# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![Shiva418](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Shiva418](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva418)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/721 "2003-08-04T01:46:28Z")
…the bad news is, the only store around is run/owned/operated by Oprah. The good news is, your palms will only be hairy for 10 years… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/722 "2003-08-04T02:44:07Z")
The bad news is, the drugs wore off, and now everything makes sense. The good news is, Gen. Fehr won’t have you dig the latrine… ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/723 "2003-08-04T02:53:24Z")
…the bad news is he wants you to clean it out. The good news is you have a beautiful/handsome new partner… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/724 "2003-08-04T02:59:02Z")
The bad news is, she/he hates your guts. The good news is, she/he might help you kill Gen. Fehr… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/725 "2003-08-04T04:28:03Z")
The bad news is, it’s because she’s a necrophiliac and wants to violate his corpse. The good news is, she’ll fall asleep after and you can make your escape. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/726 "2003-08-04T04:44:52Z")
The bad news is, you forgot about Gen. Fehr’s Chief of Staff, Maj. Gen. Golden. The good news is, you have a print of Theda Bara’s _Cleopatra_ to give her as a bribe… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/727 "2003-08-04T20:36:59Z")
The bad news is, she isn’t into bribery, pulls out her .45 and has you walk like an Egyptian to the MPs. The good news is, the MPs are into bribery bigtime, and you’re smokin’ on a big cigar and drinkin’ a cold beer in no time. ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/728 "2003-08-04T21:03:57Z")
The bad news is, you accidentally smoked the beer and drank the cigar. The good news is, you feel sick in a sort of good way. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/729 "2003-08-04T22:17:15Z")
The bad news is, that gets you committed. The good news is, there’s cinnamon oatmeal every morning. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/730 "2003-08-05T03:28:24Z")
The bad news is, the cinnamon feels strangely like ground amber glass, and it glows! The good news is, since you’ve been committed, you’re as stoned as can be and don’t care what they pour down your gullet. ---
**Author:** ![Shiva418](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Shiva418](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva418)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/731 "2003-08-05T03:35:35Z")
The bad news is, they’re going to strap eloctrodes to your balls every other Tuesday. The good news is, you’ve alwayse wanted to live on the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Sejal\_Traurig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Sejal\_Traurig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sejal_Traurig)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/732 "2003-08-05T13:10:57Z")
The bad news is you live aboard the Andrea Gale. The good news is your favorite book was made into a movie… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/733 "2003-08-05T13:21:12Z")
The bad news is, it was made into a “Lifetime” movie. The good news is, you have a taste for kitsch… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/734 "2003-08-05T15:15:58Z")
The bad news is, they’ve burned it, and no one likes overdone kitsch. The good news is, it does have a nice bernaise sauce ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/735 "2003-08-05T19:12:58Z")
The bad news is, bernaise sauce clashes with your earrings. The good news is, you don’t wear earrings. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/736 "2003-08-05T20:21:23Z")
The bad news is, that means those metal rings are the 9-foot superintelligent lobsters’ means of controlling your mind. The good news is, they’re really just telling you to go about your business. ---
**Author:** ![yoyo3500](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/5daacb/32.png) [@yoyo3500](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyo3500)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/737 "2003-08-05T20:59:14Z")
The bad news is, your business is making confetti with a one-hole hole-puncher, one paper circle at a time. (And boy does this make your hands feel cramped!) The good news is, after five years of hole punching, you now finally have enough confetti to sell to the City of Chicago for the World Series championship parade it’s been planning for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Sejal\_Traurig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Sejal\_Traurig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sejal_Traurig)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/738 "2003-08-05T21:08:13Z")
The bad news is… They aren’t quite optimistic enough to buy just yet… The good news is… Confetti makes a decent insulation for your house… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/739 "2003-08-06T01:59:26Z")
The bad news is, it ignites easily… The good news is, you have more insurance on your house than your house is worth on the market… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/740 "2003-08-06T04:41:37Z")
The bad news is, the policy is dependent on Shiva418 maintaining story continuity, so your policy is as good as worthless. The good news is, Shiva read this thread right as your house went up, so there’s hope for everyone yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=38)