# Good news/bad news -- game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916 "2003-06-14T23:21:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 63
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1241 "2003-10-26T14:37:17Z")
The bad news is, you can’t run faster than 600 or so of them can eat. The good news is, Marlin’s been losing weight, and Jim never was that fat in the first place… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1242 "2003-11-01T00:07:23Z")
The bad news is, the after shave Marlin and Jim gave you for your birthday was made from insect pheremones, and all the bugs want to mate with you. The good news is, that slender mantis girl has lovely eyes. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1243 "2003-11-01T01:19:26Z")
The bad news is, the look in her lovely eyes says she’s going to rip your head off once she’s done having her way with you. The good news is, you are able to escape while she’s off “powdering her nose.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1244 "2003-11-01T02:07:40Z")
The bad news is, you don’t get far, because you leave a spoor an elephant could follow, and one does. The good news is, you can do a creditable Tarzan imitation. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1245 "2003-11-01T02:26:33Z")
The bad news is, the Tarzan imitation attracts Carol Burnett, and she _also_ likes the cut of your jib. So to speak. The good news is, here comes Tim Conway and Harvey Korman! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1246 "2003-11-01T02:36:55Z")
The bad news is, the Vegas lounge-singer act isn’t far behind. The good news is, the combination of Carol, Tim and Harvey causes the elephant carrying you to put on an extra-special burst of speed. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1247 "2003-11-01T14:25:17Z")
The bad news is, the extra-burst of speed panics the Brighton Beach Mafia, who fire over 10000 shots at you. The good news is, they can’t aim for beans… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1248 "2003-11-01T15:13:27Z")
The bad news is, they aren’t aiming at beans. The good news is, the elephant may be a little nicked, but this only means it’s more determined to escape, and you’re still getting away. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1249 "2003-11-01T15:26:05Z")
The bad news is, you ride into the path of the real NSC, who llove to hunt elephants. The good news is, the game warden is present, and won’t let them get away with it. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1250 "2003-11-01T15:35:09Z")
The bad news is the reason he won’t let them get away with it is because he’d rather do it himself. The good news is, the game warden’s drunk and not a very good shot either… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1251 "2003-11-01T15:52:49Z")
The bad news is, due to his not being a good shot, you are now in a crossfire between him and the BBM. The good news is, you’ve called on the Germn Armed Forces to save you… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1252 "2003-11-01T16:03:53Z")
the bad news is the german armed forces are as bad at aiming as the BBM the good news is they create a diversion from… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1253 "2003-11-01T16:05:11Z")
The bad news is, the diversion is from the giant pie in the corner… The good news is, you’ve found a hole to China… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1254 "2003-11-01T16:10:31Z")
The bad news is, the elephant doesn’t fit through the hole to China. The good news is, you do. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1255 "2003-11-01T16:14:12Z")
The bad news is, it turns out that the “hole to China” was actually a hole to North Korea. The good news is, you’ve managed to get out of there before anything bad happened to you… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1256 "2003-11-01T16:25:27Z")
The bad news is, you are now in mid-Pacific. The good news is, the Brighton Beach Mafia, the German Armed Forces, and Carol Burnett have fallen through the hole, and are now wreaking havoc in North Korea. The fall on the Kim dynasty is imminent. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1257 "2003-11-02T04:24:37Z")
The bad news is, you’re in shark infested waters. The good news is, your brief visit to Korea has you smelling of kimchi, and sharks don’t like cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1258 "2003-11-02T12:24:41Z")
The bad news is, the giant squid thinks you smell quite delightful. The good news is, he wants to love you and hug you and call you George. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1259 "2003-11-02T13:38:35Z")
The bad news is, you’re afraid of Steinbeck references. The good news is, the squid’s afraid of William Saroyan references… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916/1260 "2003-11-04T03:28:01Z")
The bad news is, you’re not a daring young man on a flying trapeze. The good news is, you just might have escaped all of these loonies that have been chasing you all through this thread! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=62) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news-game/181916.md?page=64)