# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/441 "2003-06-30T00:47:05Z")
The bad news is, the store owner wants your wallet. The good news is, he’ll give you a good deal on bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/442 "2003-06-30T00:51:30Z")
The bad news is that the price is . . . you know. The good news is that someone brings in a huge truckload of rubber duckies. ---
**Author:** ![klockwerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/klockwerk/32/6475_2.png) [@klockwerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klockwerk)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/443 "2003-06-30T07:55:11Z")
The bad news is they won’t fit in your bathtub. The good news is you’ve got bubble bath. ---
**Author:** ![Necromancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ac91a4/32.png) [@Necromancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necromancer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/444 "2003-06-30T11:43:47Z")
The bad news is the bubbles are caused by the beans you ate last night. The good news is you’ve now got an instant tan. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/445 "2003-06-30T16:48:06Z")
The bad news is, the tan is caused by the beans you ate last night. The good news is, you’ve got plenty of air freshener. ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/446 "2003-06-30T16:52:50Z")
The bad news is, it’s too late and you killed your cat. The good news is, you can feed your pet python. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/447 "2003-06-30T17:22:42Z")
The bad news is your python prefers to kill its own meals, and is looking at you with “that look” in its eyes. The good news is, Chocolate Cake is due over any minute to pick you up for your “date.” ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/448 "2003-06-30T21:34:30Z")
The bad news is you still have the stinky bean-generated tan and he thinks it’s a huge turnon. The good news is the smell has wafted to passersby who can now see what’s about to happen to you ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jarse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f04885/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jarse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jarse)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/449 "2003-06-30T22:57:19Z")
The bad news is: The passer by is starting to sell front row tickets for your “bathroom window porn show” The good news is: The gun store owner is interested in the python ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/450 "2003-07-01T01:27:52Z")
(Heck of a place to make your first post, **Hugh Jarse**! Welcome to the boards!) The bad news is the SPCA heard about the gun-store owner’s plans for the python and stepped in. The good news is the python has become a PETA spokesreptile and will be posing with Pamela Anderson – and, as the python’s handler, you get to go to the shoot too. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/451 "2003-07-01T06:33:18Z")
The bad news is according to the restraining order, you and your other “python” may not come (no pun intended) within 1,000 yards of Ms. Anderson. The good news is there’s a nice buffet at the shoot. ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/452 "2003-07-01T21:40:05Z")
The bad news is, Richard Simmons is also invited to the shoot and so there won’t be enough food for anyone else. The good news is, Chocolate Cake has been found dead after choking on someone else’s vomit at the last Spinal Tap concert. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/453 "2003-07-02T02:26:37Z")
The bad news is, you’re considered part of his estate and have been bequeathed to The Great Golden Twinkie. The good news is you’re not The Great Golden Twinkie’s type. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/454 "2003-07-02T02:32:20Z")
The bad news is Chocolate Cake’s will stipulated that you serve as the Great Golden Twinkie’s personal toilet attendant and sometimes, personal toilet. The good news is he tips well. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/455 "2003-07-02T06:07:35Z")
The bad news it that there’s no good news. The good news is that I’m a filthy goddam liar. ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/456 "2003-07-02T14:48:50Z")
The bad news is that **Eternal** has revealed his true identity and we now know that either Bill Clinton or Richard Nixon are posting on the Straight Dope Boards! The good news is that we have a 50% chance of blow jobs as opposed to forced resignation. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/457 "2003-07-02T14:51:45Z")
The bad news is, those were the same odds we had with Chocolate Cake. The good news is, there’s probably less biting involved now. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/458 "2003-07-03T01:41:21Z")
The bad news is, there isn’t. The good news is, Nixon’s lost some teeth in the grave. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/459 "2003-07-03T05:30:40Z")
The bad news is, what he lacks in teeth he makes up for in spooky, unearthly powers. The good news is those powers no longer involve bombing Cambodia. ---
**Author:** ![Iamb\_Fake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8c91f0/32.png) [@Iamb\_Fake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iamb_Fake)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/460 "2003-07-03T06:29:00Z")
The bad news is those powers do include reviving the dead… which he uses to revive Chocolate Cake. Not only is Chocolate Cake now undead, he no longer requires sleep either. The good news is you’ve always wanted to hunt the undead. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=24)