Weather And lightning shot out of his ass ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/4 "2013-11-08T02:05:01Z")
There was a young plumber named Lee, Who was plumbing a maid by the sea. Said the maid, “Cease your plumbing! I think someone’s coming!” Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me!” ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_Lenore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Silence\_Lenore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_Lenore)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/5 "2013-11-08T02:49:53Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > Are you sure you want to go there (this thread)? It’s a long, sometimes rough ferry ride! The more jokes & the like, the merrier. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/6 "2013-11-08T03:15:19Z")
A frustrated young Mr. Hall Pushed his clone from a very high wall. He said in disgust, “All that guy does is cuss!” He was jailed for an obscene clone fall. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/7 "2013-11-08T03:23:27Z")
There once was a woman from Wheeling, Who claimed she’d no sexual feeling, 'Til a fellow named Boris, Did lick her clitoris, And she had to be scraped off the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/8 "2013-11-08T03:25:21Z")
Said the Cardinal to Mother Superior “Your singing is quite inferior!” She, not to be crass, did show some real class Said,“You can kiss my posterior!” ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/9 "2013-11-08T03:40:19Z")
There was a young woman of Worcester Who thought that a rorcester sedorcester. She let out a scream, But 'twas only a dream - A bump in the mattress had gorcester! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/10 "2013-11-08T03:58:31Z")
A young fellow named Cholmondeley Colquhoun, Once kept as a pet a babolquhoun, His mother said, “Cholmondeley, Do you think it quite colmondeley, To feed your babolquhoun with a spolquhoun?” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/11 "2013-11-08T04:06:30Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > “If my ear were a cunt, I’d fuck it”.[/spoiler] Nitpick: “If my ear were a cunt, I _ **could** _ fuck it” doesn’t disrupt the rhythm. My humble contribution: An adventurous young lady named Jill Used a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/12 "2013-11-08T04:11:41Z")
There was an old man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. But his daughter named Nan Ran away with a man; and as for the bucket, Nantucket. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/13 "2013-11-08T05:18:32Z")
Don’t. I’ve spent summers ‘on island’, and no one thinks a limerick is funny. Seriously, if you’re telling these to any islanders, just don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/14 "2013-11-08T05:19:36Z")
There was a young fellow from Boston Who bought himself a new Austin There was room for his ass And a gallon of gas But his balls hung out and he lost 'em ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/15 "2013-11-08T09:55:09Z")
A Nantucket-related limerick: S.M. Stirling’s speculative-fiction “Island”, and “Emberverse”, series, alluded to. They were sent to 1250 BC, With which most, as pissed-off as could be; But they should have felt mirth: For the rest of the Earth Got a different – much worse – deal, you see. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_Lenore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Silence\_Lenore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_Lenore)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/16 "2013-11-08T10:05:52Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Don’t. > > I’ve spent summers ‘on island’, and no one thinks a limerick is funny. > > Seriously, if you’re telling these to any islanders, just don’t. My sense of humor tends to be wide Friends want me to stop, they’ve tried! But I would never tell a pun To a native Nantucketun I wish to keep some of my pride. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/17 "2013-11-08T10:15:30Z")
Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket oh fuck it Nantucket oh fuck it Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/18 "2013-11-08T10:51:00Z")
There was an old man named Berthold Who liked to drink beer in the cold. As he lifted his cup, He said, ♪ ♪♪ “Never gonna give you up…” ♪♪ ♪ Oh snap, you’ve been limerick rolled! ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/19 "2013-11-08T11:17:24Z")
The Duchess, whilst pouring out tea, Said “Do you fart when you pee”? I replied, with some wit, “Do you belch when you shit”? And I think that was one up to me. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365/20 "2013-11-08T12:30:55Z")
There once was a man named Fellini Who spilled some gin on his weenie So to not be uncouth He spilled some vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/going-to-nantucket-need-limericks/673365.md?page=2)