# Good News..Bad News **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240 "2006-06-10T22:02:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/1 "2006-06-10T22:02:41Z")
Let’s play Good News…Bad News. Someone posts an item of good news, the next person posts the corresponding item of bad news. This goes on until someone decides to change the subject or we all lose the will to live. **GoodNew** I got a new job. **Bad News** It’s Moderating the Straight Dope. **Good News** I get a coffee mug. **Bad News** The goat filled it. **Good News** They are replacing the hamster… **Bad News** …with a snail. And for our first item, we have some real news. **Good News** [New shark discovered in US waters.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/5065510.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/2 "2006-06-10T22:09:28Z")
The good news is we’ve discovered a new kind of shark. The bad news is it’s in danger of extiction. The good news is we’ve discovered a new habitat for it. The bad news is that the new habitat is in … ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/3 "2006-06-10T22:57:19Z")
Detroit. The good news is the habitat is kept salinated for the sharks. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/4 "2006-06-11T03:15:08Z")
The bad news is, saline or not, it’s still hopelessly polluted. The good news is, the sharks actually seem to thrive on pollution. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/5 "2006-06-11T07:07:47Z")
The bad news that by “thrive”, I mean “the pollution is causing excellerated growth, and multiplied birth rates and physical mutations, such as a phenomenol rate, growing legs, opposable thumbs, lungs and extended lifespans are they surviving specimens are rapidly showing signs of xenophobic rage at humanity.” The good news is we’re bringing the troops home and going to turn 'em loose in Iraq. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/6 "2006-06-11T11:18:38Z")
The bad news is, no one notices the difference. The good news is they are eating all the reporters. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/7 "2006-06-11T11:21:26Z")
The bad news is this was posted in Cafe Society, and that’s not the right forum. The good is I’ve moved it to IMHO as a more appropriate forum. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/8 "2006-06-11T11:26:54Z")
The bad news is the Pit thread lambasting the mods for that decision is already on its way. The good news is the sharks are willing to help with that problem. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/9 "2006-06-11T12:47:49Z")
The bad new is shark fishing season just opened. The good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/10 "2006-06-11T13:41:14Z")
The bad news is, I don’t have a car. The good news is I don’t need to find a parking space. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/11 "2006-06-11T13:46:26Z")
Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/12 "2006-06-11T22:46:14Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. [/QUOTE] The bad news is, we can’t post the good news if the mods keep moving the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/13 "2006-06-11T22:50:20Z")
[QUOTE=Fish] The good news is we’ve discovered a new kind of shark. The bad news is it’s in danger of extiction. The good news is we’ve discovered a new habitat for it. The bad news is that the new habitat is in … [/QUOTE] Shit yeah that’s bad news. Where you gonna put a shark? ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/14 "2006-06-12T20:46:15Z")
**Good News** The Czech Republic beat the USA 3-0 in the World Cup. **Bad News** The invasion plans are being drawn up now. ---
**Author:** ![Seren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Seren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seren)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-news-bad-news/360240/15 "2006-06-12T20:52:24Z")
Good news: The Czech Republic is only going to use soccer balls for defense. Bad news: Iron, spiky, poisoned soccer balls.