# Good Advice That Seems Paradoxical

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-advice-that-seems-paradoxical/662143>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 28, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-advice-that-seems-paradoxical/662143 "2013-06-28T17:48:57Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-advice-that-seems-paradoxical/662143/1 "2013-06-28T17:48:57Z")

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It was **Little Nemo** ’s comment in post 35 of [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=694916) that got me thinking about “easier said than done” type advice.

**Little Nemo** - “…I don’t turn on many straight women and I’m trying to do that.” (emphasis mine)

It has been my experience that whenever I have tried to find a woman either I became invisible to the entire sex or grow grotesquely deformed in some way that only I can’t see. It seems that only when I have fallen into what I call “asexual limbo” (gone so long without, no prospects, libido goes comatose) that I fall into a girlfriend.

As soon as I stop trying I succeed.

So good but paradoxical advice - stop _looking_ for a partner and you’ll likely have more luck.

I was recently vasectomized - thankfully the Doctor chose to use anaesthetic rather than pulling a Torquemada routine :D. When he was approaching my tenders with an admittedly small needle I tensed, all over.

When I tense up any slight touch makes me spasm (not in the fun way). Needle touches skin, body violently and involuntarily jerks back - I’m broaching 40, I’m well aware of what scrotums and invasive objects result in. Doctor and nurse tell me to relax.

So good but paradoxical advice - When people are putting sharp things into you and you anticipate lots of pain, just relax.

Can anyone think of any others?

P.S. TMI and TLDR

[spoiler] When I had my piles removed the surgeon told me he was going to administer the freezing and produced a syringe with a red tip. The needle part had to have been three or four inches long and I had a pretty good idea what he was planning to do with it.

So he gets down where I can’t see him - but thanks to the power of imagination I can still vividly see the beast he brought with him. He touches me to prepare to inject and I shoot back like someone was about to stick a quarter foot of sharp steel up my ass.

“Relax” says the surgeon. “Relax” says the nurse. “I’m trying” says the victim.

Lather rinse repeat. Add growing three-way frustration.

“If you just relax it will be easier” Almost in stereo.

“I’m TRYING but that thing’s huge!”

Nurse: Doctor, I think he saw the red one.

Me: Yeah!!!

Doctor [resigned sigh as his head emerges from between my legs. He is holding a syringe with a blue tip hosting a needle that might possibly rival the stinger of a poorly endowed bee.] This is the freezing.

Me: Yeah, fine, cool, yay! [victim relaxes to a degree reminiscent of one who has just learned that his thumbs won’t be removed, merely crushed] [/spoiler]

Zeke