# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/521 "2003-07-12T17:33:54Z")
The bad news is, he might replace George Bush with Chocolate Cake. The good news is that even if he did, CC would likely bite off a piece of Sandra Day O’Connor’s ear, and be impeached. ---
**Author:** ![xvxdarkknightxvx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/34f0e0/32.png) [@xvxdarkknightxvx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xvxdarkknightxvx)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/522 "2003-07-12T20:12:19Z")
The bad news is Dick Cheney is still next in line for the presidency. The good news is Arnold replaced Dick’s faulty heart with an Everlast® Heart, good for five years or your next-of-kin’s money back. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/523 "2003-07-12T23:09:08Z")
The bad news is the Heart is 4.5 years old. The good news is there’s a fresh new batch of Everlast hearts being delivered to D.C. tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/524 "2003-07-13T04:22:50Z")
The bad news: UPS don’t know exactly where D.C. is. The good news: They deliver the hearts at the stock market ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/525 "2003-07-13T05:00:19Z")
The bad news is, that practice stopped after the Martha Stewart insider scandal. The good news is, you can pick up everything you need for DIY heart transplants at Organ Depot, with no payments till next May. Free video! ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/526 "2003-07-13T05:40:50Z")
The bad news is, they only have kangaroo hearts in stock The good news is, You can call yourself Skippy ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/527 "2003-07-13T07:32:13Z")
The bad news is, you’re allergic to peanut butter. The good news is, you live next to a hospital with an emergency room. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/528 "2003-07-13T13:07:30Z")
The bad news is, they’ve never seen anyone with a kangaroo heart before, so they send you to the vet ER, which is on the other side of town. The good news is, you meet Bat Boy in the waiting room! ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/529 "2003-07-13T14:07:40Z")
The bad news is, He’ll use the Bat on you The good news is, You’re already in the ER ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/530 "2003-07-13T15:03:53Z")
The bad news is, the doctors are too busy worrying about their worthless lives to help you… The good news is, you’re “El Supremo”… ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/531 "2003-07-13T15:24:40Z")
The bad news is, You have to walk back to Paraguay. The good news is, You get a lift from Martha Stewart ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/532 "2003-07-13T16:59:28Z")
The bad news is that Martha’s heading down south to take her own piece of Paraguay, and she keeps asking lots of embarrassing questions about your financial backing and your choice of window treatments. The good news is that Martha is now bound and gagged in the trunk. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/533 "2003-07-13T17:30:35Z")
The bad news is you wrapped the fron of your car around a telephone pole. The Good news is you were driving an old school VW beetle. (poor Martha) ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/534 "2003-07-13T19:10:16Z")
The good news is that the old VW beetle, wrapped around the telephone pole, with Martha Stewart still in the trunk, is bought by a VW collector for $12.999. The bad news is, Your favorite rubber ducky is still on the front seat. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/535 "2003-07-13T19:14:34Z")
The good news is that it has a three picture deal and wants you to represent it for a 90% commission. The bad news is that your colon is perforated and you have only hours to live. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/536 "2003-07-13T19:46:03Z")
The good news is, you’ve taken so much shit lately, it clogged the holes in your colon. The bad news is, you smell ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/537 "2003-07-13T20:13:31Z")
The good news is that the smell keeps losers away. The bad news is that you’re poor. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/538 "2003-07-13T22:28:06Z")
The worst news is, you’re poor AND your house is on fire. The good news is, you live across the street from a fire station… ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/539 "2003-07-13T22:32:30Z")
{Good save, **Governor**!) The bad news is, the fire station is now also engulfed in flame. The good news is, the dalmation got out okay. . . ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/540 "2003-07-14T01:00:48Z")
The bad news is, the dalmatian has learned to communicate with the firefighters via woofspeak, and has implicated you for the double arson. The good news is, none of your family or circle of friends will argue with an insanity defense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=28)