# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/261 "2003-06-20T04:17:18Z")
The bad nes is “plank with a nail in the end” is the newest, most virulent STD. The good news is, it makes you eloquent and irresistible to chicks… ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/262 "2003-06-20T04:19:42Z")
The bad news is it also makes you gay. The good news is that they’re working on a cure… ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/263 "2003-06-20T04:22:31Z")
The bad news is that this in turn makes the chicks eloquent and irresistible to other men, who you aren’t strong enough to battle off. The good news is, you’re even more irresistible slightly wounded. ---
**Author:** ![Shirty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Shirty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirty)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/264 "2003-06-20T04:36:15Z")
The bad news is, you’re slightly wounded on the groin. The good news is, you’ve read “DIY patchwork meets DIY surgery” ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/265 "2003-06-20T04:38:29Z")
The bad news is that it makes you more irresistable to the predators chasing you, as they like to target the elderly, weak and infirm. The good news is that you’re doing your part to ensure the survival of the herd. ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/266 "2003-06-20T04:40:47Z")
(bah, simulpost) The bad news is that you now have _FRANKENPENIS_! The good news is that there are people who will pay good money for a peek at your unique organ. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/267 "2003-06-20T04:44:33Z")
The bad news is that you can’t make it play. The good news is that your attorney has finally reached settlement. ---
**Author:** ![Shirty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Shirty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirty)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/268 "2003-06-20T04:50:42Z")
The bad news is, he’s settled on the bottom of lake. The good news is, you’ve taught a monkey to knife-fight. ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/269 "2003-06-20T09:51:43Z")
The bad news is that now instead of just flinging feces at you, he’s hurling deadly morningstars in your direction. The good news is he’s almost out of sharp pointy things to throw. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/270 "2003-06-20T11:34:37Z")
The bad news is his aim with his feces is equally deadly. The good news is you have a compost pile and have persuaded him to hurl his feces there. ---
**Author:** ![Necromancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@Necromancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necromancer)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/271 "2003-06-20T12:24:13Z")
The bad news is the compost pile is under your bedroom window. The good news is the gansta country version of Disco Duck has just been released. ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/272 "2003-06-20T12:29:34Z")
The bad news is that he was just released from prison and is looking for you. The good news is, he’s just a duck ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/273 "2003-06-20T12:54:06Z")
The bad news is it’s 9 feet tall and superintelligent The good news is that it doesn’t hate you anymore ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/274 "2003-06-20T12:56:42Z")
The bad news is that it will blow your house up anyway. The good news is, you’re travelling by train… ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/275 "2003-06-20T14:06:46Z")
The bad new is that “travelling by train” is the new metaphor for being first in line on the all gay naked congo line. The good news is that you’ve dressed like a woman tonight ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/276 "2003-06-20T14:17:21Z")
The bad news is the woman you’re dressed like is Carmen Electra. The good news is that trailer trash chic is all the rage in Milan (and the East Village). ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/277 "2003-06-20T15:14:08Z")
The bad news is, you still live in Oklahoma. The good news is, you found two plane tickets to Milan. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/278 "2003-06-20T15:35:54Z")
The bad news is, it’s Milan, Oklahoma. The good news is, Oklahoma is gorgeous this time of year. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/279 "2003-06-20T16:03:23Z")
The bad news is, your mother-in-law lives there. The good news is, you’ve discovered a fascinating new principle in quantum mechanics, which makes you a Nobel Prize contender. ---
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/280 "2003-06-20T19:01:15Z")
The bad news is your lose to a boy genius named Will Hunting. The good news is Matt Damon likes and your now dating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=15)