# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 48
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/941 "2003-09-10T23:34:45Z")
The bad news is, by shaving your cat this makes you Dr. Evil! The good news is, the one…million…dollars…! ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/942 "2003-09-10T23:52:49Z")
The bad news is, it’s all in pennies. The good news is, you have a forklift. ---
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/943 "2003-09-10T23:55:28Z")
The bad news is, it’s really a eating disorder. The good news is, Horace is very happy. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/944 "2003-09-11T00:08:52Z")
The bad news is, Horace has migrated from your lower intestine and is considering taking up permanent residence in your left nostril. The good news is, this should reduce by half your odious nose-picking proclivities. ---
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/945 "2003-09-11T00:14:46Z")
The bad news is, the other half of my odious nose-picking proclivities produces gushing nose bleeds. The good news is, I am now a four-dimensional vegetarian. I don’t eat anything with a shadow. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/946 "2003-09-11T01:48:31Z")
The bad news is, shadows are now attempting to eat me. The good news is, this is my chance to test my brand new Megawatt Ultra-Luminary Super Halogen Illumination Device Supreme Deluxe[sup]TM[/sup], which can, on its ‘low’ setting, light up the dark side of the moon. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/947 "2003-09-11T03:24:31Z")
The bad news is, if you do that, Roger Walters will shove you into a box and mail you to Mali. The good news is, when in Mali, you can visit your dear Uncle Herbert… ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/948 "2003-09-11T06:01:36Z")
The bad news is he’s been dead for three years The good news is Aunt Ruth shaved for the occasion. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/949 "2003-09-11T11:47:21Z")
The bad news is, she left the goatee. The good news is, her coworkers at the circus have provided a very warm welcome – and in fact have offered you a job. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/950 "2003-09-11T12:40:42Z")
The bad news is, it’s as the new Bearded Lady, which means you’ll need surgery. The good news is, at least they have decent medical, so the surgery is free. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/951 "2003-09-11T13:19:09Z")
The bad news is, anesthesia isn’t covered. The good news is, a hammer to the head is free. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/952 "2003-09-11T14:05:23Z")
The bad news is, there are so many people wanting to administer the treatment to you that they’ve drawn lots to decide who goes first. The good news is, after the first short, sharp shock, you won’t feel a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/953 "2003-09-11T14:07:46Z")
The bad news is, that’s for the rest of your life. The good news is, it could be worse… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/954 "2003-09-11T14:35:02Z")
The bad news is, only if the first five or six hammerers are too weak to knock you all the way out… which… looks… to… be… the… way… it’s… shaping… up. The good news is, at least you have most of a 40 oz. bottle of Colt .45. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/955 "2003-09-11T15:33:50Z")
The bad news is once you have smashed open the bottle and retrieved the hunk of gun-metal you will still need to find a smelting works to shape it into a gun for you. The good news is the Colt Co. have been raking it in ever since they launched their " Ass-Cappin Construction kit. " ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/956 "2003-09-11T17:07:52Z")
The bad news is, walking around with your ass capped is really… awkward. The good news is, you can still sit down in the bandages. ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/957 "2003-09-11T17:24:00Z")
The bad news is once you’re down, you can’t get up. The good news is you’ll finally be able to shout “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” and mean it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/958 "2003-09-11T18:57:01Z")
The bad news is, the Piranha Borthers, Chocolate Cake, the mutant alient shaped like a stick, et al., have gathered around to laugh at the sight of you being unable to get up. The good news is, they’re all laughing so hard you have a chance to roll away and escape. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/959 "2003-09-11T19:44:32Z")
The bad news is, while rolling, you roll off a cliff and fall through another one of those pesky transdimensional gateways. The good news is, you land on The Planet Of Foam Rubber Mountains. The bad news is, you don’t land on a mountain. The good news is, you bounce anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/960 "2003-09-11T20:11:13Z")
The bad news is, the Tempur-Pedic people are there, harvesting the Foam Rubber Mountains for their Space Age Bedding Material ™ and they’ve got a lot of sharp cutting objects moving around quickly, which is (as if you couldn’t tell) bad news for a poor, uncontrollably bouncing bastard like yourself. The good news is, one of them inadvertetly slices the cap off your ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=47) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=49)